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Hi
Can anyone advise me on what to do on a situation that has arisen with my ex wife.
I ll explain briefly how i have found myself in this position. In May 2009 me and my wife separated deciding our marriage was over and I moved out of the house in October the same year into my own place. My Ex Wife was soon in a new relationship with someone else and had moved in with him by Christmas with our 2 children. So I current arrangement was i would have the children 3 weekends out of every 4 . One full week in the schools six week holidays and alternative Christmas and New Year, as well as any other days i could arrange as i work full time. Fast forward 4 years I am now in a relationship with someone and have been for two years as she has children of her own too we decided to take it slow as one of her children has autism and aspergers. So we told the children at Christmas 2012 we are a couple and began spending time all together with us sleeping over once a month. In June 2013 we had decided to see if we could live together as couple and cope with both families under one roof. This was done as a trial run with the end result of me and my 2 children moving in if it went well. It went better than we hope and decided that we could do and live together.
In the last weekend of June there was an incident between my partners 2 boys and results in the child with autism giving his brother a [censored] nose. Now my ex Wife has said i cannot take my children there and its not safe and says that the child with autism is a ticking bomb and could do the same to my children. I tried to explain to my ex wife that was an 1 off incident in the six months we had been stopping there and if i did she would stop my contact with my children or reduce it. I love my children very much so i went and got some legal advice and decided from that mediation was the best way forward i made my appointment and went and when i contacted them to see how my case was going they told my ex wife made an appointment but did not attended. since then they have phone and sent letters So i asked for the MF1 form which i have received but since receiving my form my ex wife has told me that she can t go in the schools six weeks holidays and would make an appointment for September. I phone the mediators to see if this was true but there has still been no appointment made.
So last week was my week with my children and as i had not heard anymore from mediation i took my children away on holiday with my partner and her children. and when we return and she found out that we had been away i have been giving an ultimatum of not seeing my children if i didn't agree to not taking my children to stop over at my partners house till after mediation (my ex wife did refer to this as an option) but still no appointment has been made i have temporarily agreed to this until the matter can be resolved but i m considering filling in my MF1 form as well as a contact order because i'm tired of being threaten of not seeing my children and not being able to take them to my partners house to stop.
Any advice would be appreciated
James
I think you should write a letter to your ex requesting that this be moved forward with mediation and gives a timeframe for this to happen. Then say that if no appointment has been made in this time you will have no choice but to apply through the courts for a contact order. Try not to be threatening just say how important it is for the children to have contact with you, and how well they have integrated into the larger family dynamic. Point out that all siblings fight from time to time and that your children are not at any risk. Express that you would hope that you could both move forward and work together in the children's best interests, and court puts so much strain on already strained relationships and it is always better to resolve any issues through mediation.
Keep copies of the letter and proof of postage, you can ask at the PO counter for this at no extra charge, they will just print off a receipt for you.
If she hasn't responded by the allotted time you can then move it forward.....if she stated that she can't attend during the holidays then I would take this into account and give her until say a week after the children have returned to school.
You do need to move this forward, what about checking with the mediators again to see if she has made an appointment, if not you can say that the mediators told you that no appoint has been made for September and that you have to pursue this further. We are now at the end of August! (Give or take a day!)
...You could also ask her the date the children return to school and offer to make the appointment to fit in with this. If she refuses this then it would seem like a delaying tactic!
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