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Hi
A domestic incident which lead to my wife smashing up the family home in front of the children (then 1 & 2 yrs), ended in me being arrested for trying to restrain her as in doing so I have assaulted her! (common assault)
I was found guilty following the courts siding with her and received a criminal conviction for Battery (as this was a domestic assault situation), and a Restraining Order was made lasting until 19 Mar 2019. I have completed 100 hours community service as my punishment and have not breached the Restraining Order so far, even though this has meant I have had not contact with my children since 28 Jan 2018 (the day I was arrested).
My wife would not agree to any form of contact with the children I proposed through her Solicitor so I made a C100 Court Application to try and get some access granted.
At the first hearing in Aug 2018 she made a number of allegations basically claiming I was controlling and was a danger to the children. A second 'Fact Finding' Hearing was ordered for Jan 2019. My wife cleverly manipulated situations and incidents into grossly exaggerated events to show me as some kind of monster. Somehow she managed to afford a Solicitor AND a Barrister where I could only represent myself and cross-examine via the Magistrates with far less impact. Thus they believed everything she said and nothing I offered, finding in her favour on all six points raised. The next stage is for CAFCASS to perform a Section 7 Report by 27 Mar 2019 whereupon I then have 14 days to respond, with the next hearing set for 23 Apr 19. This will be the final decision on what access, if any, I am granted.
Now to my question...
I have received a letter from her Solicitor saying that as the Restraining Order expires in March, they intend to apply for a Non-Molestation Order such that: -
The Respondent, me, is forbidden to: -
a. Use or threaten violence against the Applicant or the children and must not instruct to encourage any other person to do so.
b. Intimidate, harass or pester the Applicant or the children and must not instruct or encourage any other person to do so.
c. Contact the Applicant directly or indirectly save through her solicitors and save in relation to any agreed child contact.
d. Enter or attempt to enter the former matrimonial home
The grounds being the assault conviction and the Magistrates Finding of Facts from the last hearing. The Order is to last until Mar 2020.
Her Solicitor says if i consent to the application for the Non-Molestation Order then it should just be a paper exercise for the Court but if this matter proceeds on a contested basis a further hearing would be listed and she is instructed to pursue an application for a costs order against me.
So do I consent or contest?
My concern is the impact on my ongoing application to have access to my babies, now 2 & 3 yrs, as well as how this might affect any access I might be granted 23 Apr 19.
Obviously I have no intention of doing any of the points a. to d. above.
Just for interesting additional information, my wife has not allowed my parents (or my sister) access to see their grandchildren either!
We were married for 32 years and I have never been in trouble with the police prior to this incident.
Thanks
Hi there
Sorry for the delay in responding... it's quite a nightmare situation for you. I must admit that from what you've said, your chances of success are pretty slim. Having been found guilty of battery in a criminal court, and the finding of fact going against you, contesting an NMO successfully would be extremely difficult for you.
As far as asking for costs against you, that's unlikely to be successful, but that's just my opinion. Generally costs aren't a factor in family law cases. It's probably more about her solictor using this "threat" to get you to comply.
Have you broken the Restraining order since it's been in force? You could try to negotiate accepting an undertaking with the same conditions.
As you can appreciate, although you've given details of your case, it's impossible for me to predict outcomes, but I think you do need to prepare yourself for a long drawn out process on your journey back to your children. It's possible the S7 will recommend that you complete a Domestic Violence Perpetrators programme, or something similar, these can take 6 months and contact with children isn't usually considered until that process is well underway.
If at all possible, I would advise that you get some legal advice, if that's not possible you might like to think about attending a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area where you'll get some face to face support from others in similar situations. Here's a link to their website, where you'll find a list of meetings nationally, hopefully there will be one near you.
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings
If you've suffered abuse in the relationship with your wife, you might also like to contact Men's Aid, they can also give you advice and support, here's a link to their website
www.mensaid.co.uk
All the best
I think either way you are likely to have to accept undertakings or not challenge the non-mol. Contact can still be arranged around this.
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