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hi
i had a section 7 being prepared, with a final hearing being scheduled for Septmember. But what cafcass has said there is hostility and as i want shared residency/access, that they sit down with me and the ex and sort out resolutions and see if we can work out how the parenting will work. Kind of like mediation but with cafcass there.
What this will mean she said the final hearing wil be pushed back for at least another 7 months, so next year. More than likely the ex will refuse this as she also wants more of the finances, and doesnt want me having shared access so it dont impact her financial claims.
I dont mind sitting down with cafcass and ex, but i dont want the court dates pushed back, as its been over 1 year for me to get to this stage, so what do i do? I can refuse this as i dont want the court date being pushed back, but if i do could cafcass go against me in their report.
what do i do? i have done various course and the parenting course. the ex is hostile towards me, and i always try my best, i explained this to cafcass. the ex put me through a fact finding which was disproven. i never been against her, and always kept it child focussed, so i dont know why cafcass say there is hostility, as its not from my part. i cant help if it from mother though.
This is my personal opinion, if Cafcass think there is hostility between parents this will negatively impact the level of access you will receive. When you do dropoffs, assuming you have the kids currently, do parents talk/communicate? if not cafcass will look at this, do you make effort to communicate with mother even if she doesnt? if not then you have hostility also, and cafcass will take all this into account. Hence why they proposed this level of mediation first.
If you dont sit down and talk with cafcass and your ex wife as they seem to be proposing, this will also negatively impact you as it shows hostility from your end. you should say yes to it, and play the long game, even if it means your court date is delayed for 1 year!!! its probably hard for you to do, but think of end game.
If cafcass make a recommendation that there is hostility to the courts, they may side with one parent to have more acccess, most likely the mother, so all your progress will be hindered.
I dont know what other members think of this, but whats the harm if your court date is delayed by a few months, if it puts you in a better running position.
hi,
if I was in your situation I would not be keen on final hearing being pushed back several months. usually if there is lot of hostility between parents, then court use that as excuse to not give a 50/50 arrangement, because they would think the hostility will affect the children. also if your not in direct contact with your ex to make arrangements, then that's another negative. you could ask cafcass you need their help to resolve this ASAP. if hearing will be pushed back by months, what kind of child arrangement will you have in the interim?
@bill337
thanks for reply. yes i dont personally want the hearing pushed back, and theres always the risk that mediation with cafcass and the ex -wont agree to me having any decent access which is already apparent.
what is interesting is that cafcass wants to help us both sit down and work out a plan. so this tells me possibly they want to help give me the level of access i want, because they see no reason i cant have it. But its the ex wife that is being very hostile. otherwise why would cafcass even recommend this to both of us, if they was against me they could have just written the section 7 and moved on.
At the moment, i got the kids every saturday, then every other weekend both sat and sun. but with no overnight stays, as the ex wouldnt allow it.
my solicitor advised that i shouldnt move my final hearing back any further also, just for mediation with cafcass and the ex ; unless the hearing was pushed back only a month or so. but the reality is that i probably wouldnt get any dates till next year mar/april.
so should i tell cafcass im happy to sit down with them and ex, but as long as the hearing isnt pushed back?
@Vik2001 I went to court for the same reason. was having kids on saturdays. but overnights not allowed. Cafcass in my case were very helpful, they told court that the order needs to be as specific as possible. you could tell cafcass/court that you need their help to resolve this asap, as you feel if final hearing is pushed back, there is high chance nothing will change and you will not get any overnights and just have to wait for next hearing. you could propose that you want overnights starting from this summer holiday, maybe gradually, like 1 overnight, every weekend or every other weekend.
I am going through a similar situation, and I would do as your Solicitor advises. Do not push back the hearing, because at least you then have that forum and date with the Judge to either side with CAFCASS or at least push them to reach resolution quicker. We all know CAFCASS are a shower of S***, but do not let them dictate your court dates. The system is woeful at the moment and it may mean an even longer delay like another year.
Hi vik
I'd do as your solicitor advises. However, make it clear to CAFCASS that you do agree with them that it would be beneficial to work with them as they suggest but that you feel the delays to court hearing and ultimately the impact on the kids outweighs the risk of the hostility (I'm sure your solicitor can advise on the wording). Also make it clear that you are happy to look at other interim suggestions that they may have to reduce hostility such as the use of a mediator, communicating via a third party, going on a separated parents course etc or for CAFCASS to speed up their availability to support to avoid delaying the hearing. Making sure all of this is on record in writing is something to present at court should CAFCASS try to focus on this point and restrict access.
All the best..
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