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Hello everyone, this is my first post here 🙂
I know it's been said a million times that judges don't always follow the CAFCASS report recommendations... but I'd really appreciate your thoughts on what my other half and I can do.
My other half has 2 boys (6+7)
After he separated from his ex, he had them stay for every other weekend for over a year. In Dec 2014 the ex withdrew access, saying it wasn't in the boys best interest.
My OH has always been a good father, setting boundries and being supportive. His ex set very few boundries.
His ex had the eldest referred to CAMHS. She decided the wait was too long and has paid for a private play therapy worker. A few months ago, she then decided that the youngest needed help too.
The play therapy worker has said to the CAFCASS officer that they recommend my OH does not get access. At least not until he's attended a 6 month course of therapy with her (leading up to seeing the boys again)
First of all, she's charging ridiculous amounts for this, and also expecting my OH to travel an hour to see her each week for this therapy work.
When the CAFCASS officer interviewed the boys, the mum was stood right outside (and looking into) the room. It's been witnessed by many that the boys 'play up' when the ex is around. I have already asked the CAFCASS officer to re-interview the boys without mum there - but the officer was too busy to get around to it.
There are also quite a few untruths in the report against my OH.
We believe the boys have been manipulated. To help build a picture, the ex would have a conversation with my OH on the phone. She would push his buttons to upset him, and then just at the right point, she'd put him on speakerphone so that the boys would hear his upset response.
We go back to court next week. We are finishing the statement this evening. This all feels so one sided 🙁
What can we do? Any help massively appreciated.
Hi there
Have you looked into the play therapists qualifications/accreditations, having had a quick search, there are a couple of associations you could contact. I would definitely explore if she is registered and if so you could speak directly to them about her qualifications and whether it's within her remit to make such recommendations. She hasn't even met your OH and yet she is making assumptions and that isn't very professional IMO.
Im not sure that the court can accept independent experts evidence unless it has been ordered by the judge, so maybe you should speak to the CAFCASS officer and ask them if it is procedurally correct to include the "play therapists" recommendations in their report. As its privately funded, certainly make the point to the court that the travel time and cost make it prohibitive.
Try to keep your statement child focussed, concentrate on the facts, the bond your OH had with his children prior to contact being stopped and the fact that contact was consistent for over a year. As contact has been stopped for so long it might be a good idea to suggest that contact resume under supervision in a contact centre initially, just until your OH can re establish his relationship with the children.
Best of luck
Absolutely agree with all that Mojo has said. My son has difficulties and is under CAMHS, throughout all of the time he has been going through the system we have occasionally thought about going private to speed the process up. At every juncture we have been advised that a private diagnosis or opinion will not be recognised by the school above CAMHS and GP so that's something worth bearing in mind.
I would definitely be asking for some supervised contact for your OH and his children so that he can be observed with the children.
Absolutely agree with all that Mojo has said. My son has difficulties and is under CAMHS, throughout all of the time he has been going through the system we have occasionally thought about going private to speed the process up. At every juncture we have been advised that a private diagnosis or opinion will not be recognised by the school above CAMHS and GP so that's something worth bearing in mind.
I would definitely be asking for some supervised contact for your OH and his children so that he can be observed with the children.
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