[Solved] CAFCASS Letter - Only provided to the court

was just watching that show, SAS who dares wins. one thing that stood out is when SF guy said they had to learn when to completely disconnect their emotions, to get on with their job. thats the kind of disconnect I need, when going through 2 week gaps, and not seeing kids. and when other side acts dumb and malicious.

You don't need to disconnect, but you do need to concentrate on your own needs more in the intervening period, and that way you'll also be in a better frame of mind when you do see your kids.

I find myself getting anxious when I do see my kids if it’s been an extended period since I last saw them. I feel under pressure to make sure they have a good time but with the restrictions it’s difficult to replicate the relationship we had before all this [censored] kicked off.

I can’t imagine having to go two weeks without seeing them. That’s a tough one to take Bill but try and do what you can to focus on anything other than your current situation.

I have to keep reminding myself that’s there’s nothing I can do about this, therefore there’s no point focusing on it as I get myself so worked up and angry.

It might be worth getting some counselling, I'm not an expert in this by any means, but I think it will help. You also need to keep yourself occupied - if there's any hobbies you have, or have wanted to try, then now is a good time to try them. If you can focus on yourself when you aren't with the children, then you'll feel more relaxed when you are with them.

thanks for the advice. every since the chaos started, i started doing things to keep me occupied. ps4 gaming. hanging out with family and friends more often. studying a language. i sat an ugly IT exam 5 days after my last court hearing. thank God I passed. when the weathers great, i plan road trips and go to the seaside etc. i think a large hole in my life will be filled when I settle down with a new partner. And get better contact with my kids 🙂

Sent you a private message Bill.

Hi sir my case sounds very similar to yours , how did cafcass approach the issues / allegations of da / dv etc what did they ask and how do you respond being honest and hands up ( which will be my approach anyway ) ?
Did you self represent or did you / your barrister get a
Chance to argue for overnights at the fdrha ?
Many thanks

hi citydad.

honesty is the best policy. in my cafcass interview, officer just said: ex said you did such and such, is this true? so i admitted to it. its stuff that happened far back as 2013. lol. nobody got beat up (just furniture). i did not take it seriously, as some of those incidents were twisted, and lies added to them. its better just to get that part over and done with and carry on talking about your children. I used barrister for all 3 hearings. i was hoping to self-represent, but then issue of DA/DV allegations started.

at FHDRA it is very basic. court just wants to know what the issues are, and what steps to take next. usually what will happen is, ex makes allegations and claims the children are not safe with you. so court will use caution, and decide on fact finding hearing, or to do section 7 report. in my case just the section 7 report was done as barrister said no need to do fact finding. if you have been seeing your kids before the FHDRA, then court will allow you to still see the kids, as interim order, while they do fact finding or section 7.

Super thanks . Ex flip flops between calling me incapable of looking after kids since I started proceedings to wanting to sort a CAO outside of court .if this is the case how do I cancel the court hearing / proceedings and then ageee via mediation or something ?
Cheers

citydad, I strongly advise against cancelling court process. if you do, then she will most likely take you for a ride and mess around even more. dont do it. if you do cancel, you will probably find yourself going to court again in a few months time.

I agree with Bill, if you reach agreement at any point during the proceedings, the court can make a consent order. If you feel that mediation might help, and she is agreeable you could request some court ordered mediation. Did she refuse mediation prior to your application?

Hey
Yes that’s the June thing I fear so my plan is to leave proceedings running and then reach an agreement between ourselves and take it from there ..otherwise I fully expect to be back to square one and have to start over again and wait another 2 months for the fdrha