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Just had my telephone interview with above organisation. For the most I thought went well. But we will see what comes out when we go to the court for the initial instructions. My ex is alledging that I have an issue with alcohol at the weekends! So the Cafcass people will want a hair strand test. I have been advised that I should not agree to this as there is no evidence that the care of my child has ever been compromised because of this. I have always been open about the fact that I have had a couple of beers in the evening at the weekends, BUT that's always been when all duties to my ex and son are completed. Interesting to note that the person who kept me company and was drinking with me was of course my ex!!!!!!!!!! MENTAL. Ok for her, but not ok for me.
Another thing that was mentioned was that my ex said the standard of accomodation was not up to scratch at my place. Well it was ok for me to look after our son for 2 nights and 3 days whilst she was away. So what has changed now? Talk about contradicting yourself. But this was headed off by me suggesting to the officer that she and any number of her collegues could come around and see the DOUBLE ROOM that I have for my son. She did not take me up on that. One thing I fell fowl of here was that I said I would be sleeping in the same room as my son aged 2, so I could be on hand in the middle of the night; that did not go down well. They are not very qeen on that. For warned for armed and all that.
Compared to other interviews that I hear about, I think mine was pretty straight forward. Just keep your calm and answer any questions you get through the eyes and ears of your children. I did mention that my son has a right to know where he comes from, and to know both sets of parents and there families, she seemed to warm to that.
There were a couple of "inter family" issues mentioned, but I don't think that the judge would be interested in these as they are there to sort out the future and care of a child. But watch this space just in case.
Hope this helps.
Brian
🙂 ...Thanks for that Brian, I know it will be helpful to all Dads that are worried about what to expect.
As far as I am aware, the hair strand tests are for drugs, it would be a liver function test for alcohol abuse and if you within the government guidelines for alcohol consumption (and then some), I don't think this shouldn't be a problem.
Hi, Thank you for your post this has helped as we are waiting for the cafcass to call any day. It sounds like it went really well for you . good luck on the day
I would have thought they would effectively do an extended CRB check - it's best to tell them anything they may dig up anyway, but realistically, if it's not relevant to your situation now, then I wouldn't worry too much about it - people change a lot over the years, especially when you have children.
It depends on the luck of the draw with the judge on that - I'd come clean about it up front, but argue that it doesn't affect your life/work. I'd also volunteer to give an undertaking to court that you won't smoke it for at least 24 hours before contact (and obviously not during contact) - breaking that undertaking is contempt of court, so not something to be given lightly, ie you have to adhere to it strictly.
...They usually only test the last three months, thats what happened in my sons case.They use an average growth rate of 1cm per month. It takes approximately 2 weeks from smoking it for it to be detectable in the follicle. The hair can be taken at your GP's, or they can send someone from the lab to do it. The lab person will want to see photo ID to make sure they're taking the hair from the right person. to avoid detection some men shave their heads, but then the hair is taken from the body, either underarms or pubes! :} Women try to conceal it by dyeing their hair with a strong bleach, but its still detectable because the lab is able to get to the very core of the follicle to test it, I think they dissolve it. They can even calculate level of use too... So Bz if you cut your hair so that its under 2cms long, then if you havent smoked for 2 months it should be clear!
When the results of the hair follicle tests came back for my son, it showed that he had been in an environment where weed had been smoked but hthere wasn't an indication that he had smoked it....The judge downplayed smoking weed I think he said something like " I'm not all that concerned aboutr recreational cannabis use....The mother tested positive for cocaine, even though she had dyed her hair to hide it and was late taking the test.
My son has a previous conviction for drunken fighting, he and some friends got drunk and caused some trouble in an Indian take away. I dont even think it was mentioned but I'm not sure about that, it was about 8/9 years ago.
If you've got weed convictions I'd just be honest about it and say its in the past. They look differently on class A drugs though.
Actd is right, for alcohol its a Liver Function Test which is just a blood test.
Hi Bass, very honest of you, but Nj as been through this with her son, so great advise and experience. My son also has smoked weed in the past; he says to me he hasn’t had any for a very long time!! That’s the main reason she stopped access for the first 16 months of his daughters life and he was pretty hooked on it and was so not in a good place, but he’s now sorted his life out and holds down a full time job. Wonder how many people would fail a liver function test these days!
After you had pointed that out, and I do thank you for that, is that I'm now think this was a tactical move on their part, that was supposed to be " a catch all" to get me to submit to all sorts of tests without there being one shred of evidence. I of course do not like the implication of what they are asking for.
Regards,
Brian
I will of course wait for their report to arrive to make sure it is an accurate reflection of what has taken place, but more importantly will be how this is used by them on the day in the inital instructions.
I think so. The lady I spoke to said that she would be sending a letter to both parties. Watch this space.
I should imagen solicitors and Judges drink more then they should, as long as you are not drunk in charge of your kids then I cant see an issue. I ve seen lots of stories on mums sites saying they have a problem with drink and drink a bottle or two of wine every night !
...My sons ex was/is? a heavy drinker at the time the Residency was started...her house was party central and when you drove past on bin day there would be bags and bags of empty cans and bottles. My sons best friends lived opposite so we were kept informed of what was going on....because she was drinking and taking drugs the night before, she would stay in bed until the afternoon and the children were left to their own devices. My sons friends would often find my grandson, sometimes half naked, playing in the road, he was 3! Thats one of the reasons we had to intervene...anyway my point is with this excessive drinking in the background her Liver Function tests were within normal levels! The liver is a fantastic organ and can regenerate itself. Unfortunately, I have NALD (non alcoholic liver disease) caused by a virus I picked up abroad in my teens. This destroyed my liver, but there were no symptoms! I didnt find out until 2005 when I became really ill as my liver was on its last legs, I got treatment for the virus just in time, it took two years, but it has left me with liver cirrhosis, which is as you know a disease that is usually caused by alcohol. My Liver Function Tests are also still within normal limits!!
If you are at all concerned get some Milk Thistle tablets from a health food store and start taking them, they are a fantastic liver detox and start to work straight away! But if your drinking habits are within normal limits and you dont binge drink then I dont believe you have anything to worry about. 🙂
From what I am hearing from this, other groups and other people "in the know" please be careful when volunteering for putting yourself up for "upteen" number of tests. Not only could this delay contact but the expense might, put testing, and therefore contact out of your reach. Let the other side insist on it, and only for a very limited period only, perhaps only once as this would get you started. After, that all parties will see that you are for want of a better description, "clean". If that is not good enough for you ex insist that she pays as she is the one making the alagations.
Regards,
Brian
...I agree, it was the judge who ordered the drug and alcohol tests for my sons case because drugs and alcohol were mentioned by both parties. Even though she tested positive, no further tests were ordered or asked for in the future.
As the mother got to court first and put in for Residency to try and get my grandson back off my son, it was her side that had to organize the tests even though the judge ordered them done. I would assume that her Legal Aid certificate covered the cost.
...My sons ex was/is? a heavy drinker at the time the Residency was started...her house was party central and when you drove past on bin day there would be bags and bags of empty cans and bottles. My sons best friends lived opposite so we were kept informed of what was going on....because she was drinking and taking drugs the night before, she would stay in bed until the afternoon and the children were left to their own devices. My sons friends would often find my grandson, sometimes half naked, playing in the road, he was 3! Thats one of the reasons we had to intervene...anyway my point is with this excessive drinking in the background her Liver Function tests were within normal levels! The liver is a fantastic organ and can regenerate itself. Unfortunately, I have NALD (non alcoholic liver disease) caused by a virus I picked up abroad in my teens. This destroyed my liver, but there were no symptoms! I didnt find out until 2005 when I became really ill as my liver was on its last legs, I got treatment for the virus just in time, it took two years, but it has left me with liver cirrhosis, which is as you know a disease that is usually caused by alcohol. My Liver Function Tests are also still within normal limits!!
If you are at all concerned get some Milk Thistle tablets from a health food store and start taking them, they are a fantastic liver detox and start to work straight away! But if your drinking habits are within normal limits and you dont binge drink then I dont believe you have anything to worry about. 🙂
Almost sounds as though your son could have been married to my ex - except that the bottles and rubbish tended to stay strewn around the house rather than make it to the bins. My ex had the Liver Function test and her GGT figures were way above normal - that was probably on a consistent half bottle of spirits every day for years.
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