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I've now received a date for the initial court hearing I applied for.
In my applications I raised concerns about my ex's parenting and behaviour.
My solicitor has told me to expect CAFCASS to contact me over the next couple of weeks about safeguarding. I don't think this happened when I took my ex to court the time around, and I am wondering what I can expect - whether anyone has any experience of this themselves?
I've tried asking my solicitor, but she seems to dodge these kinds of questions and doesn't give me much in the way of an answer. I am still weighing up whether to change solicitor.
I am also very anxious about CAFCASS in general, as at the last court hearing they seemed to take every lie my ex made about me verbatim, and twisted things generally, for example they somehow used the fact that I've never had a huge circle of friends against me, saying it could negatively impact my daughter - absurd! They also went to town on my physical health, which I feel is something that I can't help and shouldn't be punished for. As we all know, their default position is to take the mother's side and pretty much only take the father seriously if the child has been injured by the mother, kidnapped, or something else extreme. I am worried that whatever I say is going to be spun on its head again and I'm going to end coming off worse.
I have raised my anxiety about CAFCASS with my solicitor, but again, she's been no help.
I've read some of the pinned posts here, but wondered if anyone could share any personal experiences that might help, or point me in the direction of what they may ask re: safeguarding, and what I should and shouldn't say to them throughout the whole court process.
I wouldn't worry too much, just be yourself, stay calm and child focussed and be honest. Mr Slims sticky about CAFCASS do's and don't's is a great guide, from a well respected forum member.
https://www.dad.info/forum/legal-eagle/39645-dealing-with-cafcass-do-s-don-ts
Agree with Mojo, be yourself, stay calm and be honest for sure!
Definitely keep it child focused but i wouldnt let that stop you from raising any concerns you have on behalf of your child if you have any. Just make sure if you are raising it for the benefit of your child to keep it child focused - not bad mouthing the mother.
I.E My partner mentioned how the mother refuses contact as of when she wishes, he explained how this is impacting the child (child was screaming not to go back to mummys and was asking things like i see daddy again?) he went on to explain that he felt this was caused because the mother was not providing a stable routine of contact for the child and going forward he asked if something would be put in place. At the next hearing the judge made it clear that going forward the mother cannot refuse contact and of when she feels but must have a valid reasoning and she must apply to the court with the relevant application for her reason.
There may be things said that your partner has said to them which can be annoying, just remember stay calm and as the guide says keep focused on the bigger picture, thats the most important thing!
Although it is very daunting and nervous waiting for the call, youll be fine once you are speaking to them!
Good luck
PS that Dos and donts is very good, so make sure you have a look at it.
Yes that's an important point, being child focussed and not bad mouthing the mother doesn't mean that you can't raise concerns, but in the same breath if she is a good mother in some ways, you can say that too., just be balanced.
Yeah, that sticky was really helpful.
Apart from the lies my ex is going to tell them, which they will no doubt believe most of, the thing I'm trying to work out is how to not bad mouth my ex when the interview is about my accusations of her being a neglectful parent. Not that I'm going to start slagging off, but I'm not sure how to discuss her bad parenting with them in a way that won't make them think I just don't like her or that I'm bitter.
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