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Hi
i have a cafcass report coming up before my DRA. how is best to handle cafcass, i watched a few videos and im going to stay child focussed. However i have one concern, my eldest is 6 years old, but she has been out off by her mother against my extended family, my daughter now doesnt want to see or have her grandmum or my brother around her, both who love her very much. Should i raise this to cafcass or leave it out. i dont really want to be seen saying stuff against the mother if it goes against me. My daughter is fine with me, just against my family she says she dont want to see them.
Hi,
I would recommend you complete a Cafcass parenting plan from here: https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parents-and-carers/divorce-and-separation/parenting-plan/
mention it during your interview. This will show that your child-focused and serious about co-parenting. You could briefly mention that your concerned that for some reason your child does not want to see extended family.
If you have any doubts about whether to mention it or not and feel it may count against you then I wouldn't mention it. Your main priority is for you to get contact sorted. Once you have a proper CAO then in time you can look to build that relationship. Children's opinions are always changing no matter external influences.. As long as you don't force contact when she expresses she doesn't want to then you can positively reinforce relationships with the wider family eg by talking about family members, looking at photos, talking about things you are doing with your family and in time child will hopefully want to become involved. After all she has her current opinion due to negatively from ex and without you having a chance to balance that out.
Just my thoughts..
How was your daughter with them before the separation? As the others have said, get the one to one time together first and slowly ease them in to contact with your family. My two girls did not see my parents/aunties/cousins for about two years. They were both completely fine and happy to see them when they finally did. I did start off with video calls first which went well.
As far as I am aware, my ex wasnt saying anything bad about them and I hope this is not what your ex is saying to your daughter.
my daughter was very close to them before. now she has said she was told by her mummy she cant hug them etc etc.
im going to remain neutrel, i was just wondering whether to inform cafcass because i didnt want i to look im bitching about the ex. my intention is just to keep it child focussed.
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