[Solved] CAFCASS age appropriate contact recommendations

hi,

during my hearings, childs were aged 5 and 2 (and 0 but not relevant here). after breakup i was seeing both kids every saturday for most of day. it went to court after ex refused overnight contact. cafcass recommended gradual overnight contact. so for about 2 months i had kids stay overnight sat-sun. now thats changed to full fri-sun every other weekend. i wanted midweek overnight, but ex just a pain in the backside so instead i get to spend few hours with them after school. cafcass didnt recommend midweek overnight for me, so that made things much more difficult.

ask cafcass for fri-sun every other weekend and midweek overnights. if he/she recommends all that, then you should have an easy time. also make sure your order includes holidays abroad, issue of passports. think of the future, so you dont have to come back to court to make more changes.

Hello C420,

If there are no safeguarding and / or welfare issues to be dealt with, the "norm" for contact with fathers appears to be every other weekend from Friday after school to Sunday afternoon. Like Bill337 my Son does not have a midweek overnight but sees them for a few hours and takes them out to have tea.

You have a lot to consider as to what you can manage with your work commitments and your home situation. For working fathers who probably have no or little support, it is, I believe important to know the amount of time you can make available to your child. Unfortunately fathers have to work and as a consequence most are not able to have their children as often as they would like.

You can make requests to CAFCASS but let them be realistic and fair such as alternate Christmases, Birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day and sharing the school holidays.

You cannot gauge what CAFCASS will recommend. Be clear what you would like to achieve and what you can cope with. Be open and honest. CAFCASS and the courts primary concern is the child. Every child has the right to have their father in their life and vice versa.

The time you spend with your child at present which I know is limited, make sure you have lots of fun, laugh, love and give him your time so that being together will strengthen the existing bond you have with him even more.

Addition - After reading a previous post of yours with regard to the amount of people living in the same house as yourself, would you be able to accommodate your Son staying overnight?

Thank you for your message it’s much appreciated. I’m starting to see that my 50:50 proposal is more than likely going to be rejected so I need to have a good think about what is practical for me to achieve .

I have a 3 bedroom . My son ( when he stayed overnight ) shared a bedroom with two older boys , so 3 in a room. Is there a limit or certain policies that CAFCASS implement with overnight stays / room sharing ?

hi there,

dont worry about house size room sharing. because of my ex's silly decisions, they moved from big house to council hostel cardboard box. got kicked out, now living in another cramped flat with her family, and madly over crowded flat. 4 sleeping in 1 room lol. cafcass are mainly interested in child safety. my kids have been kicked from house to house thanks to some muppet. but not much i can do about that.

I’m sorry but I have to disagree with Bill, there have been instances where members have come a cropper because of their accommodation situation. Whilst I’m not aware of any specific CAFCASS policies regarding overnights/sibling room sharing. It would be reasonable that if the boys were all of a similar age, room sharing shouldn’t be a problem, but if there were a large difference in age that might raise questions.

Hello C420,

With regard to your Son and the two older boys sleeping in the same room, it is an important consideration as to whether they are friendly towards each other, does your Son like the older boys, do they like him?. Are the older boys considerate towards a younger child being in the same room and needing to sleep at an earlier time than they? Very often older children will go to bed later or play in their bedroom and if a younger child is asleep in the same room it could cause a bit of a problem to either your Son or the older boys. Having said that, I sincerely hope that it is not a problematic situation for them or you.

Why should 50-50 be rejected if you have room in the house and can provide pick up and drop offs between you or if you have family who can help at times?

To me I would start with 50-50 and look at how you can make that work, show to the courts how you can make that work, if need be then you can come back down to alternate weekends and midweek as the least you would accept but don't offer that at the start.

Look at offering flexibility to limit it being too rigid in case your child wants to do something with the mother or an event or with friends etc... some flexibility would be showing how you can work it rather than it so fixed.

kids should have opportunity to have equal amounts of time with their parents, not restricted to alternate weekends