[Solved] Cafcas

Afternoon,

I had Cafcass speak to me regarding an initial safeguarding check before a 1st directions hearing last november.

Basically they will talk to both you and your ex, separately, in order to try to identify any safeguarding issues concerning your child.

So they will ask you about your relationship with your ex, how it is you separated. They will most likely ask you about any contact you have with your kids now. They will ask you if you believe that there are any safeguarding issues you feel are relevant. Most likely too they will ask you what contact you want going forward. If your ex has made allegations against you, Cafcass will ask you about domestic violence. Now if you believe the allegations are false, then tell the Cafcass officer that you disagree with what your ex is saying. I had a number of allegations made against me. I have denied them all so far. And still 6 months down the line, my ex has provided not one single bit of proof.

It's a very basic interview that will allow them to produce a brief report to the court giving their initial recommendations.

My advice to you is keep what you say child focused and about what contact is best for your children. Do not badmouth your ex - even though you may feel upset. You need to come across as non adversarial, and as completely focused on your children. Do not get involved in [censored] for tat, he said-she said situations. Keep it about what is in your childs best interests going forward. The Cafcass officer in my directions hearing stuck up for me when the ex and solicitor were slagging me off....so it really helps if you can warm the Cafcass officer to your side.

Good luck. Feel free to PM me if you want any more specific advice.

Simon.

They will ask about your relationship with the mother and your son. Try to give positive responses and give examples of how close you and your son are and the kind of things you enjoy doing together...keep the conversation child centred.

When you speak about the mother it's better not to bad mouth her, voice your concerns but try not to place blame. Rather just say that your relationship has been struggling and communication is difficult. You could mention that whilst you appreciate we all need the support of family members, her mother is extremely controlling and makes it difficult for you. At handovers and is often verbally abusive in front of your son which is upsetting for him.

Always speak from your sons perspective rather than your own.....instead of saying you want to see him more, say as he is more independent now and he is fully bonded with you, it would be in his best interests to have more time with you and sleeping over is just a natural progression for him and one that can only enrich his life. If he has express the desire to spend more time with you tell them this too.

They will want to know about your accommodation and it would be helpful if you talk about having a room ready for him and show you are aware of using safety gates etc, it shows you have thought about his needs whilst he is with you.

They will probably ask about criminal convictions you may have, be truthful as they will make checks. Also they will ask if the social services has ever had any involvement with the family.

They may ask about you employment and things in general?

It might help to make a list of points you wish to cover and answers to hypothetical questions they might ask, be prepared!

Be friendly and open and keep it positive, and take a moment to think about your answers. Good luck!

right she has accused me of dv but i have texts from her basically proving it was actually her who was violent, we are in the process of getting divorced and the judge when he did the decree nidi rued in my favour from the evidence i provided as he said she had to pay all my divorce legal costs. i am currently living with my very supportive mam and dad and my son has his own room here we have all the stair gates ect as before all this started bout 7 months ago we were starting to let my son stay over at my mams. he sleeps in his bed for his day time naps when i have him at the moment and he is very settled here. my solicitor says the only concern is his age as he is 2 years 3 months but like i said he is very settled here. i am asking for 1 day every week and all weekend inc overnights every other weekend. i do not think this is unreasonable.

how can i explain this to cafcass without being negative about my ex or her super controlling mother.

all as i want is to continue the very good relationship i have had with my son since he was born i have always been a very hands on father and to be honest when i wasn't at work did everything with my son whilst wife sat and watched tv

Just be open about the accusations if the CAFCASS officer asks, you could mention that during the divorce the same accusations were made but you were able to prove that they weren't true and the court accepted that and awarded you costs. Try not to go off on one about it though and to mitigate it you can say something like you hope that through the court process that you and your ex can put the past behind you and work together in the interests of your son.

Cafcas phoning me tomorrow I'm so nervous!!!

Cafcas phoning me tomorrow I'm so nervous!!!

How did it go?

the lady from caffcass called she was really nice and seemed to see where i was coming from. I didn't call and said she was a good mother to our son. she had said i was a good dad and had no worries about child whilst he was in my care.

That's good. Lets hope that this can move forward smoothly now.