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Hello there
I'm new to Dad.info, so hello and apologies for only joining now I need some help ...
Briefly, I have a contact order in place to see my daughter overnight fortnightly after a lengthy and costly court case. It has been in place for around 3 years. My daughter is still quite young. The relationship between my ex and I is impossible, and there is no way we will ever have an amicable relationship or be able to discuss her welfare in a civil manner - not on my part I hasten to add.
The contact order clearly states as a condition that she should not contact me via social media, nor make derogatory comments about me. For the last few months she has made repeated and sustained attacks online that are entirely false and defamatory, and are causing me both personal distress and professional issues. My business is online and she is attacking me while including clients, prospects and people I associate with. It's a daily, problem and it is starting to take it's toll. I'm being trolled by my ex for want of a better word. She is basically attempting to ruin my reputation and business, without realising that if she is successful that it will massively impact her CSA payment!
Clearly the logical step is a C79, but I simply can't afford to keep throwing money at court when I know full well there is little real prospect of anything being done, particularly when her behaviour isn't having any effect on actual contact with my daughter - other than making pick up and drop off even more stressful than it already is. The journey is over an hour each way, and a huge round trip each fortnight after pick up, return home , drop back, and return home again. I don't claim a variation for the cost of that, even though I am fully entitled to.
I spoke to court today who informed me that all they would do on a C79 in the first instance is write to her to warn her! Given she already thinks she can do as she pleases with no consequence, that won't even register. She has already been warned by Police over her behaviour, but as she has made no physical threat there is little they can do - and I'm sure as a man they probably feel I should just man-up and deal with it. I've also looked at beginning defamation proceedings, but as she has nothing to take, there is simply no point in that either.
I really don't know what to do next or where to turn - a C79 is the only logical step, but is it worth the £225? Or should I try for a harassment order instead - but then how would that work given I need at least some contact with her?
Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated - I need this continuous abuse and harassment to stop before it's too late. I realise that ignoring the comments is the best thing to do and I have shown huge restraint so far, but it seems she isn't getting bored and giving up.
Thank you
LosingTheWill
i would class the online and social media to be harassment, the police is where i would take it especially as your court order state she is not to contact you via such ways!
the police may try to "fob you off" however they wouldn't "fobb her off" if it was the other way around.........so get in touch with the local police and express to them that she is harassing and causing you problems not just in business lost but play on the emotional impact it is having on you and your loved ones etc...
i have had the police on to me over the years for my ex making false and easily proved false claims....they just come round try to give me a warning about it and then when they saw the proof would go tell her she's wasting their time as its not harassment.....however it did take a judge to tell her in court before she gave up on that avenue of trying to get at me.
regarding the C79 is it worth it..........others may be able to help with that one....i'm a couple of weeks away from finding out if the £215.00 i've just shelled out on the C79 is going to be worth it or just another slap on her wrist telling her to not do it again.........hoping for it to be a good kick in her [censored] and a bit more in the head but i doubt she'll really listen until a judge really acts on their penalties for breaking court orders.
Thanks for the reply, the Police have already warned her but seem powerless to act and still she continues. Yes it is harassment, but they don't seem to be interested as there's no physical threat. I have reason to believe she's had access to an old email account, that I've now deleted, and that would change things, but that's almost impossible to prove - and believe me I've looked.
Maybe a non-molestation order is the way to go??
I hope yours works out, it's a £215 slap on the wrist that bothers me about starting it ... she simply won't care and let's face it, a judge isn't going to put her in prison ...
Hi there
I think you could apply for a non mol. I would also apply for it as a no notice/ex parte application. There isn't a charge for this application either and as she has breached the order for making derogatory and lets face it, distressing and damaging remarks about you and the police say they are powerless I think that will go in your favour.
Good luck
That's really helpful thank you, that's got to be worth a shot before attempting a C79.
Hopefully if it's granted the threat of arrest will be enough to get her to stop.
You'll need form FL401 to apply. Good luck.
Thank you, I found it earlier and have just begun to fill it in.
Looks like I need to prepare a statement in support - which is fine - and presumably submit the supporting evidence, of which there is plenty?
Here are the guidelines for filling the form in, just in case you didn't get it.
http://hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk/courtfinder/forms/fl700-eng.pdf
As you have to supply a witness statement to outline what is happening I would use this to state that you have supporting evidence, what that is and that you will bring it to court with you.
As you have involved the police it would be useful to get something in writing about that if you haven't already done so.
Thank you so much, If I am applying for an ex-parte hearing, should I submit the evidence with the application?
I would go in person to the court with your application form plus three copies, your witness statement and any evidence you have. If you are granted an ex parte hearing then you can ask the clerk if you should lodge your evidence there and then with your witness statement. If you don't get an ex parte then I would hold onto your evidence until the hearing, if you file it with your application you will have to give her copies of your evidence too.
...It seems that women get ex parte non mol applications granted at the drop of a hat...I'm not so sure that it will be that easy for a man as there can be gender bias, and we don't really have much experience on the forum to share with you of men applying for a non mol... can't actually think of any...but it is late!
We'll give it a go and see what happens, she know the evidence I've got so it doesn't really make any difference if she sees it before or during. She's bang to rights.
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