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Hi
Wonder if anyone has experience of a similar situation.
I have a Minute of Agreement in place. The Mother has now, on the break up of relationship, em,ailed me saying she is no longer recognising it and has offered me access of 1 night a fortnight in place. The MoA was for 50/50 access.
I have received a solicitors letters with the reason ..... not handing over party invites, school notes, child was allowed to sleep on a sofa and I dont talk to the ex much.
She decided to move out, I still live in family home wit the child elder sibling, everything is exactly the same, not one thing changed in the childs life. I brought up my other child on my own from the age of 2 as his mother had to relocate and had no support.
My ex walked out, got into a new relationship after 4 weeks, left the child with me the majority of the time, didn't phone or call to ask how the child was.
Nearly a year on everything was settled and my ex is single after a humiliating experience.
Short is she's informed me that "a mother knows best and im no longer getting more than once a fortnight"
I'm taking aright kicking here and been deprived for 2 weeks of seeing the child.
Legal advice is let her break the agreement and go to mediation.
Child is really wanting to get back home and wanting to see her brother.
Very frustrating, does anyone have experience of this. Solicitor has told me to avoid court as its not a nice experience.
Anyone experience how much the courts values the MoA or the childs wishes?
Thanks
Hi Martin
As I understand it, you have the oldest child with you, who is a half sibling to this child. You did have your other child, a son, living with you most of the time as the mother moved out and left him with you.
Did she just not return him after a contact visit?
Where are his belongings, toys etc?
Who claims the child benefit?
At what address is the child registered with the school and GP?
I'm not clear what a Minute of Agreement is, how did you obtain it, was it drafted by a solicitor or through mediation? If it was drawn up through mediation it won't be legally binding but it will show that agreement had been reached for the child to remain in the family home. If it was drafted by a solicitor I would assume it should be a legal document.
I'm afraid, if she has removed the child from his home and his sister, after he was settled in this arrangement for a year, you should proceed to court without delay! The longer you leave it, the harder it will be to get him returned. This is my opinion, but I must state here that I am not legally trained and I advise through experience only.
If the child's address is known officially as being resident with you, the child is distressed and wishes to return and he is missing his sister then you have a good chance of getting him back home....there are no guarantees though, but in my opinion you have to try.
The only thing I agree with your solicitor on is that court isn't a nice experience, it puts an enormous strain on separated parents, but there are certain circumstances where it is unavoidable.
I would consider applying for an urgent no notice Child Arrangements Order for residence. You can do this through your solicitor, or as a Litigant in Person, where you would self represent. If you chose to go it alone we will advise and support you as much as we can. There are lots of stickys at the top of the legal eagle section about self repping and the court process.
When you instruct a solicitor they are paid to advise you, but at the end of the day they are paid to take instructions from you. A solicitor that doesn't act in a proactive and forthright manner for the good of his client is failing IMO. You have the right to change solicitors or if you have confidence in your existing solicitor, to tell them what you want the to do. Some solicitors offer a free initial consultation, it might be advisable to take advantage of this to find out what other solicitors advise in your case. It's advisable to choose a solicitor that specialises in family law so look for a solicitor that is a member of Resolution or the Family Law Panel.
Good luck
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