Breaking point

Hello all.

I wanted to post an update before my next hearing.  As requested by the court order I had two samples of hair taken and sent for analysis.  I thought it would only be a few strands of hair but as I found out it's actually the diameter of a 5 pence piece.  And they took two samples, this left me with two unsightly bold patches on my head.  I am trying my best to cover these but they are very obvious.  All of this simply because my ex can make any allegations without proof and the courts simply take her word over mine.

Well, the results came back from the lab, they covered drugs that I have never even heard off.  They produced a very thorough report with results.  Not surprising it showed that I tested negative for every single drug on their list.  I know I should be happy about this but I don't feel anything.  I already knew what the results would be, I knew that I was not lying, but I still had to pay hundreds of pounds on the say so of my ex.  What's worse is I can already see what will happen at the next hearing.  Instead of being held accountable for lying and wasting everyone's time, especially the courts, the judge will simply brush this off.  This is my main gripe, women know that they can get away with such behaviour, they know that they will suffer no repercussions, and in some cases their solicitor will ever advise such behaviour.  If people who falsely accused others had a penalty to face I guarantee you that this sort of thing would not happen.  

I am still going to fight and try and get reimbursed financially for this but I know how that will go.  So for now I will keep fighting, like all good dads do.

My court stuff has cost me 30k to date and it's on going, and that's up to fact finding to date. You name it I've had it.

Here's my tips. 

1. You want a district judge over magistrates. So if u have district take it and don't miss the dates. They even made my ex pay half when I did a hair strand test upon my request.

2. Don't entertain yr wife's solicitor and respond to everything they say. That's how solicitors rack up the bill.

3. Its a long term game, play the game.

4. I got stuck in a contact centre after being accused of alcoholism. Tests come back fine. But in contact centre always ask for supervised reports as this will help u later in final hearing. If the reports are good the judge will side with you later down the line.

5. Try not to leave the family house, as the ex will screw you with finances later down line. It will be seen u was able to rehouse yrself and she cudnt.

6. Do single parenting courses early on off yr own back, it will show u made the effort without being asked to. There's also some others like child nutrition and first aid u can do.

7. When cafcass involved stay child focused, don't slagg of Yr ex. Stick to what u can do for the kids and explain it well.

Brilliant.. I did the basic 4 hour course which was useful and gives me confidemce. I'm sure the 2 day course will be great.

In relation to parenting courses, my local council provide parenting courses via family hubs.. It might be worthwhile googling parenting courses in your area and see what comes up.. They are usually geared towards new parents however still very suitable for the majority.. 

All the best..