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Previously been to court to obtain a contact order. I managed to be on good terms with ex and she agreed to me having my son 3 days a week and special occasions. This was put into the order.
Since then I had an opportunity to join the military so I took that opportunity, with the idea of a stable career rather than agency work where I'm in and out of employment all the time. I understood there would be an initial sacrafice of time with my son, but I believed the benefits for us both made that worthwhile.
Unfortunately, I was injured during training and therefore returned to my home town. When I returned, ex argued as I had been away and unable to see our son, i had breached the order and she would now dictate when I could have contact. She reduced my contact time.
She then returned it to 3 days a few weeks later, to have more time to herself.
Contact then continued as normal for a good few months until the covid outbreak where ex stopped my contact as I was a key worker and supposedly a risk to our child. Then as she was working herself this changed to as I exercised with a friend as I was endangering our child and therefore I would have to return to court if I wanted contact (her words).
I'm just a bit lost really, it seems I went through the entire court process and spent alot of money and in the end it isn't worth the paper its written on. If ex stops contact, I can't do anything other than pay more money and do the whole thing again.
Also, I do not yet have a stable career, so my shift patterns regularly change. My ex will not accommodate or communicate whatsoever, if I don't stick to the outlined days (sometimes not possible due to work). However, I always accomodate for her when she wants to change a time/day.
Just after advice really, is there much point me even doing all this again. I'm close to just giving up. If i do it all again and my shift changes, she will say I've broke the order and therefore no contact allowed etc.
hi,
this is quite common. its about your availability. don't think she understands how the order works. you would only be in breach if you take your kids and don't return them on the days/time stated in the order. my ex thinks the order is all about telling me what to do. seems hopeless trying to explain how it works. there will always be times when you may not be available, due to work commitments, illness or travel etc. court expects parents to be flexible.
all I can suggest is if she is stopping you from seeing kids on the days mentioned in the order, you can apply to court to enforce the order, or apply to have order changed. problem is whether she will ever take it seriously or not.
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