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Dear All.
13 months and counting since I seen my children, and she, shacked up with her new (old actually) Man (ex-husband, and for the SIXTH time - now with my kids in tow rather than his, who are now grown up and have availed themselves of the opportunity to get stuck in and be part of the conspiracy against me).
Having got a Non-Mol against me in in secret, at the Zimbabwe High Court (er...sorry, Crewe Family court), upon flicking through old texts of hers to me, preparing my own defence for the hugely expensive Barrister (as I cannot afford a Solicitor anymore, having been bled dry), it seems that 'somehow', one of HER texts TO me, has gone back to her. Police said, "not to worry", left it a few weeks, called, told me to be at a Police Station at a certain time, and GUARANTEED me, I was merely providing them with information, and that i WOULD ABSOLUTELY NOT need my solicitor there is I didn't want to, as I wouldn't be being arrested. Turned up at the Station, waited about for the PC to arrive, who then corralled me over to another station in a Police Convoy, like some Terrorist appearing at the High Court, was all very pleasant en route, the n upon getting out of the Car at the Station, promptly placed me under arrest. Now, that is bad enough, but then the Police Officer concerned, lied to the duty Sergeant that she was unaware of my conversation with her Inspector the night before, which was amnesic like, because she had been talking about him earlier, as she colluded to 'set me up'.
I'm not entirely surprised by anything the Police do now, but even by their lowly standards, I was set up. Kept in for 6 hours, and told I should be grateful I was even getting out rather than appearing at 'Family Court' the next day - you know...that Zimbabwe Court, who wouldn't grant me leave to appear, or even appeal the Non-Mol having been given to her in the first place. Well, now I finally get a hearing with them, because they have charged me with breaching my Non-Mol. Can you believe it. I told them the evidence that it was in fact a text she had sent me and which, possibly by my brothers kids, who were playing with my phone, was CLEARLY returned by someone hitting something (as is all to easy) on my iphone. Regardless, I am charged, she will be delighted, the Police and the Courts, all too willing partners in any mentally disturbed womans claims of Domestic Violence, that having made the original mistake of even allowing it to be granted, has now led to a myriad of call outs, attempted efforts to have me charged with this or that. Truth is, I don't go near her, I don't want to even see her. She even throws in for good measure to the Detective (yes, they even allocate Detectives now for these 'vulnerable woman') that at our CHILD CUSTODY hearing, which is what it is all about clearly (well, to me at least, but not even to 'trained detectives' apparently) that I called her an F**n B**ch and the Magistrate "told me off". Unbelievable, but the Detective is sitting there, putting that to me, and actually believes this stuff.
Needless to say, these poor underpaid, and largely ineffectual CPS people, handed down the charges, and I am to appear. Great news for more smoke and mirrors CHILD CUSTODY hearing, because what those Magistrates will hear is 'allegedly' Violent Ex, on another CHARGE". NOT, kid sends text by mistake or "Man persecuted by technicality" or 'Illogical action, not even necessarily carried out by HIM".
I am at my wits end with all of this. I am becoming what she says I was all those 13 months ago, which is angry and I dream about who I'm going to 'beyond a reasonable doubt' prove wrong first. Will it be the Police, for 'wrongful arrests', will it be the CPS, for not reviewing anything mindful of what a Woman using a system can do to a Man, will it be the Magistrates, who rather than adjourn my CHILD CUSTODY hearing for yet ANOTHER 2+ months, because her said 'claim' they simply aren't prepared (yes, they got that also), will it be her, where suddenly, a witness comes forward and says "No more, I have to tell the truth about HER", or will my kids, simply grow older, thinking their Dad is a nutter, "thank God we've got Mum"
I'm off to buy some rope........
Hi there
I do hope that you were joking about the rope... I can see this is really tough for you and I can understand your frustration and anger, but it will only make matters worse if you allow it to show with the authorities, far better to get down the gym and work out some of your anger, or if it's too much go and see your GP about how you're feeling.
Whatever you do don't contact her and don't let the kids near your phone! Take a couple of days out and try and get yourself in a better place. If you've got someone you can talk things through with that might help.
It would be a good idea to write a brief position statement to take to court with you, just a couple of pages to explain the misunderstanding, keeping it calm and reasonable without throwing accusations about...it wouldn't go down well believe me.
It might also help to attend a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area, here's a link to their website where you'll find details of meetings nationally
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings
All the best
You are of course correct, and for maybe the first YEAR of all of this, I was able to keep my cool, but ever since, it just kind of feels like persecution, and sheer idiots that I've been trying to explain stuff to that should be abundantly clear to them already. I will of course try and keep calm from here, and feel a little better right now, but one more unjust and illogical incident, and I simply cannot say with ANY certainty, how I will react. Feels like battle is lost regardless. SHE will have a 'rubbish' life, being kept by someone, but I dont care, its the influence her completely thick new/old partner, will have on my kids, who are intelligent, but will learn nothing from this imbecile, and hence they will be so like him/her, that I'm scared I won't want to know them.
I was jesting about the rope, so sorry if that alarmed, and thanks, I will attend. Nothing to lose now
...I do understand and can sympathise with your situation, I'm glad you're feeling a little better.
If another issue rears its ugly head, try and keep your cool, come on here and vent, or as I suggested before, get down the gym...some people find mediataion helpful, look into strategies to help you recognise the triggers and put these into practice when you're feeling pressured.
You might find attending the meetings will help, you'll meet others in similar situations and that might also help you to cope .
Don't give up on your kids, at least see this through to its conclusion, I've known things turn round at the last minute, there are no guarantees of course, but at least you will have done everything in your power to get things right for them.
Don't forget your kids love is unconditional and they carry your genes, it's not a given that they will turn out like anyone but themselves and I'm sure you will always be there for them, given a chance. In the meantime deal with your anger, don't get mad get busy!
All the best
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