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Hello, new to this but after some advice for my husband.
A contact arrangement is in place already, but over the years it hasn't always been stuck to as the parents have agreed on other arrangements to suit the needs at the time (they have both always agreed so there has been no need to amend the original order) Unfortunately my husband and his ex aren't able to reach an agreement going forward as she wants to stop overnight stay and replace it with a 3 hour visit after school.
my husband has requested to go back to the original court order but so far she has refused (with no real reason other than 'why should I do you any favours?')
Is she in breach of the original contact order?
Other than going back to court is there a way we can rectify this, my husband has tried to resolve the situation but after almost 3 weeks it looks unlikely.
Hi there
An order shouldn't be set in stone forever and as a child grows and becomes more independent, flexibility is sometimes needed to fit around activities and family events. What the order does is set a minimum really, and if she's trying to reduce contact and take away overnight stays, as stated in the order, then she is in breach and your husband can apply to the court for enforcement.
If she is refusing to comply with the order then his options are limited I'm afraid , but I can suggest that he writes formally to the mother and reminds her that the existing court order is legally binding and if she refuses to reinstate contact as stipulated in the order, and is intent on such a reduction of their time together, he will not hesitate to apply to the court to have the order enforced.
He should remain civil but firm and state that whilst court should be avoided if at all possible, it's not in their child's best interests to have their contact time reduced in this way, and if he hasn't heard back from her within 7 days with her agreement, he will take action through the courts without delay.
However, he could instruct a solicitor to write to her, if he felt that it might have more of an impact.
Thank you for your quick response and advice.
Unfortunately, even after my husband reached out with a letter reminding his ex of the order, the consequences of not abiding with It and how what she is proposing isn't in the best interest of the child, she has continued to ignore the order and has made it clear she has no intention of complying.
My husband has made a C78 application (not sure how long this will take or what the process is? but it was needed before he can apply to enforce anything should he still need to). We are hopeful that once the warning is on the order she will see my husband is quite serious about the matter and then maybe further court appearances can be avoided.
How long ago was the order made & did it not have a warning notice attached then?
It was made in the November 2008 so there wasn't a warning notice attached.
Ah, so how old are the children?
Just the one, my step son is 11.
He's always more than happy when he spends time with his dad, frustrating that after all this time things can't be sorted amicably for his sake.
I just wanted to check as the order was made almost 10 years ago that the child wasn't approaching 16.
It must be very frustrating and it's a shame for your stepson that it has come to this. Hopefully the C78 application shouldn't take too long and then you can apply to enforce. A few hours of contact after school isn't really adequate to provide father and son with a meaningful relationship.
Is the mother giving any reasons for this reduction? Is she blaming the child at all or just treating contact like a favour?
Has correspondence been kept in writing or has it been verbal? It's probably a good idea to keep it written where possible in case you end up in protracted proceedings where you would need file evidence.
We are hoping so too!
Good news for us is that all correspondence is in writing so everything she's said has been documented.
When the situation first arose the only reason she gave to not complying was 'why should i do you any favours?' And 'I don't have to do anything, I'm not stopping you seeing him' (even though the order specifically states overnight stays)
Once she received the letter she changed tactic and stated that it is my step son who doesn't want to come as he likes to spend the weekends with his friends. My husband understands this which is why he's suggested every other (as stated in court order) so he still gets quality time with his son and he can still have time with his friends. (Just worth mentioning that in the past if his son has had anything on that he wanted to attend my husband has always moved contact so she knows that he is flexiable and he wouldn't miss out on anything)
We feel she may be trying to put him off by telling him he won't be able to spend time with his friends anymore. She doesn't seem to understand that a relationship with his dad is equally as important as a relationship with his friends.
See how it goes for now and if it gets to the point that they're in court and she's blaming the son, I think your husband would be able to demonstrate that he is flexible and would be quite within his rights to ask the court to take his son's wishes and feelings if the mother won't agree to re start the contact.
Just a quick update and thanks for your advice.
unfortunately despite trying to sort things with the ex, my husband did end up back in court last week. we made an application for a C78 but a few days before the court date appointed, his ex partner applied to have the original order varied and date was pushed back another month (which meant no access to stepson for months, including over Christmas, Frustrating!!)
anyway long story short, in court my husband got everything he had been asking his ex for (and more!) as court made clear to her what he was asking for was more than reasonable and now its all on a new contact arrangement with warning notice attached (which hopefully we wont need!). Contact is ordered to resume immediately, starting back this week.
this site and forums have been invaluable to us! π :cheer:
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