Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi, I got divorced last August and have a consent order in place to pay my ex £350 a month spousal maintenance on top of £350 for my 15 year old son. She doesn't need it cos she earns more than me, but it I agreed. Anyway, next month I am losing £300 out of my pay packet due to strike pay being taken out. I spoke to a solicitor and she suggested I write to me ex and tell her I will have to pay her £300 less in February, but I will pay her back £100 a month for the following 3 months. I have done this , sent two letters abs received vile letters and voicemails in return. She says I will be in breach of the consent order and she will immediately apply to court with a D11 to get the arrears paid. I know I will be in breach, but I simply won't have the money to survive e next month if I don't do this. My solicitor says the judge would simply order me to pay the arrears but I've already said I will do this, so my solicitor says the judge will be angry with my ex for taking it to court. My ex says I can be fined and go to prison. She also says ill have to pay her court costs. She then says she'll apply to have all future payments taken from my wages at source. Can she do this? Will I have to pay her costs even though I've already told her ill pay the arrears and how? Or should I just borrow the money to pay her as usual and suffer myself in silence? Any advice? I've paid her for 2 1/2 years in total, mostly voluntary payments until last August when the consent order was finalised. I've paid from £1500 to £700 a month, never less and I've never missed a payment. Please help. Thank you
I think your solicitor is quite correct in that the court will ask you to pay arrears at a reasonable rate, especially as you have already volunteered to do this. I would have a word with your solicitor and ask, if she goes back to court, whether there is any chance you could apply to have the spousal maintenance reduced since she is earning more than you - if so, it actually might all work to your advantage.
Thanks for your reply. I am applying separately to have my payments reduced because I've since learnt she had a considerable pay rise before the divorce was settled and she didn't tell me or the court. What I am most worried about is whether I'll have to pay her court costs because if that's the case I'd rather just struggle and not breach the order. I don't want to breach it but if it ends up costing me hundreds in her solicitor fees I can't afford that at all. Thanks again for your help.
Again, your solicitor will know the likelihood of you having to pay her costs, but if you are looking to vary the order on the basis that she has withheld information from the court (and in fact, I would check whether she has made a false declaration to the court), then I would have thought it is unlikely.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.