[Solved] Breach of Child Arrangements Order

I would try mediation, simply because it's someone neutral, It will cost you for the sessions, but it's cheaper than going back to court if you think there is a chance of success. So, it may be worth writing to your ex along the lines that you would like to try to resolve this without going back to court if possible and asking if she would be prepared to try mediation.

A mediator has already contacted her and asked her to attend mediation but she’s refused.

Dear xxxxxx

I’m writing to you in the hope that we can find some way to resolve the current situation with regard to contact with our son xxxxx.

I don’t believe its in anyone’s interests to rush back to court to enforce the existing court order, without exploring all possible solutions first.

I had hoped that you would agree to mediation, so that we could discuss the issues and find a way forward. The offer is still on the table, but having had no contact with xxxx for the last three months, the offer can’t stand indefinitely. If we can’t start a constructive dialogue in the near future, I feel I will have no alternative but to commence proceedings for enforcement.

I believe that with more encouragement, xxxxx would wish to re establish our contact as a family and I would like to suggest that we start with some form of indirect contact, to start the ball rolling. Would this be something that you could agree To and assist with?

I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this matter, with suggestions on how we might move this issue forward. However, if you choose not to respond and I haven’t heard from you within the next two weeks, I will have no choice but to commence legal proceedings without further notice. I sincerely hope this won’t be necessary.

Regards

Xxxxx.

Great response Mojo, is just be wary of indirect contact, there’s no evidence that it works, and it could be used as a way of delaying things.

Also keep in mind that there is a good chance this letter will later be read by a CAFCASS officer and judge/magistrate. By conceding to indirect contact you could be seen as admiting that it is necessary and weakening your legal position.

I take your point superprouddad, but he’s not getting any contact and hasn’t for three months. If it went to court and the child expressed the wish not to see him, indirect contact may be all thats put on the table.

Perhaps, to be more specific, at paragraph 4, after .....start the ball rolling. A further sentence to state that after a couple of phone calls to break the ice, you would expect contact to resume as normal.

I don’t think this letter could be interpreted in any other way than as a genuine attempt to find a solution, most courts would look at that favourably.

My letter is just an example, it can be added to, or parts taken from it... it’s a rough draft if you like.

All the best

Thanks for both of your replies.

I think the reason my son isn’t seeing me is because he’s being discouraged to and I would hope that even if he told the court that he didn’t want to see me, they would look into this further as when he’s with me he has a lovely time.

For example, when I have turned up to pick him up, my eldest son has told me that his brother is not coming because he’s just been bought a new computer game!

My youngest son has seen me on one occasion in three months and this was due to a family member seeing him by chance and encouraging him - which shows that when he’s encouraged he’s happy to come.

I don’t think the amount of time that he hasn’t seen me is necessarily an issue, as when he saw me on the above ocassion he was full of beans and happy to see me.

The problem is the ex won’t correspond with me in a constructive manner, as she doesn’t want me to have any contact with the children.

I think I am probably flogging a dead horse by sending a letter but I have to at least try and would prefer to avoid court.

The dilemma I have is whether I do it myself (as I’m struggling to know what to write and takes anything I say the wrong way) or get a solicitor to do it.

I think at this point, you can either send a letter as Mojo has suggested, or get your solicitor to send one indicating your intention to return to court.

The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to re-establish contact.

If you apply for enforcement, either she will realise she needs to support your relationship and work with you or she'll dig her heels in and Cafcass will likely speak with the children to ascertain their wishes and feelings.

Best of luck

Thanks. Just need to decide whether to send it myself or get a solicitor to and keep it at arms length as she’s very hostile towards me and I suspect she will dig her heels in!

There's no harm paying for a one off solicitors letter, it might have more effect than you writing to her.