Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hello, I wonder if anyone can offer any advice for a friend who is just about to begin representing himself in order to resume contact with his child. His relationship broke up quite soon after the child was born and for a year after that he was the main carer ...coming to the house every day to look after the child while the mother was at work. This situation broke down and the mother denied him contact. He believed that if he let the situation calm down , she would relent, however she continued to refuse contact, even when members of his family tried to intercede on his behalf. He did not qualify for legal aid and was worried about beginning legal proceedings he could not afford. Her stated intention was to remove him from the child's life. He lost contact with his child for over a year. In April 2013 he tried to rectify the situation, setting up a bank account for his son and making regular financial contributions. He informed her of this but she did not respond. He wrote to her requesting contact but she did not respond to these letters either. She told a family member over the summer that she had no intention of letting him resume contact and that she would be able to achieve this. He has finally decided to represent himself in court. He knows he has to attempt mediation before beginning court proceedings but is fairly sure she will not respond. Can he begin the mediation process by attending the first session himself and inviting her to do so also, and submit the C100 form at the same time? Obviously he would not be able to attach the FM1 to the C100 but, in the likely event that she would refuse to attend mediation, could he submit the FM1 separately, before any court date?
Also, can any one advise on how the court is likely to view the period when he did not see his child. I don't think it was because he didn't care about being a father but more that he was trying to avoid confrontation and that he genuinely believed that she would be able to stop him seeing the child. There is no history of violence or anything untoward, in fact his difficulty is more that he is too accepting rather then being aggressive or confrontational. He sent cards and letters but did not make a financial contribution over this period. Thanks for your help
Hi there,
Mediation is the accepted first step, if your friend attends at the mediation appointment, the mediator will then invite the mother to attend. She will have 14 days to respond or refuse and after that your friend will be issued with the FM1.
He could submit the C100 and then submit the FM1 after, as long as he also sends a copy to the mother or her solicitor and a copy to CAFCASS, and keeps a copy for himself.
If he explains to the court that the mother had consistently refused him contact and that he wasn't aware that he had the right to apply for contact, but as soon as he found this out he has applied.
Child support payments and contact are two completely separate issues and one does not guarantee the other....he can however use the opening of the bank account to show the court his commitment to his child.
If he has copies of the letters or any other contact he has made with the mother he should keep them and begin a file as this will be helpful during the court proceedings.
Will add quickly, get your friend to have a look at the sticky topics at the top of the legal eagle on self-representing, may help him quite a lot.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.