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Hi fellow dads. I've been served with a non-mol and am subject to a second hearing because my wife did not attend the first and I contested. She really wants me to accept it so she can avoid the court hearing. What I am concerned about is that I cannot see any wording to suggest I cannot go back home or talk to her(nicely). Please can you have a look - I have typed out all the relevant passages
1. Use or threaten any violence towards xxxxxxxxxxxx
2. Threaten, intimidate, harass or verbally abuse xxxxxxx in any way
3. Send any threatening or abusive letters, emails, text or voicemail messages to xxxxxxxxx
4. Make any threatening or abusive telephone calls to xxxxxxxxxxx
5. Damage or attempt to damage or threaten to damage any property belonging to xxxxxxxx or jointly owned by the parties
6. Damage or attempt to damage or threaten to damage any of the contents of yyyyyyyyyyy
7. The respondent is also forbidden to instruct or encourage any other person to do anything which he is forbidden to do by the terms of this order.
My wife doesn't want me to speak to her still. However I have two kids who really miss me and all my belongings are at home.
I don't want to get on the wrong side of the law and get arrested. Can I go back home safely based on the above terms?
Hi there
Whilst it doesn't state that you're not to return home, it would be strange for that not to be the case.
Can you use a trusted third party to communicate with her, or perhaps approach one of her family members, just to ask after the children and collect some of your belongings?
When is the next hearing, I would imagine it's fairly soon. You can submit a further application to the existing proceedings, to ask for a Child Arrangements Order for contact with your children. It's likely that it won't be dealt with until the non mol is resolved, but it will save time. You can also ask the judge if you can arrange for your belongings to be collected.
If you're innocent of the allegations she has made, its in your interests to contest the NMO. If it stands it will make it harder to get contact in place, although not impossible, you'll just have to jump through a few more hoops.
You could also call the court and ask them to clarify if the non mol prohibits your from returning to the family home.
All the best
Thank you Mojo for the quick reply. I guess it doesn't contain a not return home order because it's a marital property.
There's no issue with contact whatsoever and I can get belongings via a family member but I have a lot of work docs/business docs/etc I don't really want anyone else to peek through.
I am innocent of the allegations but she did get hurt due to an accident involving me. One of the requests she made through a mutual friend is that I accept the non-mol so that she doesn't have to drag me through the dirt in courts - and she doesn't want to go through the stress.
As far as I've read, the non-mol only contains things I shouldn't do anyway so was going to accept it to get back in her good books - worst case she leaves me anyway. Contesting it would only just cause more angst.
It's a great idea to ask the courts directly if non-mol prohibits me from returning home. I may ask a solicitor to have a quick look too.
Could you arrange via the family member for her to vacate the property at a given time, to allow you to go and retrieve your documents etc?
If you feel that there's a chance to reconcile, I can understand that you wouldn't want to muddy the waters further.
Perhaps you could ask the court to accept an undertaking, without admitting guilt, suggesting that neither of you wants to drag it out any further... you could get your mutual friend to speak to your wife about accepting an undertaking, explaining that it will bring closure without having it drag through court.
If she doesn't want to drag you through the dirt in court, an undertaking would avoid that, but the conditions would still form a part of the undertaking. If contact is ongoing, it might also help to have something in the undertaking/order that allows for contact with her where it concerns the children, for making arrangements and in emergencies.. that kind of thing.
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