Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi everyone, I've spent many an hour trawling posts on here reading about other dads in similar positions to me, and am now seeking some advice/confirmation on what I'm doing!
Basically - ex wife left in 2013, left little boy with me, and has contact with him. Then one day she refused to bring him home and that is where all this starts. 9 weeks without seeing him, I applied for residence through my solicitor - so did she. Both applications heard together, CAFCASS prepared section 7 report.. child Arrangements order made child lives with mother, contact with me (in 2014). She tried to change his school and I applied specific issue , and school remained the same.
Mother then breached order, ceased all contact, I applied to enforce and she applied to vary order and specific issue to change school (she was moving 45 mins away). I agreed to change his school and him to move and she agreed to reinstate contact.
Mother then ceased contact again, making allegations I was mentally unwell (this has been a recurring allegation by the way). I enforced, while she applied to reduce contact. Matter transferred to dristrict judge, who ordered psychological assessment on me, mother and son. Her claims were obviously unfounded but the psychologist reported she had issues wanting to control contact, felt her new partner meant son didn't need strong relationship with me, and she struggled to put sons interests before her own. That judge then left the case due to her attitude after telling her exactly what he thought of her, and new judge made current order.
2016, mother stole my dog, (which upset little boy) gave her away, was trying to force me to arrange contact through her new partner who was being completely inappropriate toward me. She blocked my email address, I had asked her that we reduce notice for Teatime /after school contact to a fortnight instead of a month because I couldn't get my rota that far ahead and little boy was losing contact as the mother refused any dates even one day short of a months notice! (No other reason!)
She refused to agree so I applied to vary the order and in said application said if she doesn't agree then I'll seek residency as she will be acting against what is in child's best interest. In her response to application filed to court she called my application meritless and asked court to apply a barring order (they didn't even bring it up).She agreed to reduce notice,magistrates told her contact is priority and not to involve her partner. (This was December 2016)
So now - she broke two weekend contacts without decent reasons, has fabricated a statement within the order to stop me collecting little boy from school on Friday and refuses Teatime contact for any old reason. First breach I wrote to her solicitor saying she's reaching already only a month after court and if it continues I'll go back and he said he would advise her to apply for a barring order to prevent me making further "vexatious" applications!
Each time she refused contact/failed to bring him I tried reasoning/tried offering alternatives/reminded her of the order and her role in supporting contact. To no avail.
In June I wrote to her asking her to please give me positive confirmation she will comply with the order and address my concerns in the letter. She of course ignored the letter, but attempted to unilaterally change summer holiday contact and told me not to contact her on the matter of non-compliance again.
So I've applied to enforce the order for the third time!
(Sorry for the giant paragraph I tried to keep it quick)
Basically my stance is she's had plenty of chances to prove she can support sons relationship with me. I want to ask the court to consider immediate or suspended change of residence. I think prison, a fine or community service only serves to make things worse for our son, and honestly believe living with me will give him the best possible chance of growing up allowed to enjoy full relationships with both parents.
What's the best way to go about this? I've just had the application back and about to serve her solicitor, should I file a position statement to court and her solicitor? I've also written a sheet detailing which school I would move son to and contact proposals (more generous and laid back than she currently allows!) my position statement contains an as brief as possible history, current concerns and request to the court!
Any suggestions, wisdom or advice would be much appreciated!
Oh I represented myself to vary order and am representing myself to enforce now after forking out 40k for orders continually broken 🙂
To me, it looks as though you are doing everything correctly already - I would contact the Corams childrens legal centre and get some free legal advice, but, if you haven't already, take a look at the Rebecca Minnock case - yours sounds a lot like that and I think that could give you some pointers, though that was helped by an enlightened judge. It might be worth looking at this - http://www.bristollawsociety.com/newsletter-from-his-honour-judge-stephen-wildblood-qc/
Hi here
As said, I think you've behaved appropriately and hopefully you will get a judge that understands and will handle the case firmly and fairly.
I wouldn't file your position statement prior to the hearing, but take it with you On the day, asking for it to be put before the judge as soon as you arrive. Have copies for the other party and CAFCASS and a copy for your records, always giving the original copy to the court.
The position statement needs to be brief, no more than a couple of pages, don't attach the additional sheet with proposals/contact schedule, but you can comment in your position statement that you have prepared it and have it with you if the court wishes to have sight of it. (Have extra copies of that too, if the court asks to see it, you will need to give the other party a copy.)
You could more or less just copy what you have written here, numbering each paragraph, it explains what has happened and wha youwould like the court to do....job done.
We will of course advise and support you as much as we can.
All the best
Thank you Mojo and actd - for replying 🙂
I have read about the Minnock case and the newsletter, very informative reading, thank you! The ex in my case sounds quite similar to Rebecca Minnock!
I didn't realise I could take the position statement to court on the day, I will do that! Ex has to submit a statement response to my application to myself and court by end of this month, will be interesting to see what she comes up with to try and justify her actions this time.. given her constant rubbish reasons for refusing contact when it suits her, I think I have a strong case in this application alone, then there's all the history of previous applications for enforcement and her frustrating contact! I've decided I'm going to ask the court to change residence rather than ask for suspended, I think l the court and I have given her enough chances to make an effort for our son. I'll also say that if she messes about with his contact again after this case I'll be seeking residence anyway so then it's up to court to decide!
Best of luck with it, if you need anything further, please don't hesitate to ask.
Well I had the papers back and the hearing has been listed, the respondent was ordered to submit a statement to myself and Court in response to the application but the date given for her to do this by has been! Short of phoning the Court and asking if they have received anything is there anything I can do?
She did this when I applied to vary the application last year, problem is I want to have enough time to appropriately prepare for any nonsense she may put in this statement. I know the papers were definitely served on her solicitor as I used recorded and signed for delivery so I have proof of delivery! :huh:
I would give the court a call to check, at least you know that way.
As actd has said, call the court and ask if they have received her statement as the date for filing has passed. You could also try contacting her solicitor to state that as you are Litigant in Person, all court paperwork should be sent to you directly and ask for a copy of their clients statement of response to the application that was requested by the court. You could remind them that late filing could result in anything she wishes to rely upon in her statement not being allowed to be used. I would put this in writing/email and copy in the court.
All the best
Agree with Mojo and actd on all of the above.
Hopefully the court will recognise the harm the mother is doing to the relationship between father and child and take some stronger steps this time. I think what you have written to us is an execllent basis for a short position statement.
Don't worry too much about whether she files a statement or not. Due to the nature of the application you are making, nothing is going to be decided at the first heairng and the likely next steps will be a Section 7 Report anyway.
If she brings up a load of false allegations on the day, what I would suggest asking for is rather than filing your full statements on the same day, I would ask for her to file first and for you to be given permission to respond 14 days later.
Had her response statement at long last, and as suspected is full of nonsense.
Its 5 pages long! If I wanted to write a response to her statement, this would have to be separate from the position statement but I don't want to annoy Court by submitting statements when they haven't given asked for them.
Should I go ahead and submit my position statement on the day and wait and see if Court want a finding of fact hearing etc? OR should I form my response to her rubbish allegations and have it ready on the day of hearing?
Shes yet again making requests to Court for barring orders even though every application I've ever made has been for very good reason :huh:
How long is your position statement? You could add a further paragraph addressing the most important points in her statement, or you can write to the court and ask for permission to file a response to her statement. You can still submit your position statement on the day of the hearing, as long as it's contained within a couple of pages, with no attachments you are not required to have permissssion to file it, as you would with other types of statement.
Try not to get too wound up in her all her accusations and calls for barring orders, just concentrate on your own case and let her carry on with herself....her solicitor should be advising her better!
All the best
My position statement is currently two sides long, although I have not formatted it to double spacing yet, about 1/3 of the first page is taken up with the "..in the case of...between..applicant and ...respondent, then its brief history (as brief as possible) then a very short section on current concerns and a second very short section on request to court.
Given the length of her statement and her accusations, assumptions she is treating as fact and that she is outright denying the breaches I think in this case requesting permission to file a response is maybe better - if I am granted permission would I then be able to file documents as evidence with it? (E.g solicitor letter, times when contact was prevented)?
I'll try not to focus too much on what she alleges and will aim to keep it child focused, she has actually asked court to dismiss the application altogether so I think filing a response might be best!
Is it simply writing a letter addressed to the court or is it to the judge?
Thanks so much for your help Mojo!
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.