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HI Everyone, brief outline of my life! I have a 6 year old boy with my ex who I see everyother weekend (fri 5pm -sun 6pm) and 2 hrs on a Wednesday after school, no agreement in place its just a court order she has with her ex husband and 2 kids which I follow.
She refuses to speak to me about having more time and will just change things every now and again with short notice, then on the other hand I sometimes have him longer on a Wednesday for example as she is busy which of course I don't mind.
I applied to mediation a month back and had my MIAM, they sent her the letter to come and have her MIAM however she has ignored it (which has surprised me as she has been through this process before with her previous relationship) so my next step is court, i'm normally very confident in my abilities however this is new ground for me.
I'm proposing that instead of 5pm on Friday of my weekend, that I just pick him up from school (at 5pm the traffic is so bad were stuck in the car for an hour, something I have told her but she wont change) and I also have him on the sunday night so I can take him to school.
I changed my career last year to be self employed to be able to work around my son and be there whenever he needs me, hence it will be easier for me to take him to school etc.
The other change is on the Wednesday, at the moment when its her weekend, I don't see him for over a week (until the Wednesday after) I find this is too much for both of us to not see each other, so I want to propose having him Wednesday overnight every week and on her weekend I also have the Thursday overnight and my weekend I have him on the Tuesday over night in addition to the Wednesday so
week 1 wed, thurs
week 2 tues, wed and my weekend
Is this possible? does anyone else have success at that? I think its fair? It also gives me opportunity to take him to after school sports activities etc whereas at the moment she wont allow me to do that (believe it or not she is a PE teacher!) so I can only fit swimming lessons in on a Wednesday in the 2hrs I have him (which he loves!)
I will represent myself in court, this has been going around my head for 3 years (since we split) so I feel quite prepared on the prospect of court however any advice would be helpful.
Thanks in Advance
I made my first application to the court yesterday - my case seems to be a lot more complicated than yours. I'd had the help of a group called PSU for filling in the forms and an urgent hearing was requested for the next day, which I wasn't expecting.
When I arrived there were already lots of people milling around at 10am. There's a security desk where you are scanned and an applications desk to file your forms. I did that and was told where to go. I arrived in a large room with approx 100 people and several doors on each side which led to different court rooms, each attended by a different judge.
I was eventually called in to a room with a large desk and several chairs (about 20) and met the judge who was sat at her own desk at the top of the room. It was more like a conference room than the idea I had of a court-room with rows of chairs and a witness and jury area.
The judge I spoke to was a woman who was very friendly and seemed intelligent - she had been doing the job for over 30 years and had probably seen everything there was to see. She had apparently spent 10 minutes before I was called in to read my application.
I was told how things would progress from this point and now await to hear from cafcass and social services which could take up to four weeks. It really wasn't as bad as I expected. Just be calm and as reasonable as possible and you'll be ok.
Thanks for the reply, well that sounds OK, to be fair and bizarrely I went with her to her previous court appearances for the other kids and yours sounded the same, I'm just really surprised she has bypassed the mediation as I've read it doesn't look good if you have?
And I've just loaded my old laptop up and all her notes are on there for her court appearance! Ironic really.
My ex also didn't appear at mediation, has been late bringing my children to the contact centre, not bothered at all or only brought one of my children if not both. I really think by the time it gets to court it doesn't make any difference at all. The more I experience of this separation business the more I'm starting to realise that there is a whole political agenda which is more important to the people involved than the happiness of the children and estranged parents involved. I've recently spoken to someone who said it will make the slightest difference in that it may sway the judges opinion in your favour but only moderately.
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