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In short, I have been separated for going on 2 years now. I have a 3 year old boy. He lives with me 3 days a week and has done for as long as i can remember. Its very much something he is used to and very much likes it here with me. My relationship with his mother is amicable. However, as we are coming up to finalising our divorce, we need to complete a statement of arrangement for our son.
His mother is adamant that she doesn't want a shared residency order - she isn't clear on her reasoning for this and wants to be the main parent. I am very much in favour of shared residency as it places her and I on an even keel and safe guards my son's relationship with me.
I understand that if she is the 'main' parent then she can dictate how often he sees me - given the circumstances of how she and I broke up, I cannot trust her with this and feel that a shared residence order is in the best interest of my son; his relationships with both his mother and I, as well as his overall stability and wellbeing.
Given that she is so opposed, I am seeking some advice on how best to deal with this.
Many thanks in advance,
Hi there
I think you would need to apply for a Shared Residence Order through the family court, I doubt the judge in the divorce proceedings could issue one, although I don't know that for sure.
Again I'm not sure how enforceable an arrangement made for contact is in the context of divorce proceedings. I would advise getting some legal advice on this.
In the meantime I would put your arguments for shared residence in the statement that you have been asked to complete. There's lot of research on the web about shared residence and you could use this to back up your argument. I can't see a court reducing you contact and it might be that your current arrangement will be written into the divorce agreement. I'm sure it will be a legally binding document even if it isn't a quite a Shared Residence Order.
Sorry I can't be more definitive but divorce proceedings aren't my strong point
This is very helpful, many thanks 🙂
NannyJane is right - the child residence issue is separate from your divorce proceedings.
You mention your son "lives" with you 3 days a week - is there any overnight stays?
You would need to decide what you want to apply for -
* Shared residency order (shared parenting; in decision making process & overnight stays with your child (does not have to be 50/50 in equal time)
or
* contact order (with an agreed schedule for contact where you are the non-resident parent)
Think your application for one of the above can be applied using same C100 Form - lots of sticky posts on this forum to help you.
But before you go down the court front - try & sort this out amicably with ex - trust me (read some other posts) - things normally get nasty...3 days per week is a miracle for some guys here...
Have a think & read some other posts...
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