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1) XXXXXXX, findings state there was no controlling behaviour toward XXXXXX from me. I was significantly involved in the care of XXXXX and was a significant figure in XXXXXs life. Cross examination of me by XXXXX quite clearly illustrated that the majority of XXXXX’s concerns are perceptual rather than factual.
2) All elements of The Welfare Checklist have been satisfied in this case.
3) Contact has progressed as per order made on XXXXXX. No problems. XXXXXX seem happy, content with a growing attachment with me which has been observed by CAFCASS.
4) XXXXX, CAFCASS Section 7 Report recommends shared care of XXXXX on an equal basis and further consideration with regard to XXXXX.
5) The only factor preventing a resolution to this case is XXXXXX’s hostility. Until this is addressed, the emotional wellbeing of the children will continue to be at risk. This situation has remained unchanged since XXXXX 2015.
6) In the case of XXXXX, I firmly believe that the very close bond she has with her mother (which is something to be admired and recognised) leads to a position where she has and will continue to be influenced by her mother’s emotional state. I believe XXXXX is unaware of the impact this is having on XXXXX. I believe that once she is aware, she will address the issue.
7) In the case of XXXXX, it is impossible to accept that XXXXX will not be affected by both XXXXX and XXXXX in so far as their relationship with me will be something which is discouraged. This could have long term and devastating consequences for XXX XXXX XXXX and I.
8 Indirect contact with XXXX is only viable if we are able to accept that XXXXX is actually seeing the letters sent to her. At present, we only have XXXXX’s word that this is the case. Regrettably, this cannot be relied upon at the moment.
9) The CAFCASS Section 2 letter and subsequent Section 7 report are only unreliable in so far as XXXXX misled CAFCASS. She has also misled the Court and the police from the outset. Decisive action is necessary to prevent any reoccurrence.
10) I wish to actively work towards a point where XXXXXX can dispel her concerns and accept that she must freely allow the children to enjoy a meaningful relationship with me. Once this has been achieved, as a separated family, we will be perfectly able to parent these children together.
REQUEST
11) Implement CAFCASS recommendations regarding XXXXX.
12) Order telephone or video contact between XXXX and I, weekly, 10 minutes at a time.
13) Order face to face mediation or family counselling.
14) Issue a Prohibited Steps Order to ensure neither party relocates.
15) Consider this hearing to be a final hearing and cancel the hearing scheduled for XXXX. I do not believe that hearing would provide the Court with any useful or relevant information and will simply serve to prolong the conflict.
Hi there
I'll take each bullet point as you have numbered them to respond...
1). Instead of saying cross examination it would be better to say ..." When I was interviewed by xxxxx it became clear......
5). I have to ask if this point is necessary at all... If you want this included it might be better to say something along the lines of .....Our children's well being is of the utmost importance to me and it is hoped that the current difficulties between xxxxxx and I can be resolved and that we can move forward and work together to provide the children with a loving and secure environment in which to grow.
6). There is a very close bond between xxxxx and xxxxxx and the difficulties of the last few months have unfortunately taken their toll on the bond that we once shared. This is not a criticism of xxxxxxxx and it is my firm belief that once xxxxxx gains insight she will address this, which will allow the situation to settle down.
7). Again I read this as a negative and ask is its inclusion necessary?
8. instead of talking about the indirect contact in this way, perhaps you could say something like...
Indirect contact via letter is viable and it would ibe helpful to xxxxxxxx if this could be arranged and letters delivered to xxxxxxx by a third party such as CAFCASS or a social worker, who could also sit with xxxxxxx whilst the letter is read and perhaps offer her support to understand any feelings as a result.
9). I'd leave this out too.
15). Not sure about this unless you get a final order, but you could request a review hearing in six months time so that the court can see that things are progressing.
It's very difficult without knowing the details of your case to give a balanced opinion on your statement, but I've given my thoughts with regard to avoiding comments that might be construed as contentious or may give an impression of having ill feeling towards the mother, which is never a good idea.
Thank you Mojo,
I do find myself having to step back at times and I understand your points fully.
This is a case which has been running for 8 months now. The mother cried "abuse" from day one and the police became involved.
From that point on it seemed everything she said was believed without question although I've worked hard with the police, CPS, CAFCASS and various agencies to clear my name and make some of these people actually look at evidence rather than base their actions and opinions on the word of one person. Substantial progress has been made there.
We can to a Fact Finding recently where I was up against a barrister who clearly thought she had enough to bury me. Within ten minutes of her cross examining me she began to sweat and stutter. I knocked down almost every point she made and whilst I don't want to gloat (this is about my children, nothing else), I blew her out of the water.
In summing up it was stated that the mother had lied from the outset and caused harm to the children and I through half a year of contact denial.
The fact finding disproved everything she has against me.
I didn't seek any "facts" - I pretty much said in my position statement that I want us to put the past behind us and get on with being parents.
The other party was told she was hostile and begrudging in her evidence (I cross examined her quite calmly).
I am taking your changes on board, it really is tough to see the conflict when you are in the middle of it.
We have a step child and two children together. The potential for alienation within that family group concerns me greatly. Also losing contact with the stepchild would absolutely not be in the childs best interests.
Very complex case and situation to be honest, I will PM you with the finer detail and see if that changes any of your thoughts.
Thank you though, it really has helped me to hone in on the negatives and get this right.
If you'd like to PM me I'll try and help.
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