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Hi all,
First time poster here, and just after a bit of advice.
I split up with my ex-partner about 5 months ago, and left the home we were both renting to decamp back to my parents ( not a great look for a 28 yr old ). For the last 5 months I have been seeing my 2 children twice a week and supporting them financially, but the amicable relationship between me and my ex partner has become more and more fragile with every visit. this has further resulted in no contact at all in the last few weeks.
It all started when a few weeks after I left, she had me removed from the tenancy agreement on the property, and was very reluctant to let me enter her house. I have no criminal record, never taken drugs, gambled, or had any history of violence with her' I just could not get my head around why she was so reluctant to let me in her home. Either way I still persevered to do the best by my children and see them every week as scheduled.
Around January my ex partner discovered that she would need an operation on the 15th march for diskaryosis (abnormal cell changes) and would need to have stomach tissue removed. this meant that she would not be able to move around and do things herself properly for up to 6 weeks while she recovers. This has resulted with her moving to Newquay with her parents and taking my 2 children to live with her. (I live in Birmingham).
A brief summary would be then that, I have had no contact regarding my children for the last 2 weeks. they have been removed from their school in Birmingham, and have the assumption that they have been put into a school in Newquay. I have parental responsibility as my name is on both birth certificates, so should of my ex-partner legally notified me of deciding what school they go to? I have also noted that my son has received medical treatment without my notification or consent. I'm not out to legally bury my ex partner, as I do want things to be amicable for the welfare of the children. but surely she has breached some of my legal rights as a parent? and moving them half way across the country with no contact at all has put me in a desperate situation at the moment.
I am seeing a solicitor regarding this for the first time this coming week, but really feel like I should of seeked legal advice a long time ago. Please if anyone can advise on legal rights or even familiarise themselves with this scenario then please offer advice.
many thanks
Andrew
Hi there 🙂
You are right, as you have PR you should be kept informed of any changes of school or health issues.
As your ex has changed schools is her move down to Newquay permanent?
There isnt a great deal you will be able to do about the breaches of your PR realistically. Your solicitor can write to her and point out that you should have been informed and ask her to keep you informed in the future. The solicitor could ask her to agree to making the children available for contact, if there were room at your parents you could ask for contact to be over a full weekend once or twice a month and also a full week at Easter and two weeks during the summer. I think a reduction of child support can be made for travelling costs to see your children for anything above £15. Theres a sticky at the top of the Legal Eagle section called "How does the CSA calculate payments" There should be information there about that.
Its far from ideal for you but apart from moving down to Newquay, your options are limited I'm afraid.
Thank you for the fast response,
Yes the move to Newquay is permanent, and I honestly am beside myself with grief. I know a lot of people would think I'm being silly but 2 weeks is the longest I've ever spent away from my children. Before myself and my ex-partner split I spent every day doting over them, and now to not even know exactly where they are' I seriously think its affecting me mentally. She has not even provided an address for where she is moving, or a contact number.
I was naive within this whole scenario, up until the last meeting I've never logged meetings or kept copies of interactions. As a qualified social worker I would assume she has been keeping a case against me since we split. And I'm not going to lie' I have got depressed before and sent her suicide threats. ultimately Its the fear of knowing that she probably has messages I've sent her, logged and ready to use against me. I know it was [censored] stupid and I'd never do something stupid and selfish like that, but moving away from my children has made me feel so helpless at times. I feel like I've cut my own throat in a way, and really anxious to what little success I may get with solicitors.
like you said my options are limited, it really is a hopeless situation.
...I dont think you're silly at all, I completely understand how devastated you must be feeling, you and your children. As a Social Worker she should be fully aware of the negative impact this will be having on the children....shame on her 😡
If you dont have a contact address or number for her, how do you anticipate making contact? It might be that you will need to submit a Seek and Find Order to court to locate them.
Please dont beat yourself up over your naivety, or how you've reacted since the split. Its regretable that you have given her some ammunition to use against you but its not the end of the world You were upset but you now realize it was a stupid thing to say, and you never intended to carry the threats out. This would be your response if it were ever bought up.
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