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Hi my first post and I was hit with the non-mol order last Wednesday, over the top and very extreme but I attended court in the Friday (2 days notice) and contested the order.
My ex was asked about an undertaking but said she doesn’t want that. So now I have to get a solicitor to prepare my defence.
in the meantime she has told a friend that I should of accepted the order and believes I’m just being awkward! I want her to know what damage the order would cause me and to be reasonable, but I can’t contact her as she doesn’t have a solicitor.
I’ve contacted the national mediation and they will be interviewing me tomorrow £105. Will it be ok for them to contact her to tell her my reasons why I can’t accept the order? but I would consider an undertaking or even better for us both to sit down with the mediators and iron out our issues.
That way we wouldn’t have to attend court and grill each other.
Hello!
Do you have children together? If so has the application for a NMO affected contact arrangements?
@mrstrange hi, yes we have two children together that I’ve not seen for 6 weeks.
the problem is I still can’t have any contact until I go back to court with a solicitor to contest the order in about 2 weeks (just waiting for a date now).
What hearing have you had for the NMO and what will be the purpose of the next one?
Do you have a child arrangement order in place? If not, has either of you applied for a Child Arrangement Order?
Has the non mol been put in place? If so and you want to contest it, the Judge will probably ask her to prepare a Scott schedule with around 5 specific allegations but in more detail. You have to respond and there will a hearing when the Judge will decide who is most likely to be telling the truth. Its all very stressful, expensive and time consuming. You could accept the non mol on the basis on 'no findings of fact' or offer undertakings again. There is a helpful guide about non mols on the advicenow.org.uk website. You can represent yourself. Seeing the children is probably your priority so you may wish to submit a C100 form. There is a guide about this on the same website
Thanks for the advice. The non Mol is already in place I’ve got to go back next month for a pre trial hearing so doesn’t sound it will be dealt with then.
My ex wife was told by the judge if she doesn’t have a solicitor the court will appoint a QLR on her behalf! So should I just ask for a QLR and save the solicitor fees?
im still hopeful common sense will save the day, we can be grownups and speak with the mediation people.
Pre-trail hearing? I think the court will use that to determine:
-Extent of the allegations.
-If a final hearing is to go ahead, how many allegations can she submit and how much time will be needed for a final hearing.
What directions have been listed for the hearing? Will you need to submit anything?
At this stage, I wouldn't bother with a solicitor as it will be waste of money. Some NMO result in undertakings or the applicant withdraws the allegations. You just sit tight and wait to see what she will do.
@mrstrange yes I agree wait and see what gets said at per trial hearing. Only thing is that I do have to submit my counter statement by then and a solicitor would of helped with that.
A common misconception is that solicitors, like in American shows, help build your case. This is not correct. A solicitor will give general legal advice, provide templates and submit statements for you. However, they will not tell you what to write in your statement. You are 100% accountable for what's in your statement and every word written and not written has consequences.
In order for a an allegation to be proven, the court needs to prove:
1. That an event took place. (Needs to have a factual basis or corroborated by both parties)
2. What happened leading, during and after the event. (Needs to have a factual basis or corroborated by both parties)
3. The allegation meets the threshold for abuse or is part of a pattern.
4. The intent of the perpetrator.
5. The impact on the victim.
My approach would be to read her allegations careful.
0. Offer a short 5-6 sentences bullet pointing a brief history of your relationship. e.g when you meet, kids, work/domestic life.
1. Make no admission of abuse.
2. For allegations which your ex has included evidence for: Respond by including your own evidence that disputes her account.
3. For allegations that lacks factual evidence: Respond by stating that you oppose those allegations.
That’s great advice thanks once again.
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