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its been a while since i was last on here. update so far.........
Started court for PR & contact ( solicitor recommended not to go for transfer of residence) when child approx 2 months old - have first hearing - usual allegations about abuse to ex - No evidence
supported contact, assisted contact etc -all went very very well. Ex tried to frame me, a few times during this- but i saw the issues and raised them with staff. She raised in court - court essentially dismissed them. Ex says she will follow courts recommendations -but then back tracks. Orders raised regardless of ex back tracking.
Ex breeches order( no contact) claiming safeguarding - raised to enforce order, Ex breeches again claiming safeguarding (No Contact- though claims in court she turned up 6 weeks on the bounce and it is me in breech) enforcement raised again. Ex breeches again claiming safeguarding -enforcement raised again Emaill sent from Ex to all parties bating the court to put worse punishment possible in place - however different Judge - Judge states she did not mean what she says (as LIP), however there is also no safeguarding
Cafcass mentions alienation in court - nothing however documented - report she supposed to file will be late, judge accepting of this
in total 8 months no contact and only 2 days accumulated total in 2 years.
Guardian and solicitor appointed
My contact to start mid august in contact center ( which i have to pay for)
Asked Guardian to get me some current information on child, current likes, dislikes food, clothing toileting as i have had no contact with for 8 months (1/3rd of his life) and i want to be ready for contact -i feel i cannot ask ex direct as any contact i make directly, i am threatened with NMO.
Ex has come back to guardian, stating she will supply everything for contact.Guardian has stated, hope the information is sufficient for the contact session.
The offer ( i take it as an offer as i did not ask for this- only information) i have politely refused, as i consider the offer a way of continuing to exert control, and also provides a portal for more attempts at framing and influence over the child, ( However the way the guardian has worded her email in respect of the "offer", it is something i have to accept and cannot refuse), stating it is not in accordance with the intent of the order and is not in childs best interest.
I have tried to pin CafCASS down on the Alienation via email, but they will not reciprocate.
Will be back to court later in august to find out how contact went, to see if a psychological profile is needed for all concerned ( not requested by either party). if LA need to get involved - Guardian has been given the right automatically if they feel the need
It feels, that as the truth of the situation was starting to come out -the powers that be have thought this is too much too soon, we need to reign any thoughts of alienation / hostility towards myself in again and look for another answer. despite all the actions have validated my position statement from 16 months prior (though no one was interested at the time) and that i need to prove myself again.
What i want advice on if possible - am i missing something, and what else can ido
Hi there
To be honest, we have had many members here that also waited months before contact was started...it’s usually the way when there are allegations being made.
I think you just have to keep working away at it, once all the reports are in and they are assured that there are no safeguarding issues, the court should progress contact.
All the best
the contact back at contact centre is because 8 months and 3 successive breeches. Meant no contact, happened. but how can this be stopped from reoccurring again and again? There never has been any safeguarding issues. It is just the ex control and abuse.
I can relate quite well to this one... it almost mirrors my case with multiple breaches and the courts suggesting variations at enforcement hearings rather than actually applying the penalties they added as warnings for breaches of their orders.
At the last of the enforcements hearings I was told that the only other way to force the ex to comply with court orders was for the courts to apply the penalties for the ex breaking orders but for that i'd have to apply to ask the court to apply the penalty.
I did that, filed the wrong application form and she was let off due to the wrong form, the judge did tell her that she would have been handed a 3mth suspended sentence and if she broke contact I would be able to apply to have that sentence applied and change of residence would be considered.
C79 form i'm told can be used to ask the courts to apply their penalties and ask for change of residence as part of that.
Unfortunately there are so few ex's being punished for breaking contact orders that they get away with it because the courts naivety of hoping the parents can see sense and agree between themselves for the best interests of the children.
unfortunately the courts don't like to split children from one parent to the other as it could have a negative impact on the children....just like parental alienation does but they seem to allow that "for the sake of the children"
I did file a c79. The judge put it on hold and told her she could be sent prison and that I could bring it back. She continued to breech and said don't care what judge says si brought it back, however different judge who said I'm sure she didn't mean what she said. I get ordered to have contact in centre rather than in community as was ordered 3 times. Now because of delay I ask guardian for up to date info on child in readiness for contact centre to be told" ex has said she will provide everything", and words tantamount to enjoy your contact.
This is after ex says she receives little cm, and cafcass stating PA towards me in court (though she has not documented it) seems I get punished for her breeches.
All you can do then is apply again but for the courts to act and apply their penalties due to the continual breaking of court orders by your ex and put the evidence together that shows the continual breaking of the court orders to the judge.
if they ignore it again you can appeal in which case it will go in front of another judge.
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