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Hi,
I have been split from my ex of 25years for two years and it was a long hard battle of a year before I managed to get any form of access alone with my daughter who is now 6.
I fear the mother is trying to make things difficult in a bid to make me lose control so she can somehow stop access. Without making this a very long post she has made accusations of harassment, threats of violence from me etc and is very cunning. These have been false accusations. These stem from her constantly changing her mind about me seeing my daughter. Tines change days change even calling me when I have her to take her back or she would call the police etc. She even called me once to come to the house to lend her money then called the police saying I was trying to kidnap my daughter. Yes she went that far. I asked her to make a written agreement stating when I would collect her and when I would return. How much child support I would pay and when etc. She refused. She also refused mediation. She would ignore my texts making it look like I was sending lots , she would say call me then abuse me down the phone and threaten me with police again. She would then text stop calling me etc. All to get a list of missed calls and texts. She then went to women's aid claiming I had threatened her when I had not just to get free legal aid and then send a solicit letter threatening me to bot make contact which in turn stopped me arranging access with my daughter. In the end after repeated requests to borrow money from me and after me finding out she had been stealing from me I had leverage to get weekend access however I would like to get authorised or legally granted access / visitation but she won't agree. Is there any way I can get this without her.
The next issue is that I have to tip toe around her to avoid the trouble but she has been involved with a man who she had an affair with many years ago when we were together. This man is a heavy drinker and my daughter has raised concerns to me about he smells and is always around the house. My ex is apparently drinking heavy on a weekend which I accept is her right when she doesn't have her daughter but my eldest daughter (24) has informed me NY youngest daughter behaviour has got bad when at her mother's resulting in NY daughter hitting her mom etc. I am concerned about what nay or may not be happening in the house to result in this and so wondered is it A) possible to get some sort of laser whereby her bf cannot be around my daughter so she doesn't suffer in any way with " mommy and him make noises in the bedroom" and " he puts his sneaky feet in my face" etc.
I am also prepared to keep my daughter if I feel the place she lives in is somehow harming her be that psychologically or emotionally and am concerned that things like my daughter not having a clean and decorated bedroom, the house being sparsely furnished, wallpaper off the walls etc nay be signs that my daughters welfare is at some level of risk. Can anyone advise the best way to lecture for this to ensure minimal upset to my child and the least amount of upset as the first thing my ex would do is freak out and call the police. We were not married but .y daughter was born in 2010 and my name is on the birth certificate.
Hi there
I've posted on your other thread about maintenance but now just read this.
You would need to make an application to court using a C100 form for a Child Arrangement Order, attempting mediation is mandatory before being allowed to make the application. Depending on how long ago you tried mediation (if it was within the last 4 months) the mediator can stamp this form for you. If it is longer than that since you tried, you would have to attempt this process again. Legal Aid is still available for mediation and you can apply for an exemption or reduction in court fees using a form EX160A.
Please try to keep any communication with your ex to texts and emails so that you have a record of everything that is said between you. If you have serious concerns about your daughters welfare in the mother's care you would also need to complete a form C1A to list your safeguarding concerns.
It might be worth attending a local Families Need Fathers meeting in your area where you can get support from other parents and advice on how to go forward. Have a look through the stickies at the top of the Legal Eagle section for advice on the court process and keep posting, we will do everything we can to support you. Good luck
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