Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information β open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you β or someone you know β are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Around a year ago I was instructed by children's services to remove my 2 children from her care due to the condition of her house which she had been give chance after chance to sort out and help given to sort it out... shortly after I was granted a residence order which had a small almost footnote about contact... my predicament now is that I have been informed by my ex's mother that the house she was being evicted from (due to non payment of debt... she has sorted out other housing) had been inspected by a housing worker from the council and was found to be in another very poor state ( dog poo around the house etc)... now I have the dilemma of what do I do!!! I'm torn between ideas atm... I'm thinking of reducing contact to only day contact (no over nights) and no contact... The reason being that it's happened again so will likely to happen again... any help would be thankfully received.
Can you get a letter from the housing worker regarding the state of the house (ideally with photos - chances are they took some). I would be inclined to go back to court for a variation of the contact order for day contact, and overnight contact by arrangement once you (or some suitable person) has inspected the house on each occasion to ensure that it is a suitable, safe and clean environment for your children. Explain to the court that you have no objection to overnight stays (and they have been allowed to do so) but due to circumstances, you feel that the variation is in the children's best interests.
Unfortunately they won't give me any directly without someone like a lawyer or court ordering it. Also she's moved away so me or any of her dependable family checking the house is pretty much out of question. She's had warning after warning regarding the house before and not listened.. even her own familt have washed their hands of her and also the kids attitudes when I get them back off her stink so I'm not 100% sure if it's in there best interest to be with her at all... but like I say I'm struggling
Hi There,
I would have a word with social services and ask them for some advice, I'm sure they would be able to offer some.
When your looking out for your childrens well being the advice may actually be to cease contact for the time being, I wouldn't take any action until you have taken advice though as it could go against you.
GTTS
Hi there
You say that there is a small footnote on contact, what does it actually say about it? What was actually stipulated as far a contact is concerned?
How old are the children and how do they feel about the contact thus far?
I think you would be within your rights to restrict contact if you feel there is a risk to the children due to unsanitary conditions. I don't think you are being unreasonable as it is your responsibility to make sure the children are safe and if there are doubts about the conditions they may be subjected to at their mothers then you are within your rights to do something about it.
It might be worth arranging for contact to take place at a contact centre and asking to inspect the living conditions provided for the children before agreeing to a resumption of overnights. It might be a good idea to stipulate that she agree to regular inspections of the living conditions, this might keep her from letting it get out of hand.. at least this way you are not stopping contact, just protecting your children.
I would also call Social Services and bring them up to date with the situation, ask them to log your concerns and ask what advice they can give.
If you stop contact then she could take you to court for breach of the contact order, but if the court considers you had a valid reason for stopping the contact you won't be penalised and they are likely to put conditions on future contact.
Legal aid is no longer available for family law cases, so she would either have to pay for a solicitor or self represent, this may cause a stumbling block for her to apply for a breach of contact anyway.
Good luck π
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We donβt like to set βrulesβ, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.