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Here is the situation I separated with my ex-wife in Dec 2009 after she pushed me once to many times, she's been abusive from the onset of the relationship both physically and psychologically. She had me arrested for assault when the fact it is her son and her that assaulted me. I got charged but a court date 6months down the line. She then used this to STOP access to my children.
She and her daughter (my step daughter) then cooked up some more rubbish about sexual abuse that the police and social services saw straight though, but it kept me away from the children for longer and then only access by contact centre. Later the court ordered that I could have the children 40% of the time, and the eldest now 11 voted with his feet and moved out under her nose last Jan. He now resides here full time.
The final Court case is imminent and I've just had my final Interview with the CAFCASS officer in charge of the case for the children. People with experience of CAFCASS will be aware some of them can be magic some not. The Officer says there are four options
1: The Children reside with one Parent and get NO Contact
2: The Children get 50/50 access
3:The Children get week days with one parent and weekends with another
4: That Social Services do yet another S.47 and then decide if they need to farm the children out to an extended family member
My Eldest is not included in these proceedings as CAFCASS is happy he's done what he is happiest with
My other two children where asked what they want and they ordered it as follows
1: To have their time allocated like the eldest
2: To have weekends with mother and Weekdays with Dad
3: To keep things the same as they are now
4: ??????
Should I be concerned, if CAFCASS are taking the children's feelings into consent and family cohesion they wouldn't spilt them up would they?
Will the Judge also take things into account like my ex has changed barristers and solicitors multiple times and that all her paperwork is LATE (as late as ordered by a set date by the court)
Any advice as I am so stressed and worried
Hi Martin,
Welcome to DadTalk. I have a few questions that may help build a better picture of your situation.
Do you have a solicitor or are you representing yourself? Have you received your next court date? How many children do you have have with your ex and how old are they? You mentioned two step children, how old are they?
I'm a little confused by your statement that your 11 yr old isn't included in the proceedings. I agree that he's probably old enough to decide where he wants to live, but I would have thought that this would still need to be rattified in a residency order given his young age.
It does sound like you've been through the emotional ringer with this and it's clearly a very complex situation. Hopefully some of the other dad's will be along to give you more detailed advice.
Hang in there! If you're not represented and feel that you need immediate advice you can call the Chidrens Legal Centre for free (there's a link on this page).
Good luck!
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