[Solved] Advice please - no access

Hi,

I am really stuck and don't know what to do.

I have a son who is eight years old, both myself and his mom separated when he was one. I went to live in London and my ex went to move back in with her mom with our son.

Within a few months, my ex started using my son as a weapon, she was only interested in receiving money from me (of course I have always paid for my son), my ex then started to prevent access. I arranged mediation twice but she did not engage.

Following on from this my ex started seeing a man who was more than twice her age (ok her relationship is her business), but I found photos of her on escort sites. In addition to this, it seemed to me that she was no longer living with her mom, however, her mom has always denied this and asserted she was always living there with our son.

Fast forward years later with very erratic access from both the mom and the nan, the nan issued private proceeding for custody/ guardianship of our son (she is now saying her daughter hasn't lived there). The proceedings started over a year ago, however, I did not receive a call from the judge (although my details were correct and although I have confirmation from my network the network was working fine, and indeed, I was able to make a receive calls). Without consulting me and without my consent the court has given the nan temporary parental responsibility.

In the meantime, the nan has done absolutely everything she can do to prevent contact, she has used COVID-19 as an excuse (despite me having weekly tests, which all have come back negative). In addition to this, she has emailed me telling me to only to contact her solicitors (despite me being more than reasonable, frankly bending over backwards) advising that her solicitor has advised not to respond to me.

I contacted her solicitors advising that it's important we have an open dialogue to discuss what is best for Oscar and arrange contact etc, now.... her solicitor was "on leave" and it was a colleague who responded to me, the colleague advised that they had instructed the nan because she (the nan) had instructed the solicitor to do this (what on earth?).

In addition to this, I have weekly video calls with my son, there have been a few very concerning occasions where my son has said some strange things (I would also point out that the nan is obviously influencing what my son says). He had a tower, he pointed halfway up the tower and said "This is how many people have died from COVID" he then pointed to the top of the tower and said, "If we're not careful this is how many people will die from COVID". This is very very strange and concerning for a child to be talking in this way. I said to my son that we are all being careful to keep everyone safe and will be ok, obviously to reassure him.

At this point, the nan comes running into the video call literally shouting and screaming at me for talking about COVID (when all I was doing is responding to my son in a calm, re-assuring manner) the video call then ended (there are many instances of the nan doing this). I really didn't know what to do, so I called the landline, I wanted to reassure my son, I said I didn't mean to upset him (although I said nothing inappropriate), my son then said to me that "he will have his revenge" I said I loved him and just wanted to make sure he was ok, my son then said he will have his revenge and cut my head off then we will see who is laughing. I just said calmly that I loved him and just wanted to make sure he was ok... the call then abruptly ended.

I believe the district judge has behaved with complete bias and recklessness by not calling me (I have asked the court for evidence to prove they have called me), this has been going on for over a year now and really don't know what I can do, the nan is still preventing access, Southend Social services have been completely biased from day 1, although as I am able to evidence a lot, they are seeing the nan in a very different light, although they do nothing, even though they have compounded some of these issues.

From my perspective around how the has been handled

1, The judge never called me
2, Without my knowledge, consultation nor consent has given the nan parental responsibility.
3, At the second hearing the judge wouldn't allow me to read out a statement
4, The nan has completely abused this mandate she has been given, preventing access at literally every opportunity
5, The nan has been alienating my relationship with my son, shouting and screaming in our calls.
6, Despite me raising my concerns (as they have withdrawn) Southend Social services refuse to do anything.
7, The nan's solicitor have advised her not to communicate with me via email (although according to the solicitor the nan asked the solicitor to do this)
8, Details have been sent from the nan's solicitor to other parties and not myself (citing a typo in my email as a reason).

This really is very sad, upsetting and frustrating, I have always had a great relationship with my son face to face but the nan and the mom have just been able to prevent access and try to poison my great relationship with my son.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I have applied for guardianship myself but now I can't see my son a contact order has been suggested.