[Solved] ADVICE PLEASE - new court hearing

hi,

i had barrister with me at all hearings, and he would just hand over position statement to court, cafcass and ex side on the day

but to be on safe side, carefully go through court papers and check if it asks you submit such and such papers by a certain date etc.

Hi I also think that as you have PR you have the right to have input into where your child goes to school . Speak to the local department of education and if need be try to make it part of a prohibitive steps order that your child can’t be moved to a school or location so far away that it so drastically reduces your contact

Take the statement with you on the day.

I would be surprised if a court favoured her application considering the current arrangements are clearly working well.

If they weren't working, she would have said / done something before now and taking it straight to court seems somewhat extreme.

If the children are used to staying with you for this time and it suddenly reduces, this will have an emotional impact on them and the last thing you want when a little one is starting school, is upheaval at home.

Best of luck

Hi all,

Thanks for all your comments and advice. It occurred to me that I had been guilty of taking advice then not feeding back how it went; so here goes.

Firstly, I'm glad you all advised to take a position statement with me. I handed it in to the court clerk and gave a copy to the other side. I think this did me a number of favours (not least the magistrates appearing sympathetic to my cause - more on that later), but also helped me be clear in my position.

So I represented myself (so glad I did). While I was really nervous before things got going, I quickly realised when I started talking to my ex's solicitor or in the court room that actually I know my situation better than anyone and with the greatest of respect it comes across more personable to speak for oneself. My confidence grew.

Her solicitor first tried to argue that my eldest was struggling at school from living with me. I brought along his attendance record (100%), and his school report (better than expectations for age and no behavioural issues) and dismissed this. They then changed tack to say that my youngest seems distressed from time with me. I pushed back, said I had not seen anything of this and even if it was true, would we not first try and work some soft options out to help him rather than take each other to court! Then they changed tack again and said my ex was upset that she had no weekends entirely to herself (as on her weekend I pick them up at 5pm Sunday). I again pointed out that given she is arguing they don't get enough sleep she shouldn't really be doing much with them after 5pm Sunday anyway blah blah blah. Long story short - they kept trying different angles of attack and I was able to rebuff them and hold firm. I said I was happy to talk about changing the arrangements, but only if the end goal is to improve the experience for the children not to reduce my time with them.

We eventually agreed there was no agreement to be had and that we would need a contested hearing early next year.

Upon being called to the courts their side said their bit. I was asked if I wanted to say anything and I thought "I may as well get some experience talking in court" so decided to say a little. I expressed the views I have made in this forum (that I can't see how change while starting school helps settle a child) and the magistrates were kind in saying that my position statement was "eloquent and was clear the distress these changes could cause the children". I felt like they were minded to back my position, but obviously this wasn't a final hearing.

So in short - I survived, nothing has changed yet. I have gained experience and confidence. I still don't trust the court system so perhaps it will all go wrong at the contested hearing, but fingers crossed I'm well placed.

Thanks for your help again

hi,

thanks for the update. was it not possible to ask the judge for their directions/guidance, instead of not reaching an agreement with the ex?