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Hi again everyone,
As ever I would appreciate your advice.
I just have got my S7. It is recommending shared care of 5-6 night a fortnight with me and shared school holidays. This is a huge step forward and I know I should be grateful. There's always a but....
But the wishes and feelings of my son state he wants to live with me and see his mum once a month. The mums and dads sheet is similarly in my favour. I even felt bad for his mother reading his statements even after all she has done. It was that bad. Of course once a month is unrealistic and I would never deny access.
I don't understand how the cafcass officer has arrived at her conclusion. I see nothing in her report explaining the split or stating why/how either parent is better or worse to look after my son. The report even expresses concern over my sons views and relationship with his mother.
What can I do about questioning the report? I would like to understand the basis of the decision - currently all I have is the words professional opinion. Well to me that is unacceptable and used to hide a decision not based on fact or reason.
How can I best help my son? Do I fight for him living with me what are my chances. Especially as the court order says shared contact.
Worst my boy wants to live with me and I don't think I can deliver this . I am also concerned to the damage this will do to him as his mother is very controlling.
I know there are some of us in much worse positions and I feel for all of you. I just want to help my boy and be the best dad I can.
Should I question report and ask for reversal of split ie 9 days with me unless she can prove my inability to be a parent?
Should I press ahead with court case anyway and fight for more?
Also how long is this for? My son is nearly 12. Should I accept these arrangements and apply again in a year once I have benefit of having looked after him for a period (currently I only see him every other weekend)
Thanks for the help
MH
I would suspect that the CAFCASS report is going on the assumption that the courts generally don't move residence unless there is a good reason to do so, and while they will consider the wishes of your son at his age, they won't just take his wishes as what should happen. I'm not sure whether you should go for residence - it might be worth trying it on the basis that if you don't get it, then you fall back to the cafcass recommendation - there are others on here with more experience of this than me, so hopefully they can advise better.
Your son is getting to the age where if he were to abscond from his mothers house, and turn up at your house, the police are likely to do no more than check that he is safe, or maybe return him the first time. If he did it repeatedly, you would then really have to try to return him home, but if he refused to go, you would have to apply to court for residence, and if your son made it clear to cafcass that if he was returned to his mother, he'd only run away again, then they might come to the conclusion that he should live with you.
Hi,
I am thinking of challenging the report. I think it is very poor as a report. It does not answer the questions ie no section evaluating either parents ability, it does not provide any reason except professional opinion for the split of contact, it relies on letters allegedly from my son not the interviews.
Has anyone got significant changes?
Once again I feel we are penalised because of our [censored] and the short-term situation. As in I left with no contact so CAFCASS see them giving me a huge increase rather than starting 50-50 and working from there. Which is how I see this so am not happy to go down to 40% despite my son saying he wants to live with me.
I am also really concerned for his welfare emotionally as he doesn't want to live with his mum.
So any comments on whether i should challenge gratefully received.
Thanks MH
Hi Missing_Him,
I would, given the CAFCASS report recommendations, suggest that you ask for a degree more than being offered... purely on the basis that it should really be 50/50 and there is likely to be a degree of negotiation, so for want of a better term "start high, and bid down".
Regarding your views on the CAFCASS report, it does seem a little odd that there is no reasoning given around the recommendations. That being said, CAFCASS are not always known for making sense! In any case, if you feel the report does not answer the questions properly, it may be worth writing to the CAFCASS officer, and cc'ing the court requesting clarification regarding how the decision has been reached in this circumstance?
This will not only show you are looking at why this has been put forward, it may also provide answers before the next hearing, saving any potential delays to the process. If you do have to request an addendum at the next hearing, given the recommendations, I would be walking into the court room and requesting an interim order providing 50/50 care, and possibly further work carried out to ascertain why your son feels so negatively about residing with his mother.
At the end of the day, you are concerned for your child and would like to ensure his welfare is protected. Anyone who can't see that, and understand why, shouldn't be involved in the family court system.
All the best,
BD.
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