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I need some advice; thought it would be worthwhile checking here first before contacting my solicitor again.
The current arrangement I have with my ex partner and my 3 year old daughter is every other weekend (fri-sun) which we have agreed upon
and has been in place for 6 months or so.
Now, a situation has arose - whereby my designanted weekend next week I have to go into hospital for treatment , My ex has stated I must arrange childcare (she obviously has her own life now and doesnt want that disrupted)
So my question is, by law because I have agreed every other weekend. What can I do? do I have to by law arrange or pay for private childcare?
or can I decline. I am trying to make arrangements with grandparents (my parents) to help that weekend.
Interested on how the law stands on this, and longer term if there are weekends I am unable due to ill heath , can the government help with childcare costs
or would that not apply as I am not full time parent.
any suggestions welcome 🙂 thank you all.
Hi there
As this is by mutal agreement and not by court order, it isn't legally binding as such. You have given her notice of the hospital treatment and time to make other arrangements. She can insist its your weekend so it's your problem, but there is no legal requirement for you to do so.
Situations like this do arise and its better for all concerned if there is some flexibility where contact is concerned, your health must take priority, just as if it were the other way round I'm sure you would also step up and accommodate any changes. It's probably inconvenient for her, she may have made plans, but it can't be helped.
So you can decline, but in my opinion if you can make arrangements so that the schedule isn't disrupted it would be preferable because of her attitude. What you can do is to try and put agreements in place, to write in some flexibility for the future, which would be in your ex's best interests as well as yours.
Hopefully your parents can step in, but if you can't find suitable childcare then you can say no. You could also offer to make up the weekend you've missed by having her another weekend.
Best of luck
Even with a court order, usually the non resident parent can miss contact without penalty as the court order will say that the resident parent is to make the children available, not that the children have to go.
That said, how much notice have you given her? Posting with my ex wife head on, I wouldn't be impressed if my ex gave me only 1 or 2 weeks notice that we needed to change schedule and in general, we make our own childcare arrangements on our weekends. It just easier. And both of us acknowledge that we need our own downtime. It's not about not wanting our lives disrupted but about ensuring good mental health! That said, if he did just refuse to have the kids, I'd be annoyed but that would be the end of it really. The kids wouldn't know and I would protect them from any conflict.
What is she likely to do if you refuse to have your daughter? With my stepmum hat on, thinking of how my husbands ex would react, she would probably tell the kids that Dad doesn't love them enough, isn't bothered about seeing them and would potentially refuse all future contact. So in that scenario, it would be better to just arrange your own childcare.
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