[Solved] Advice needed, stopped contact.

Hi There,
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firstly I think paying for and taking the results of a drug test would be a very good idea, it will show you have nothing to hide and that you are happy to prove that, also if the bulk of thier argument is around the drug use, it will take the wind out of thier argument from the outset, I would keep the fact that you are going to do this to yourself until you are in the court room, that way they wouldn't have time to come up with any other issues to throw in and hopefully things will go a lot quicker.
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The arguments you had at the start of the break up, won't hold much weight either in my oppinion, everyone gets stressed during break ups and when time with your son is involved it's going to be worse, just be ready to answer questions around it, and show remource, explain things were still very raw and that you regret having acted how you did and that now things have calmed down, you are able to keep things civil.
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I feel that with the biggest issue they have being the drug use, you could easily represent yourself, especially if you take a clear drug test result with you, you may get asked about the drug use but again show remource in how you acted and explain that since the birth of your son, you haven't used any drugs and don't plan too as your priorities have changed.
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What you are asking for in terms of contact seems fair to me, however, although there isn't a set standard, the norm does seem to be every other weekend with some contact mid week, asking for overnight mid week isn't an issue but you may need to fight for that and maybe if you are able to get it, drop to just one night midweek on the week that you don't have your on, but we always say ask for slighlty more that you expect to get so you have room to compromise in the court room.
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Good luck
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GTTS

I have deleted your duplicate post
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GTTS

Thank u so much for the advice, just been stressing and flapping as spoke to a few solicitors regarding the matter and they all say between 2-5k cost wise :/ . Just wanted an insight to how hard it is representing yourself, if I need to know every law etc lol..

How do courts usually go about if my ex does not want any contact or to see me ( which her solicitor has said ) what will happen in court regarding that and being able to get my agreement, any idea? Or would they tell her to grow up sort of speak , as there is no actuall reason for it bar her playing hard...

Thanks

Hi again,

You don't need to know every law, it's pretty much common sense and the judge will make allowances they are very used to people representing themselves.

The judge may suggest a contact centre for hand over or another family member to hand over the children.

GTTS

It may also be worth considering a McKenzies friend if you want assistance, that will be far more cost effective if you are happy to stand up in court.

WhT is Mckenzie's friend? I'm confused lol... Everyone feedback is truly appreciated, like most others, I'm shitting first hearing as its my son, but at the same time every solicitor I have spoke to I don't feel like none of them will get accross how much of a active dad I want to and need to be playing and don't feel a solicitor will show judges how much I want my son as much as possible where as I can do that. But never been in family court so the more advice from my original statement is truly noted, people who have been through the mill are the ones who have experience rather than solicitors just trying to get as many court dates out of it as possible for money lol

Hi Again,
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A McKenzie friend is someone who is trained to help you through the court proccess, they can help prep for the first hearing and also attend with you in the court room, they aren't able to speak for you but can take notes and advise you whilst the case is being heard.
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If you wanted to take this route then we may have some contacts in your area, there are some very good McKenzie friends and in the same respect some that aren't much cop and charge almost as much as a solicitor.
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From what you have said the court proccess should be quite straight forward, if you take your clear drug test result along and show that at the first hearing, I would imagine that the whole proccess should move quite quickly, as long as your ex doesn't suddenly find other issues to try and slow things down.
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If it were me I would go alone to the first hearing suss everything out, see how you get on and if you think it's too much look for assistance for the following hearings, as you say the judge will be able to hear your voice and emotions when you are there and that's is always better.
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The court proccess is duanting, but it isn't as bad as you would think, the court room should be laid out in a similar way to the court rooms you see on TV, with rows of desk with you sitting on one side and your ex on the other, the judge will sit up on a raised paltform in front of you, there may be social services or Cafcass in the room but they aren't always there. If you get to the courts early and get yourself set up somewhere after you have checked in, any questions you have you can ask the people on the desk and they will explain anything to you, take a drink and a book as you can be waiting around for quite some time. As said get there early and hopefully you will be there before your ex, I always liked to be in and sat down in the waiting room before my ex got there so that I didn't feel awkward and watched while I was getting sorted.
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GTTS

Great info thank you, yes I'm worried and ' scared ' as much as I hate to say it lol....

How would I go about finding out about the Mckenzie friends?

Ideally don't want to do it just myself, but also don't want to pay the ridiculous solicitor Fees as been told between 3-5k by 3 different solicitors.. I would like someone who could give advice ( that's not a mate or family member ) but me represent myself and speak but someone there who could give pointers etc, how do I find out or speak to someone about it?

Hi There,
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I will flag this post up to the two members who may have contacts in your area or who could give you better advice on where to find a good MF, could you let me know which part of the country you are in please, ether here or in a private message if you don't want to post location on open forum.
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GTTS

Hi , I'm based in Warrington , Cheshire northwest .

Thanks

Thank you, I've just asked the members if they have any contacts near you I will get back to you asap
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GTTS