[Solved] Advice needed please

Might be worth drawing up a timeline of events - that will show clearly that she went back on the agreement as soon as the threat of court was removed.

Sound advice, as always, and I will definitely do that. Everything has been done via email/text so is already time and date stamped so it should be very easy for me to put that all together.

Just dropping back in to update my situation and to request a little advice. I've produced a timeline of events and if it was a criminal case my ex-wife would be bang to rights. Sadly it's not a criminal case and I've got through the Cafcass Safeguarding Telephone Interview with gritted teeth. I can't recall who has written a post on dealing with Cafcass on here (slim perhaps)? though the information provided was bang on. I'll try and find his post after and extend my thanks. I've not received a copy of the report as yet though there was no issue with Police or Social Services so I'm not expecting any fireworks. Moving on... I'm in court next week and I'm representing myself. My ex-wife has opted to be represented by a solicitor. I want 50/50 shared responsibility which my ex-wife agreed to (in writing) and then u-turned on when she knew my last court application had been withdrawn and she knew maintenance would stop. I'm very much of the mindset now, given she cannot be trusted to act honourably on a mutual arrangement, that I'll be seeing this through to the point that a) I get what I want being 50/50 shared responsibility which I honestly believe is to our son's benefit or b) the judge decides something else is appropriate and I'll just have to get on with it. Either way I wish for this to be set in stone this time to avoid future issues. Specifically, on the matter of conduct at court, do I need to acknowledge or liaise in any manner or form with her representation or can I simply act in isolation with Cafcass and the judge? I'm absolutely no expert in court matters though i have given evidence in numerous criminal cases (as a professional witness I should add) whereby if I am approached by the defendant or their counsel I simply ask them to stop talking to me or I inform the usher. Is this the best kind of approach in family matters or is being more open considered appropriate? Your help on this aspect would be most appreciated.

Hi there

Yes, her counsel will likely ask to have discussions with you before going in front of the judge. All courts work differently and CAFCASS are not there for every hearing, some officers will talk to you both individually before the hearing, some won't.

The best advice I can give to you is to be open for discussion with her counsel as anything you agree before the hearing can be included in any order made. The court welcome any agreement parents can reach and it is possible to arrive at court with say, 6 issues, agree 3 of them before the hearing and ask the judge to reach a decision on the rest.

Depending on the CAFCASS recommendations and the judge's view on the situation, further hearings, statements and reports can be ordered. Things are only usually tied up in earlier hearings if the parties can agree.

Have a good look through the stickies at the top of the Legal Eagle section, there is some good advice on attending court and particularly the series of videos by Lucy Reed are helpful.

Good luck

Thank you very much Yoda, I appreciate the advice and will certainly read the stickies and search for the videos. Best Regards, Steve

I've now attended the first hearing which on balance I think very well. My ex-wife's brief brought an offer to the table prior to going in to the hearing which I declined. As neither party in the proceedings were able to reach agreement the court has ordered the following: 1) My ex-wife and I are to independently attend a separated parents course (I will be attending). 2) I need to submit a statement to the court in advance of judge led conciliation scheduled for next month. Is there anything specific I should/should not put in my statement? I've got the impression they are really looking for a bullet point type outline of why I have brought the matter to court and why I want to see my son more? Best, Steve

Hopefully, others with more recent experience than me will post on here, but I would say that you are along the right lines that it should be brief (bullet points should be fine I would have thought) and keep it positive and child focused, so point out all of the reasons why contact is beneficial at the current or increased level.

Hi Steve

Here's a link to the new Child Law Advice website operated by Coram Childrens Legal Centre. If you open the menu (top left hand corner) and open up the Attending Court tab you will find a template for a statement and also one for attaching evidence, you may find these useful.

You will see from the template that it is indeed in bullet point format. Keep it to the point and include some background, current status and what you are requesting and why. As you already have a signed agreement for 50/50 shared care you can mansion this and attach a copy as evidence to the back of the statement. If you use the search engine at the top of the page and type in Position statement you should find some useful past posts on this subject.

Try not to make negative or personal comments about the mother, but that doesn't mean you can't mention that she had encouraged you to withdraw your initial application and agreed to shared care which was reneged upon as soon as you had done so, for no apparent reason.

If she is a good mother then say as much and express the wish that you will be able to put any differences aside and work together in your sons best interests.

http://www.childlawadvice.org.uk/

Thank you again actd.
Fantastic help Mojo, I appreciate that information which is undoubtedly going to be a great help. Thank you!
Regards,
Steve

Since my last post I have attended the Separated Parents Information Programme as ordered and have recently attended a Judge Led Conciliation Session. Regrettably no common ground could be reached so we left without an order and The Judge is now scheduling a date for a Final Hearing. As I am a Litigant In Person I was hoping you could provide me with a bit of information surrounding the procedure in the hearing e.g. will I be questioned by the Magistrates, my ex-wife's brief and possibly even my ex-wife? Will I get the opportunity to correct some of the inaccuracies/lies in the statement she provided etc? I've managed to bat for myself thus far without legal representation but with the help and assistance provided by the moderators of this site which has been priceless and I'm very grateful. I do feel a little in the dark/out of my depth even perhaps so maybe it is time to seek representation for this final hearing? Any help, guidance, information you can provide would be great! Thank you, Steve

Hi Steve

Have you looked at the sticky topics on representing yourself in court? They are definitely worth a look if you haven't. I haven't attended a court for quite a long time, so I'm out of touch with the proceedings these days, hopefully someone with more up to date knowledge can assist, but since you managed well this far, I wouldn't be worried that you can't handle this final stage yourself - but you could always get a MaCkenzie' friend if you really feel you need help.

I did indeed watch the Lucy Reed videos and found them very helpful. I haven't the first clue why I forgot to review them again before posting my questions? Stressful time I guess is my only reason! Things didn't go too well for me in the conciliation session and I got the distinct impression that the judge was totally disinterested. His morning case finished much later than planned and I think he just wanted us out of the way as soon as possible. This experience left me a bit deflated and knocked my confidence though I'm back in the game again now and ready to tackle the final hearing on my own. I'll definitely drop back here and post the outcome. Thanks again. Steve