[Solved] Advice needed - contact arrangements

Hi Doe,

I would play this very carefully, your ex seems to be looking to cause trouble so I'd look at the questions you have asked and i'd be asking myself if any of these things would be difficult to arrange.

getting your son a cheap mobile is easily done and shouldn't cost more than £10-£15 you then don't havethe issue in your answering the phone.

talking through email/txt may seem a difficult option but you will have proof of what has been said, like wise with above a mobile for your son means no phone calls on your ex's land line that she could saywere threatening.

You are right to keep trying with regard to contacting your ex to make arrangements to see your son, and at thispoint although she seems to be making life difficult it doesn't sound as though she is trying to stop you seeing him.

If you look at her request and think is that unreasonable? you may well think yes it is, but then think about it again and think what difference will it make or how hard would it be to achieve what's she's asked and if its not a huge issue or a really unreasonable request, then i'd say do it, and keep all theproof that you have so if you ever end up in court you canshow you have tried.

Darren

Hi Doe,

I'd say the same as Darren, i speak only from my own experiences so far.
My ex stopped me phoning and stopped me seeing my son.....as it turns out about the same time she started a relationship with a guy she has now married! (18months ago that all started) we did all comunication via email or texts until about May last year when she moved the guy into our home that i still was paying the mortgage on (I can prove that through concil tax).

Anyway....my point is....shje tried claiming to the police that she didn't want the emails and texts....although she did agree to this in court in front of magistrates and solicitors in Feb & april 2011....she neglected to tell police that bit! the police tried to issue me with an harassment warning....but with me having saved every text and email to/from her....they dropped it and gave her one for contacting me! they messed that one up cos it should've been for wasting police time and not contacting me as she hadn't much!

the upshot of that is that she inadvertenly helped me prove my case in court....the judge ripped in to her for false acusations and found against her and in favour of me....no need for lying or misleading the courts...the evidence was all there.

So....Save copies of every text, email, letter and make notes of every incident, conversation etc... if she's playing games keep records, it all helps if it comes to the worst and she tries what my ex did. if i hadn't had the advice to save everything i would've been walked over....too many mothers do this to decent dads just for revenge and because they think they can get away with it!

Hi Doe,

I agree with whats been said above. Especially about wanting to cause trouble. The Police would certainly not say that. In my opinion you need to be very wary of contact between yourself and your ex. She will highly likely have Solicitors threaten Prohibitive Steps Orders etc.

What contact are you currently getting (time spent with your Son)?

I would definately write a letter regarding contact to your ex wife if contact has stopped... or email this. The letter/email needs to be kept entirely relating to Contact with your Son. No deviating from this as potentially she could claim harassment. Only send the one email/letter Contact.

I would also say in the letter/email you hope to have an agreement reached within a couple of weeks.

If no agreement can be made, the best thing to do is to involve the Courts. On here we see it all the time, and while yes it is nice to try and work towards and amicable solution, this situation is an all too familiar one.

There is a guide at the top of this LE Forum for Contact Orders and Representing Yourself at Court. Quite useful and built upon from many many many circumstances and situations leading up to Contact Orders and Court Hearings.

A positive thing with the Courts now being that Contact with both parents will very very soon be an expectation, thus decisions made will be a pre-cursor to these.

Hi Doe

Regarding the home phone issue, I have custody of my children and my ex is not allowed to phone my daughter on the home phone (I've never given her the number, though I suspect she was inadvertently given it by the CSA a long time ago). My point of view is that my family, including my wife, step children and older daughter shouldn't have to be cautious about who is ringing (I don't trust my ex not t make snide comments to whoever answers). She has provided my younger daughter with a mobile which she pays for a cheap contract (though to receive calls only, a simple PAYG phone is perfectly sufficient, and wouldn't need to be topped up) and this works well, so I'd say this is the best solution.