Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information β open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you β or someone you know β are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi guys. I have been to court with another court date set to get residential contact with my son. Surprisingly my ex who has essentially broken off communication with me since the split and done everything to minimise contact has suggested mediation. I have been seeing my son. There is no supervision issue and whilst with me, we can do as we please. This was an interim agreement with both solicitors.
My suspicion is that this is due to being told her stance is simply not viable for anyone to argue in a court as there is no basis for it but id be amazed that there was a genuine desire to make a concession and become reasonable after what i've gone through.
Should I have any faith that this process will actually work or is it just another ploy to show the court that she's reasonable even though she's anything but or should I go in with a more optimistic mindset? I know its easier for me to gauge as only I know her but wondered if anyone has went into this like me thinking there is no hope at all and actually achieved a result they completely didn't expect.
Thanks.
Hi brokendad
Call me cynical but given the history of your case, I would guess that she's been encouraged to attempt agreement by her solicitor.
The courts welcome any agreement the parents can reach, even at an advanced stage in proceedings. I would say take her up on the offer, it will make you look reasonable (yet again), who cares if she is doing it to look reasonable if it assists proceedings?
if she agrees to your suggestions of contact, great. You could then ask the court to write up the order based on what you have agreed. If you can only agree on part of your suggestions, you could then ask the courts to decide on the outstanding issues?
Having said all that, just remembered you're in Scotland and things may work differently?
π
thanks. I think your right. its more or less the same principles I think. I just pray we can agree and end this nightmare. I just want to work in partnership and make things amicable for all our sakes. Sadly I don't hold out much hope but at least I have my solicitors reassurance in the background.
so unnecessary, despite all the problems id still be amicable in future if we could sort things now but she seems driven by a desire to make it a hate situation. Quite why I've no idea unless its to justify her stance
At least I'm eating again which my families happier with. lost a shedload of weight, not a diet id recommend though.
Ah, I'm glad you're eating again and your family are looking out for you, it's important to look after yourself, you need your energy for your son.
At least Mediation will give you one last chance to make your stance known and extend the olive branch so to speak, plus you have the court hearing and the safety net of having any agreement made in Mediation, written into an order. I would recommend that you do formalise any agreements through the courts as the ones made in Mediation are not legally binding (in England at least).
It's so awful, my partner's ex has done exactly that with their situation, it's destroyed him to a point. He is so saddened by the fact that she has no desire to be amicable, weird when she was the one who destroyed their relationship in the first place.
Keep doing what you're doing, be kind to yourself, be open to this other avenue whilst still remaining on your guard.
Good luck to you and the little one π
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We donβt like to set βrulesβ, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.