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Advice from those w...
 
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[Solved] Advice from those who have been to mediation pls

 
(@brokendad)
Reputable Member Registered

Hi guys. I have been to court with another court date set to get residential contact with my son. Surprisingly my ex who has essentially broken off communication with me since the split and done everything to minimise contact has suggested mediation. I have been seeing my son. There is no supervision issue and whilst with me, we can do as we please. This was an interim agreement with both solicitors.

My suspicion is that this is due to being told her stance is simply not viable for anyone to argue in a court as there is no basis for it but id be amazed that there was a genuine desire to make a concession and become reasonable after what i've gone through.

Should I have any faith that this process will actually work or is it just another ploy to show the court that she's reasonable even though she's anything but or should I go in with a more optimistic mindset? I know its easier for me to gauge as only I know her but wondered if anyone has went into this like me thinking there is no hope at all and actually achieved a result they completely didn't expect.

Thanks.

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 27/08/2014 6:58 pm
 1626
(@1626)
Noble Member Registered

Hi brokendad

Call me cynical but given the history of your case, I would guess that she's been encouraged to attempt agreement by her solicitor.

The courts welcome any agreement the parents can reach, even at an advanced stage in proceedings. I would say take her up on the offer, it will make you look reasonable (yet again), who cares if she is doing it to look reasonable if it assists proceedings?
if she agrees to your suggestions of contact, great. You could then ask the court to write up the order based on what you have agreed. If you can only agree on part of your suggestions, you could then ask the courts to decide on the outstanding issues?

Having said all that, just remembered you're in Scotland and things may work differently?

πŸ™‚

ReplyQuote
Posted : 27/08/2014 8:19 pm
brokendad and brokendad reacted
(@brokendad)
Reputable Member Registered

thanks. I think your right. its more or less the same principles I think. I just pray we can agree and end this nightmare. I just want to work in partnership and make things amicable for all our sakes. Sadly I don't hold out much hope but at least I have my solicitors reassurance in the background.

so unnecessary, despite all the problems id still be amicable in future if we could sort things now but she seems driven by a desire to make it a hate situation. Quite why I've no idea unless its to justify her stance

At least I'm eating again which my families happier with. lost a shedload of weight, not a diet id recommend though.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 27/08/2014 9:00 pm
 1626
(@1626)
Noble Member Registered

Ah, I'm glad you're eating again and your family are looking out for you, it's important to look after yourself, you need your energy for your son.

At least Mediation will give you one last chance to make your stance known and extend the olive branch so to speak, plus you have the court hearing and the safety net of having any agreement made in Mediation, written into an order. I would recommend that you do formalise any agreements through the courts as the ones made in Mediation are not legally binding (in England at least).

It's so awful, my partner's ex has done exactly that with their situation, it's destroyed him to a point. He is so saddened by the fact that she has no desire to be amicable, weird when she was the one who destroyed their relationship in the first place.

Keep doing what you're doing, be kind to yourself, be open to this other avenue whilst still remaining on your guard.

Good luck to you and the little one πŸ™‚

ReplyQuote
Posted : 27/08/2014 10:20 pm
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