Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information β open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you β or someone you know β are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Well I am awaiting a CAFCASS section 7 report which should turn up this week or the next. It's in relation to my <1 yr old.
I have no idea what sort of contact CAFCASS might suggest. Given that toddler was happy, smiling, cuddled me, grabbed a book for me to read to her and fell asleep in my arms- I am hoping that is seen as good parenting.
Assuming (and that is a big assumption) that its ok- and given the lies that have been told (not a good dad, cant change nappies, DV etc.) is there anything people think I should ask the solicitor to add for the courts to suggest?
I wondered if things like a mediation clause should be added?
Basically any idea of what to expect, what I should look for- all would be welcome.
Thank you for reading.
Hi there
It's impossible to second guess what a court might decide as it varies wildly from judge to judge. It's great that the observational visit went well and hopefully that will be indicated in the S7 report.
You could suggest that a parenting course might be a good idea for both of you to attend, as it gives parents an insight into the effects that hostility between parents can cause. Here's some info on the SPIP course that can be arranged by the court/CAFCASS.
Perhaps you could work on a CAFCASS parenting plan, fill one out and send it along with a blank copy to he mother ( or her solicitor) and request that she read through it and make any amendments/suggestions that would help you both reach a broader agreement on co parenting which will benefit your child. There is a link to the plans in a sticky at the top of the Legal Eagle section.
You might like to prepare a schedule of increasing contact that would see your child eased gently into a regular schedule, starting with a few hours and building up to full weekends which include overnight stays and a midweek visit.
Best of luck
Wow! Well I had my CAFCASS Section 7 report and I am delighted. Despite quoting a number of lies from ex, CAFCASS said they cannot be substantiated. The whole report really seems to centre around the interaction fathers have with their children. I am extremely happy to have a series of recommendations that help me move towards a much better involvement in my toddlers life.
My take-away from the whole assessment:
Be natural; be yourself- Officers are trained to see through any façade you try to put up so don't bother.
Be focussed around the interests of your child- this is not the opportunity to slag off your ex no matter what yarns they have spun.
Be cautious and courteous- don't take nods as agreements, don't loose it no matter how aggrieved you might feel, don't make demands.
I just wish this experience was more commonplace, unfortunately it seems its a bit of a lottery for most.
Thank you for updating us and well done on a good Section 7 report, sounds like you had a great CAFCASS officer.
As Mojo said, worth looking at Parenting Plans and considering what schedule of contact you will ask for. It's worth thinking through your proposals for handovers, who will be responsible and also how you will communicate going forward.
Good luck and keep posting.
I have already started an online parenting plan. Online makes it less confrontational and shows the courts I am working towards the best interests of my daughter while also trying to involve her mum.
I am also going to use a contact book so both parents know how the other parents visit went (anyone got any advice on what to include in write-ups?)
I am going to be specific in terms of ensuring there are some key points put down in a draft order in front of the judge. (e.g. change of clothes to be supplied, coat, shoes etc.) else I expect there to be some "fun and games" played out.
I am just hopeful that it doesn't go to an expensive and time-consuming 3rd court appearance. Anyone know how successful ex's can be in over-ruling CAFCASS recommendations?
Contact books are best kept brief. Depending on the age of the child and any allergies, you would detail naps, food consumed and it can be polite to say what activities have been undertaken. For school age children it's also useful to communicate about homework or anything the school might have informed you of during pick up or drop off that the other party needs to know.
If you're both represented, it's easier to negotiate finer points such as clothing responsibilities in the waiting room and have these put in the order. If you're unrepresented it can be harder to have smaller details included as their is an expectation for the court not to have to lay out everything in the order.
You can never predict what a particular judge will decide but there have to be good reasons for a court not to go with Cafcass recommendations, eg evidence, previous case law etc....
In terms of a further hearing, if your ex still contests and the judge doesn't over rule, it could go to a contested final hearing as the law states everyone is entitled to a fair hearing.
It's over.
It's been a real struggle. Having to try to keep a job, paying solicitors, endless accusations and allegations; however, the second court hearing was successful. CAFCASS were great- an outstanding report helped me no end. I no longer have supervised visits, they are extended now and the duration will increase until I have my child overnight next week.
It has felt so unfair- guilty until proven innocent.
Dads just have to stick with it though. Keep the moral high ground. Focus on the outcome and not on the lies that are being told. Don't react.
Next it's sorting out the finances- however, I don't care if I end up in a mobile home. That's not important. Being a positive role model to my child is.
Excellent news π
Another great positive result. Excellent and well done π π π
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We donβt like to set βrulesβ, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.