[Solved] Advice and points for a Child Arrangement Order

hi mate
i went through same thing
false acusations of dv, police werent stupid so i wasnt arrested as her stories didnt match and she kept contradicting herself .

anyway this led to me not having contact with my son 4 months....then due to his age and gap of contact it was ordered to be supervised at a contact centre an hour for 8 weeks. then phased increase of 4 hrs every sat, then 6, then 8 for approx 3 months til final hearing

eventually final hearing took place after 9 months since application. despite all her lies/no evidence of any wrong doing at all against me, i showed i was able to be a better role model to my kid. I work so can provide a stable environment, i am a positive role model, i am educated. but because the mother is not working and scrounging off tax payer, it was decided that child should live with her as she is the "primary carer" despite her dragging him through [censored] for her own gain, and i have contact around my work as i work shifts. mornings/afternoon. i got every weekend pickup friday/drop off sund or monday am depending on shift

My advice is think of everything otherwise like me you will end up going back to court for a) breaches and b) to vary an order where the judge left it to mutual agreement/assumption but knowing full well there is no such thing otherwise we wouldnt be in court.

so cover things like
a) schedule of contact. pickup day and time , drop of day and time (submit shift patterns in position statement of necessary)
b) Pickup location, drop of location. (its usually the parent getting contact that has to collect child)
if you have conflict/false allegations then make it a neutral public place, lots of lighting/cctv to protect yourself.
b) special occasions birthdays, xmas, other religious festivals (depending on your religion), half day each is what i got (as long as child isnt at school)
If you want to authorise anyone else to collect/drop off child on your behalf ( i live with my parents so judge said that if i am working lates paternal grand parent can collect child from mother (by the time they got back home i would be home). so it was to keep up to consistency of court order re times.
c) holidays (this cought me out). i have an order stating holidays are to be agreed in writing between us, 21 days notice, and details of flights destinations etc. this worked in my favour because if i didnt agree in writing to holiday she couldnt go abroad without my consent.
however i didnt clarify that school holidays should be split equally...i mentioned it at the time but the judge said im sure you can be adults about it to work it out between yourself and my useless solicitor didnt even speak up.
so holidays abroad to be agreed in writing (because if they want to take child abroad and the time clashes with your contact time then they need permission) otherwise if time doesnt clash then they can.

and if you are named on birth certificate, then you have automatic parental responsibility means you have the legal right to access your childs educational info/medical records
but this wasnt mentioned on my order i found it difficult to find out who my sons doc was as she gave me false information.

so have a think and detail it as much as possible to tailor it to your needs.

good luck

Hi There,
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If your ex is difficult and controlling, cover everything, as above....
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Holidays home and abroad. birthdays, christmas and bank holidays. School holiday and how they are split. Also try and cover missed time should it occur, so if she cancels due to illness or holidays how and when that time will be made up.
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I would go over the top on getting things like this covered or you will end up going back to court to sort at a later date.
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GTTS

The devil,is in the detail....

I had, and still have a sore experience over a poorly worded consent order....don't be rushed by the opposing barrister, guardian etc... take your time over their proposals and how they fit in with your requirements.

In my case the order says " Unless it is a school day, the child is to spend time with the father on the child's birthday starting in 2017 with the father and alternating annually thereafter....

I didn't see it at the time but the ex manipulated the wording literally and only allowed my little girl to spend time on her birthday with me only if her birthday falls on a weekend. I know that is not what the court meant but I have neither the energy to revert it back to court...

Plan your wording.... have someone read over it and make sure you include every eventuality

Good luck

Thank you all to your comments and time, it is really appreciated.

I am worried how things will work for me though being a shift worker where my shifts change weekly, the only advantage is I know my shifts in advance.

Any other recommendations welcome

How far in advance do know your shift pattern? Does it flow in a regular pattern that would make a schedule that repeats after a set amount of time?

I would work out a schedule of contact based around your shift pattern, and suggest that you make a schedule available to the mother in advance.

Thank you.

I do know it in advance which is good. In flows in a pattern, but with many days off during the week on my shift and them being at school it is hard.

As a result I have drafted asking for 1 weekend a month 1 month, 2 the next month and then back to 1 month changing each month, and then 2 afternoons a week after school for the evening.

I am curious as to how other Orders are worded.

orders can be worded as the judge makes it really, theres no set template

every time i have been in court, the judge usually dictates a set of instructions which the solicitors write out in a draft order which is then typed up

i would submit a shift pattern as clear and simple as possible to court (with your final position statement) and ask that the court puts in a schedule in place to fit those shifts ...
so for example...week 1 of each month, applicant father works xyz and will have contact on the following days /times
week 2 of the months, when father works xyx shift and will have contact with child at ,,,,,,days/times
week 3 etc
week 4 etc

on xmas/birthdays . child will spend half day with each parent, save for when child is at school then times will be ageed between parents

and do the above to highlight your shifts. Prepare in advance mate because the other party/solicitor will try to confuse you and rush you. have it all on paper

Also know in advance your annual leave dates per year and go online....look at the area/council your child goes to school in. use the term time dates for school holidays and then match those to your annual leave if possible

But try to leave out the open vague instructions like "to be agreed between parents" because she will never agree unless its instructed . I would rather have a rigid order myself rather than flexible because mother never allows flexibility and you just get screwed over. Ive had 6 hearings for the original case. then 1 for enforcement and 1 again for a variation. Dont expect it to be over after the final hearing mate....its wishful thinking.
if i was a betting man...id bet a weeks wages now that i will be back in court within next 12 months. But im sort of used to it now and know it like back of my hands.

good luck, stay strong. never quit