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Hi all. I'm new to this forum/site so wanted to first of all say hello.
I've got a 9 year old daughter who I have a brilliant relationship with. I have been separated with her mother since she was about 2. However, I have been very lucky as she has always spent about 50% of her week with me just through a casual arrangement.
Her mother and I have always been pretty amicable, other than the odd [censored] of heads which usually fizzles out. However, just recently, I have run into some serious problems with her and it looks like we are very close to taking it legal. After researching where I stand in the eyes of the law, I am in a massive panic as I am worried that things could drastically change for the worse.
I would be so grateful if someone could give me some advice and let me know their opinion of possible outcomes to this situation if it was to get "legal".
The significant details that I can think of are that we were never married, which I understand may effect things. The approx times that I have had my daughter for the last 7-8 years are as follows: Mon from about 5pm, overnight then to school on Tuesday. Tuesday from 5pm overnight and to school on Wednesday. Then alternating weekends (wk1 - Fri 5pm overnight and all day Sat until about 7pm. Wk2 - Sat from about 5pm, overnight then all day Sunday until about 7pm).
Sorry for such a long message but I didn't want to leave any details out that I thought would help. If you need any more details, no matter what they are, then please do not hesitate to ask.
Thanks in advance, and you do not know how much I will appreciate any help!
I would avoid the legal route if possible. Sadly I am having to go down that route and my bill will be at least Β£5000, my ex will pay the same. My sister knows someone in London and he has spent Β£185,000 so far. His ex has defied a court order and he has run out of money so he can't do anything, it's so sad. It should be a criminal offence to deny a child access to a loving parent but governments don't want to upset single mothers as they are the biggest group of floating voters. There will also be delays, prepare for some false allegations to be thrown at you. If it goes to court, as they say judges make the strangest decisions, often they are sexist as well. You can both look forward to stress. You will need to go to mediation first however this can only work if you both parties want it to.
Good luck. I hope your relationship with your daughter continues.
Hi Darren.
Sorry to hear you're having difficulties. When you say you're very close to taking it legal, does that mean you have attended Mediation? If not, it's worth bearing in mind that Mediation is compulsory before making an application to the courts.
As 'This One' says, avoid court if you can, it should always be a last resort. Sometimes it is unavoidable though, eg if you are unable to secure a stable arrangement for your daughter through Mediation.
It is very difficult to predict what decision a court will make but they will look at what is best for the child and consider - the wishes and feelings of the child concerned, their physical, emotional and educational needs, the likely effect of any change in the childβs circumstances, the childβs age, [censored], background and characteristics, any harm or risk of harm and the capability of both parents to meet the childβs needs.
As you have previously had extensive contact with your daughter, her Mother would have to show good reason for changing this schedule.
If you get as far as an application to court, it doesn't have to be expensive, you can self rep - lots of Dads on here do this. There's an abundance of stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section that have a lot of information that might help.
Feel free to ask away, everyone on here is lovely and very helpful π
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