[Solved] Access to children

We have a court hearing 2nd September. In the meantime I can only see kids at the nursery because social services are doing assessments

Ah ok, so you don’t need to contact the ex to arrange contact then? If that’s the case, I would just deal with her refusal at the next hearing.

At least you’re seeing your children, it’s not ideal I know, but it’s not for much longer, in my opinion, the court are likely to want to progress contact, assuming that the assessments are ok. Hang on in there.

Just thought I would add a comment I read about non mol orders on mums net, in relation to an ex contesting an order:

"I suspect the magistrates will have heard it all before and will know that denying abuse is what abusers do. It's almost a circular argument he's got himself into... If he's not abusive the respectful thing to do is not challenge the order. But he is, which is a sign of abuse.

Try not to worry. Easier said than done I know. But the courts aren't stupid. They know all their tricks."

Is it just me or is this not the most crazy thing you have heard?

Good old Mumsnet...they should change their name to "Men-haters-R-us" or "Feminists-R-us"
Have you seen the Book being advertised about "How to destroy a man" - "a step by step guide for women on how to destroy a man's reputation and remove him from power"
Not being sexist or Genderist ..... but isn't that just wrong that these sorts of places and publications exist?!

The one thing I've learnt in the last 10yrs of my battling the ex for increasing contact with my child is that a father holds no hope against someone being fed this sort of stuff by feminists and men-haters.

take a good look at fathers support groups....everyone of them tells you to do the right thing...jump through hoops and don't do anything to your ex..... yet places like mumsnet they tell them how to get back at the father...how to regain control over him by using the children and hitting him where they know it hurts most!

Sorry but these are FACTS! we live in a society that is driven by "do gooders" by classifying all fathers fighting in court for contact with their children as guilty until proven innocent! and if you just have your word against your ex's and no hard evidence then you will be assumed guilty unless by some chance you actually get a judge and crapcass officer who see through the lies and smoke screens and actually do what they are ultimately there to do...which is protect the rights of the children to a life with both parents control free!

bitter I may sound...may be a little yes...but only because I've gone through it and see it week in week out, on this site (and others) and at monthly FnF meetings...if only the courts could find a way to get battling parents (resident parents) to actually put the children first in all this!

Cut the connection between contact with children and child maintenance! that connection of if you have less time with your kdis the more the ex gets in maintenance is one of the biggest causes of contact disputes!

You want to be bitter about an ex then do it...to my ex I said exactly this in court "I understand your bitterness for me leaving you...go ahead hate me for leaving you for you being nasty/unreasonable and irrational and pushing me to leave....but do not feed my child your hatred of me...I left you not them!" - no 3rd party involved in my split with my ex...I just couldn't take anymore of her irrational and unreasonable behaviour...I gave it several years after the birth of our child before I broke and had to leave for my own sanity and I thought by doing that I could protect my child from her ways....I wish I knew back then what I know today....things would never have gotten to this point.

Apologies for the rant

I have two videos from three years ago. My ex trashed the kitchen, baby screaming and she threw the baby Walker in my daughters direction, and admitted that she hurt my right knee because I was in her face. Subsequently I needed a full knee replacement.
Second video is where I hear a thud, my ex admits to throwing a one year old child and kicking her .
Social services have seen both videos yet seemingly are happy for kids to be with her.
I am only guilty of verbal abuse not physical abuse because of the way she was, always moaning and on social media chatting men up.

Well said dad'i'd and good luck Yorkshire chap. it will help if you listen to mojo

Thank you guys

... you’ll just have to keep chipping away at it Yorkshirechap, it’s upsetting when concerns for our children seem to be underplayed, all you can do is to keep at it, keep the children’s needs central to your case and stay focused on your goal... don’t waste your energy second guessing what might happen, or what the other side are saying... it’s a slow and sometimes upsetting process, it can often seem that you’re getting nowhere, but then things can change and progress can be made.

All the best