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Hi all
It's been a while since I've been on here and unfortunately I'm back again asking for help and advice please.
It relates to seeing my 14 year old daughter at Christmas and her mum doing her best to prevent that from happening.
Firstly, bit of background. A number of years ago I applied for and was given parental responsibility. Later on (after being threatened with denial of access for absolutely no reason) I had to apply to the court for an access order and was given set access (once midweek plus every other weekend). Unfortunately her mum didn't really enter into the spirit of the order and made my life [censored] when it came to holidays, and so I applied and was granted a holiday order which specified how long and when my daughter would be with me for holidays. The entry for Christmas was that it was for the second week of school holidays and the notes said something along the lines of us agreeing arrangements for Christmas Day between ourselves as we'd always managed to do that previously.
The arrangements had always been that I would have her from 4pm on Christmas Day until the following afternoon. This had been the case for 4-5 years.
Ok, so that's the background.
2014, the mum wanted to spend Christmas away at her brother's which is a 3 hour drive away, and so asked if I would agree to not seeing daughter until Boxing Day on the basis that she would be with me the following Christmas eve until Boxing Day 2015. It was a very difficult decision, but I agreed on the basis that in 2015 I would get to spend the first full Christmas with my daughter in years. I made sure that the mum put this in writing to me, which she eventually did.
2015 - Should've known but she went back on the agreement, initially denying it until I sent her a copy of the letter, at which point she said that we should both get to see daughter on Christmas Day (didn't bother her the previous year!) After much to-ing and fro-ing , I had not choice but to back down and compromise and ended up letting her collect daughter at 4pm Christmas Day. I had no choice because she said that if I didn't compromise then she'd stop me from seeing daughter at all that Christmas.
2016 - she left a voicemail 2 weeks ago saying that they were going away for Christmas and that she'd drop daughter off on 27th, meaning I won't see her at all. I've responded in writing saying no chance, court order says daughter is to be with me for the 2nd week (Christmas Day being Sunday, therefore the week begins on Sunday), but she's refusing to back down.
So now I don't know what I can do, if anything. Can I get something in place to stop this from happening? Or do I have to let it happen and then take her to court for a breach of the order?
I'm even thinking of going for joint custody (despite her age) because she has done nothing but show disregard to me as our daughter's father. I have concerns that she bad mouths me and controls what our daughter thinks of me (based on things I've been told), and I feel that once she hits 16, she'll tell our daughter she doesn't have to see me anymore and manipulate things to suit her.
Sorry for the long post, but if anyone can share any advice it will be very welcome.
Hi there
Shared time at Christmas seems to be a contentious issue....it's difficult and iat 14 your daughters wishes and feelings would carry weight...if she wants to go with her mother then that's something you will have to accept in my opinion.
You could apply for enforcement, but if contact goes to plan usually and your daughter expresses a wish to go with her mother to her uncles, you may not be successful...that is if you can get a hearing before Christmas anyway.
Speak to your daughter and find out what she wants.... if you're still unhappy with the situation you can then apply for a specific issue order to seek clarification and have it in place for next year.
You could also try mediation to try and resolve this.
Best of luck
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