[Solved] Access Issues

Hi mate . Whether you represent yourself is one thing but your ex sounds a lot like mine . Access is the one thing they retain control of without an order and boy they try to use it ! Get an application into court ASAP as it’s a slow process and likely your 1st court date will be 2 months away if mine was anything to go by . You can fill in and send the form c100 yourself . There are guidance notes online or anyone on here will be happy to help .
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-c100-application-under-the-children-act-1989-for-a-child-arrangements-prohibited-steps-specific-issue-section-8-order-or-to-vary-or-discharge

When you send the form to the courts they reply back and tell you what happens next and when .
Re self repping I was going to do that but I fond a barrister via the direct access portal that would cost me £400+vat for the 1st hearing . If you can afford it I’d use one . Pre the hearing both sides get time to negotiate etc . Your barrister would so that on your behalf .inlnow my ex would have no interest in talking direct to me so I hope that paying for the barrister once will allow us to reach an agreement 1st time and hence save money and time being wasted on subsequent hearings ...

If you search online for child arrangement orders without a solicitor there are lots of sites that will talk you through the process . I read this site and paid £16 for the guide it was really good
https://www.advicenow.org.uk/guides/how-apply-court-order-about-arrangements-your-children-without-help-lawyer
HMCTS have some videos on YouTube aboht the family courts too

Thanks very much mate.

You're right, she is 100% using my daughter as a tool to get to me. Her dad see's my child more than I do.

I've looked into and been to see a solicitor (a nice 185 quid an hour), also been told about a cheaper way...mckenzies friend.

Guess you only really get one shot at this so just want to make sure I have the best shot at getting what I think is right.

Be careful when choosing a McKenzie Friend, it’s an unregulated body and as such, there are some bad apples. Look for recommendations from real people and do your research... you can always send us a PM to ask about particular MFs and we would do our best to help.

Hi if your case is straight forward and you won’t be accused of being abusive , a bad parent and so on I’d self rep . If you will be , rightly or wrongly , I wouldn’t bother with s solcitor as for not much more money you can get a barrister to be at the hearing and will do some of the work leading up to that . Don’t waste money on solicitors letters to your ex . They carry no more weight than you asking to see your kids . Keep a diary of current contact , keep texts or emails from your ex that prooves it’s all just a power trip . Anything you think a court will find useful . As angry as she may make you don’t flare up or give her any excuse to accuse you of being unreasonable or anything like that . I have enough texts that prove my denial of contact is about money . So you need evidence of your situation rather than one word against another

What I did was see a solicitor for an hour and get an idea of the process etc and the order of things . I was going to self rep but it became clear this was aboht my ex stopping me from being in my kids’ lives so I will use a barrister . Buy that guide . Best £16 you’ll spend . I have no affiliation to that site but I found it really handy .

Hi rilewis,

yes i think you need to take the legal route. before i took it, i was seeing kids every saturday 11-8pm by mutual agreement. that was only after the access times kept changing on weekly basis. when it got to 3pm-8pm, i had enough and took legal route. citydad got a bargain, £400 for barrister. i was paying £900 per hearing inc vat. he did all the drafting of position statements/witness and draf/final orders which was good.

before i took legal route, i thought its nice to see kids every saturday, as opposed to every other weekend. but what happens when you want to take them on big days out, lego land, seaside etc? you need more time, and you deserve more time with your kids. so i went to court and got every other weekend, plus mid-week hours every other weekend. i wanted midweek overnights every week, but ex being too stubborn about it and using kids ages as excuse e.g disruption to routine. that will be a fight for another time.

Yeah £400+vat I was surprised . If only I knew all this when doing the divorce !
What I did was find someone that was quite newly qualified , I think 3 years but I expect perfectly good enough to deal with my case .. obv the more qualified the more you’ll pay . If your stuff is straight forward I guess you don’t need the best in the biz .. you need to nip these things in the bud from the off . You’ll find contact can just get more and more difficult as time passes , and then they meet a new partner and set up shop and want to spend more time with your kids etc and you find your days get moved about more and more to suit them . If you’re on good enough terms to get the schedule agreed amongst yourselves ,a consent order , do that and get a solcitor to write it up and then you can send that off to court yourself . Don’t pay them for the privileged ! Never know might catch the ex on a good day and save all the time and hassle

thanks guys for all the comments.

I think i will try to do this myself until i get a hearing and then look into a barrister for that. My ex is a complete narcissist and will no doubt make up all the things she can to make my life difficult. If she does start making up lies & saying i'm not fit to bring up my daughter then surely any judge would see through that given the fact that she hands my girl over to me every friday night. If i was that guy why would she let her stay with me at all.

I will buy that book and see how far i can get on my own. Thanks again all.

This is almost exactly how my situation arose. I was not happy with only seeing my boys every Saturday (most of the time this was cut short because of family arrangements, parties, etc) and wanted to discuss overnight stays, seeing as we had been separated almost 2 years and I had hoped she would be starting to deal with it. The thought of them staying with me overnight turned her completely and after applying for a court order, she made up allegations that I was a bully and that the kids were scared of me, probably to buy her some time. Whilst this has all been going on, she has successfully alienated me from the children who have since told CAFCASS they do not want to see me. Almost a year on and without any contact, CAFCASS said there was some evidence of alienation and now I am waiting to see my kids in a supervised environment. The funny thing is now, I would do anything just to get my one day a week back again! I have so far spent almost £5000 but recently let go of my solicitor after the section 7 which thankfully highlighted some of her wrongdoing. Just hoping now that I can reestablish the relationship with the boys in the limited time I have with them during supervised contact, before the final hearing in August.

In summary, my advice? Avoid solicitors - they are simply out to make money for every letter they forward, every email they read and anything else that comes with it all

Avoid solicitors .they can’t do anything You can’t do . Get a direct access barrister and fixed fee work .
All you can do now is be a good parent , keep plugging on through the court process and don’t react to your ex trying to provoke a reaction so she can say look this is what he’s like .whichj is exactly what mine is trying . If you can communicate with them on text , email etc so much the better as you can prove what has actually been said and agreed rather than them making stuff up