[Solved] abusive/obstructive ex

Hi Stepdad

Welcome to Dadtalk - we're pleased that you found us 🙂

The best thing you can do is get some free lagal advise on this stuff from our legal experts over at the Childrens Legal Centre. They may take a few days to log on so if you want to call them directly you can find their detail here. http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/directory_of_services.php?cat=Legal%20issues
The CLC will be able to tell you more about what parental responsibility is and what it gives you authority over. ( I am asuming that you were married to your ex when your children were born and that you are named as dad on the birth certificate.) You might like to watch this short film on the subject too.
http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/list_of_videos.php?filename=parental_responsibility

Let us know how things go

thank you i look forward to hearing from them. i am on thier birth certificate but we got married after they were born. not sure if this make's any difference?

thank you i look forward to hearing from them. i am on thier birth certificate but we got married after they were born. not sure if this make's any difference?

I am 99% sure that you have parental rights - both of the above actions give you that.
As part of the divorce, your solicitor needs to look at a prohibited steps order (or at the mimimum, a legal undertaking to court) to stop the postings on-line.

Dear Stepdad

It is not acceptable for your wife to be verbally abusing you or your new partner and her daughter either online or via the telephone. If your wife continues to contact you then this may be considered harassment. Therefore every incident that takes place should be recorded by yourself and also reported to the police. The police will then decide whether or not to take any action. Even if no action is taken then there will be a record of your complaint.

Parental responsibility, in everyday terms, means an ability to have an input into major decisions relating to the children. As you were married to your wife then you will have parental responsibility for your children. You will have gained this through marriage despite getting married after the children were born. Parental responsibility means that you should be having an input into the children’s education and you have the right to challenge major decisions made by the children’s mother. You will be able to challenge these decisions through the court however the court are only likely to make an order in your favour if it can be shown that the decision that the children’s mother has taken is not in their best interests.

Unfortunately, parental responsibility does not give a right of contact with a child. The children themselves have a right of contact and if the children are deemed to be old enough to make their own minds up about contact then there is nothing to prevent you from going to pick the children up when they wish to have contact. At 13 and 15 your daughter’s are likely to be considered competent to make decisions relating to whether or not they wish to have contact with you.

If you feel that your wife is preventing you from having contact with your children then there are ways which you can gain a set amount contact with your children. The first option that you should consider is that of family mediation. Most parents who apply to court for a contact order try mediation first. The courts generally like to see that the parents have attempted to resolve the problems themselves. In many instances, legal aid will only be granted where mediation has been tried.

If mediation is unsuccessful or your ex-partner refuses to attend then you have the option of making an application to court for a contact order. A contact order is an order made by the court under s.8 Children Act 1989. The order makes clear who shall have contact with the child, how often this will be and how long the contact will be for.

Going to court can be a stressful and expensive experience. It is a 'last resort'. Before making an application for an order parents should seek legal advice. It is possible for a parent to make an application themselves, but there are advantages to being represented by a solicitor. A solicitor will know and understand the process and procedures and can help reach agreements.

The court must only make an order where they consider it would be better for the child to do so rather than making no order at all. To make an application to the court you can either use a solicitor or alternatively act for yourself as a litigant in person.

If you are going to act for yourself because you do not qualify for legal aid then an application to the court can be made by filling out a C100 form and sending it to the court. You can obtain the C100 form by visiting the Her Majesty’s Court Service website ( http://www.hmcs.gov.uk ) or alternatively you can visit your local county court to collect the form.

Guidance on how the children and family courts operate can be found by following this link: http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/cour ... 1_0806.pdf . There is an application fee of £175. Once the form has been completed you should return it to the court with the fee. The parties involved will receive a date on which to attend court.

The court will make a decision regarding what contact to allow based on what is considered to be in your children’s best interests. It is likely that the children’s opinions will be sought as part of proceedings and an order will made in accordance with their wishes.

If a contact order is put in place then your wife cannot override this. Your wife will be bound to follow the order and there are penalties for breach of a contact order.

We hope this information has been of use to you. For further clarification regarding this issue or any other issue of child law then please do not hesitate to contact the Child Law Advice Line on 08088 020 008.

Kind regards

Children’s Legal Centre