[Solved] Abuse

Hello to top it all I have just received a letter from her saying I have breached the order 6 times and she has put it in the hands of the court claims my daughter is scared of me and I drink heavily which is all 100 percent rubbish I have never missed a contact and I do not drink heavily anytime let alone when my daughter is there also claims she has tried to compromise several times all rubbish she txt once saying she wanted to discuss my daughter getting upset to which I replied nothing to talk about I had spoken to our daughter about it and she understood why she had been told off and that it couldn't happen again!! What on earth is this woman playing at? I know it's all rubbish so why say it. What should I do? Thanks in advance Steve

hi steve,

sorry but how old is your child again? if she is 12 and over and tells court she doesnt want to see you, then they will certainly act on her wishes and feelings. i really hope this gets sorted out and that silly woman stops messing you about.

for now ignore all the rubbish from the ex and focus on the enforcement hearing. she will probably try and wind you up and use your behaviour against you in court.

Hi and thanks filling the C79 in do I need to apply to have my costs for filing refunded and any other expenses or is this best left? Thanks in advance Steve

hi,

i read cases where dads applied for costs order. stating they had to pay these costs due to ex breaching the order so they had to do enforcement. or the dad suffered loss of earnings due to having to attend hearings. i dont know what your ex's situation is, but you can try make cost order. would be good idea to speak to a solicitor about these things. or if too much hassle and cost, can leave it.

Thank you it has been mentioned I should send a position statement to the court when should I do this? Same time as the C79 or just prior to the court date should i send 2 copies to the court and 1 to her or all 3 to the court? Thanks in advance Steve

hi,

take position statement on the day, a copy for yourself, the court and your ex. if you receive any court papers in the post, ready carefully. it may tell you do give positions statements before date of hearing.

Hi I have put the C79 in to the court and have to wait for them to ring me to take payment. I know I have to be patient with all of this but its beginning to overwhelm me again, I can't stop thinking about not seeing my little girl for months on end for no good reason and to be honest its driving me mad I am constantly thinking about what is going to happen and just want the whole thing to end, this woman wont be happy until I am out of my daughters life all together, even though I got a good court order in May it just seems it was a waste of time as the mother just does and says what she pleases making false accusations and nothing can be done why?? I imagine from her letter that she will oppose contact and I'm sure she has my daughter saying what she has put in her head. I just need to know what to expect and what I need to do to defend myself? I know this is all a bit woe is me which is unlike me I am truly struggling just getting on with every day life work etc as this is constantly on my mind and I dread going up there to be refused contact do I have to keep doing this? I am sure others must of felt the same in the past and I truly could do with some guidance on how to cope with it and deal with what's to come I feel like screaming and giving in any guidance would be gratefully recieved and appreciated Steve

hi steve,

hang in there bro. i have court order but never had to go for enforcement. but if ex denied me a single weekend with kids, i wouldn't hesitate to apply c79 ASAP. i dont get why you have to wait for court to ring you back for payment? thought you can just make online payment when submitting the form.

i remember beginning of the hear, i could not concentrate at work at all, due to court stuff. every email i got from ex's solicitor sent my heart racing lol. keep up the good fight. make sure you have a solid position statement ready, listing all the times contact was breached. its tough but avoid going on and on about your ex. just stick to the topic of contact being denied on regular basis. Use this as opportunity to get more days to see your kids.

i suggest you try distract yourself. anything. hang out with friends, family more. movies. video games. road trips.

Hi and thank you I do try but as you say it's so hard to keep my mind on anything else, I am constantly thinking what if and getting negative which I know does no good and then I start fighting the accusations I think she may make and worry what has been put in my daughters head as there is no doubt in my mind she is being poisoned. After all when she made the allegations of abuse against my partner that were quickly seen as nonsense by the social services and police they said they thought my daughter had been coached seems this woman will stop at nothing it's not about winning it's about having a decent unmolested relationship with my daughter. Whilst I understand and welcome your words it's so difficult not to tell the truth about that poor excuse for a human being obviously happens to many more than me but it's about time the law stopped protecting them. Rant over lol cheers Steve

Hi just an update I have been aware that my ex has involved my daughters school in some way in her vile accusations apparently saying my daughter needs mentoring over the issues she has regarding contact with me just seems to be a ploy to bolster her allegations to me but obviously concerns me!! The school are fully aware I have PR and I would have thought that that being the case I should of been informed of this not find out off another parent? I may well be wrong on that count but unsure as I have nothing but trouble trying to get parents evening appointments progress reports etc and have done since last year any advice on this would be greatly appreciated thanks in advance Steve

hi,

do not get side-tracked by the ex's allegations. they will only get stupider and just smacks of desperation. i had similar rubbish during my case. ex saying she has got referral for children to have mental health assessments. trying to imply i damaged them emotionally. also told court i have hatred for women. really made a big difference LOL :p :p :p

Hi and thanks my question is should the school have informed me of this and kept me updated regarding this mentoring? I thought unless there were safeguarding issues or a court order saying they didn't have to they had to keep me updated on all aspects in school? Or do I have this wrong? They are constantly blanking me ie no school report no offer of photos no access to tickets for school events and so on, I have been on to them re this and had to get firmer saying unless it was resolved I would take it further. Am I correct or can they with hold this? Thanks in advance Steve