[Solved] Abuse

Hi wrote the letter as you advised and posted it recorded delivery today. Then got this text before she has even received it. Regarding sat you wont be seeing her as she has a party. Regarding sun visit I will speak to her and let you know what she decides. Should I still go on sat at the allotted time and sun is my question as I'm know she will not answer the door? She seems to be thinking this is ok is it? How can it be? Thanks in advance Steve

hi,

if court order states that you have them this coming weekend, and she does not allow it, then I think you should enforce the order. wait for this weekend to come and go. if you dont see your child, then apply for enforcement next week. you have given your ex plenty of warnings i take it.

Yes very polite ones all by text asking her not to be silly just get abuse back cheers Steve

Sounds like it's time for you to enforce the order, she's just trying to do what she wants and mess you about as best she can.

As Bill says...see how this weekend goes and apply to enforce order (Form C79) if contact is denied again.
I used the three strike rule with my ex.
Strike 1 - request she reinstate contact as per the court order (politely)
Strike 2 - request she reinstate contact as per the court order with warning that failure to do so will result in you being forced to ask court to step in (politely)
Strike 3 - Apply to court for enforcement and tightening up o f the order with penalties should it be broken again

Be careful about how you message and contact your ex from now on...she could try to claim you're harassing her, keep copies of every message between you for evidence for enforcement.

Hi and thanks I do that as a matter of course anyway. I have spoken to social services because I am concerned how this will affect my daughter they said I wasn't left with much choice and gave me a number for free legal advice it's a local McKenzie friend who when I spoke to was very matter of fact saying it's time to sort her out etc whilst I am not disrespecting his knowledge his stance came across as a little aggressive and that goes against all the previous advice I've been given is this more pro active stance what is needed? I dont want to give the court the wrong impression? Steve

hi,

maybe the mckenzie guy is speaking from experience or maybe he wants paid work. you should get in touch with him again after your next contact weekend, and depending on outcomes.

Hi after two minutes on the phone he was saying I need his help talking about parental alienation and how I would never see my daughter again. He went on to say he would fully assess my case as soon as I had played him £150 for his time. Whilst I know nothing is for free it has made me slightly wary as he had less facts than I put on here. He may well be very good it just seems a strange way to go about things any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated. Despite her saying I'm not having my daughter do I still go to collect her every time I am supposed to? Thanks in advance Steve

Might be worth speaking with the Coram Children's legal centre - they will give free legal advice. Might be worth going to a Families Need Fathers meeting near you also, they may be able to recommend a MF, always best to get one by recommendation if you can.

I've spoken with two Mackenzie friends over the last 5yrs, one took me as far as he could with his experience the other helped me with advice regarding Parental Alienation.

the first one wanted money up front to review the case and have a 1hour skype call with me - turned out to be 90mins and he helped in court also for a fee.

the second one was happy to share general advice without charging me, but wanted payment for any direct work if I needed her direct help....as it happens I just couldn't keep throwing hundreds of £'s at it and ended up just working on information from the forum and families need fathers meetings and forum.

Thank you to you both I did speak to another McKenzie friend he advised me to once again write to her pointing breaches out saying I did not want court because of the effects on my daughter which I have done if no contact is given he said go straight to court as I have then shown extreme patience etc so I have done that. No reply at all off her. Then today I get a call off the csa asking me about changes to my shared contact allowance as my daughter doesnt stay overnight any longer!!!! I did point out that breaching the order did not mean it was amended believing I was correct and she apologised was I correct??? Who does her mum think she is surely you can't just say my daughter doesnt want to see him so the order doesnt stand!!! Seems this is what shes saying if she refuses this weekend do I then put the forms in? There are no safeguarding concerns or I am sure she would have had the authorities act on any lies she decided to tell?? What can I expect at court another long drawn out affair or her simply being told to comply??? I need to steal myself if it's the former as this is beginning to break my will I feel like just giving in please help the advice I get on here gives me hope as it's always been spot on thanks in advance Steve

hi,

you have been very patient. now apply for C79 enforcement if she has denied contact with your child lately.CMS are fools for questioning the court order. just like any call centre, they have some poorly trained advisers. when i got my court order and told CMS about shared cared/overnight stuff, the guy on the phone said he would first need to speak to my ex lol.

from what other dads mentioned, when they went to enforce the order, it became a variation and they got extra contact because of the ex breaching. if your lucky, one hearing. she is clearly in the wrong. you can try go it alone. make a strongly worded position statement, asking court to apply penalties for any future breaches. you can ask for Cafcass involvement and talk to them about parental alienation. they are supposed to be trained experts on it.

Hi got text off the mother just before I was leaving to fetch her"save your fuel she doesnt want to come her choice" obviously I am going to go be denied then put the c79 in I suppose just beginning to get negative thinking what if she doesnt want to? Can't think of why she wouldn't but is there any point in going to court if she says she doesnt want to they will rescind the order I would have thought and I wont see her again. Driving me mad and pulling me down all feels futile is this just me or is this what it's designed to do any words of advice would be more than welcome I am lost in it all thanks in advance Steve