[Solved] Abuse

hi,

this does seem pretty petty. your holiday is abroad? if its not, you could let it slide this time and pick your child a little later. its up to you. the thought of paying for a holiday, then paying another £215 to go back to court, is just nuts.

as she said she wants you to pick up child later. you could say ok, but you will be returning her at a later time to compensate for that 🙂

Hello could you please advise me asap. The holiday I mentioned is due to start the 12th August after trying to make more false allegations she now says she hasn't decided wether she is allowing my daughter to go. This indicates she is going to defy the court order what can I do if anything? Time is obviously short so I need to act now what do I do where do I go etc? Thanks in advance Steve

Until she breaks the order you cannot do anything but hope she doesn't, the courts won't do anything without you providing evidence of her breaking the order.
Her saying she hasn't decided whether she is allowing your daughter to go is not a breach of the order because she hasn't broken the order.

It could be worth while sending a polite message to let her know that you need to know if your daughter coming on holiday with you, if she refuses to confirm remind her of the contact order allows your daughter to spend this holiday with you. if she still refuses to confirm then unfortunately you're in no mans land until she actually breaks the order.

Thankyou for the advice I am due to pick my daughter up this Sat and again on Sun as per the order if she doesn't make my daughter available for these two contacts will that in itself constitute a breach and how do I proceed if it does? Thanks in advance Steve

hi,

if she breaches the order by not allowing you to see your child, then you apply for enforcement. form C79:

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-c79-application-related-to-enforcement-of-a-child-arrangement-order

do you have any evidence where she clearly states she is not going to allow you to take your child on holiday? some dads did enforcement when booked holiday was approaching and ex refused to hand over passports. so they went for urgent hearing; specific issues order.

Hi thanks for the advice only record is the texts she has sent, I only communicate via text with her since all the lies she tried to tell in court, not the greatest as we obviously have to communicate but I have to protect myself. Thanks in advance Steve

Hi latest is my daughters mother has continued to mess me about with my contact saying not well,going to a birthday party and the latest is my daughter doesn't want to come. I have been patient but that is now at an end I need to act on this can someone please tell me what the process is ie what forms do I need what am I applying for, how much will it cost where do I send forms etc. Please help this is driving me insane and is obviously going to be affecting my daughter. I do not know if these are my daughters wishes but I have no reason to believe her mother she does nothing but lie in and out of court and that's always been shown. Please help thanks in advance Steve

hi,

its form C79 for enforcement

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-c79-application-related-to-enforcement-of-a-child-arrangement-order

it costs £215

https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce/change-or-enforce-an-order

Thank you having researched the proper protocol I shall this week be writing her a formal letter reminding her she is breaching the order. I have the c79 forms ready to submit to the court the only reason I hesitate is because if they consider she is justified I may look foolish. The order has only been in place since May this year and she has done the following 1: refused contact over a full weekend prior to me taking my daughter on holiday. 2: Failed to give me at least 2 weeks notice that she was taking my daughter away for the weekend.3: Told me i wouldn't be having a sat contact as my daughter was going to a birthday party.4: refused a full weekend contact saying my daughter didn't want to come. Occasions 2 and 3 could easily been sorted without upset by compromising but i take umbrage at the fact she simply told me to like it or lump it, after all my daughters attendance at her friends party is the important thing and i could have easily taken her not simply say i couldn't see her. The matter of her not giving enough notice may seem pretty and had i been asked in a civil manner i would have been fine but i was just told tough so what if it's not two weeks notice doesn't matter. If it doesn't matter what's the point of the order!!!! She is still dictating what she wants all i want is to have an unmolested relationship with my daughter she must be totally confused and upset as she tells me it's constant questioning about visits of mum and constant negative comments about me. I just want this to stop its driving me to despair. Do i have to carry on like this or do i go to court now? Just want to do the best for my daughter and dont relish the idea of dragging her mum back to court unless i have to. I'm just at a loss please help. Thanks in advance Steve

hi steve,

when is the next weekend that your due to see your child?
i would say wait for your next weekend and see what happens. if she does not allow it, then apply for enforcement.

in the meantime, send her a letter advising that she is breaching the order and remind her to stick to it or you will take her back to court.

Hi I am due to see my daughter this coming sat and sun for afternoon contact then next week fri to sun for overnight contact. I fully appreciate what you advise and will send a polite letter this week then go and pick my daughter up for contact as normal. My biggest fear is she will allow this and then deny me my overnight contact. If this happens do I just apply to the court for enforcement straight away no matter when the next breach is?
My relationship with my daughter has always been good and I cannot understand her saying she doesn't want to come(though I dont believe this for a moment) I cannot stand the thought of having to wait months and months to see her and in my mind that's how it will be as despite my order being very favorable to me it seems her mother can just say and do as she pleases without being asked to justify it!!!! Will this process be a long drawn out affair again? It all seems ludicrous if so what's the point when all a mother has to do is as she pleases as my ex does, constantly pulling me down to my daughter saying well you do as you like daddy can't tell you off. My daughters behaviour has become strange because of these things being said what can I do? Can I ask the social services to get involved? Sorry for going on but this really is getting me down I have done nothing but love and cherish my daughter and this woman just seems to be able to torture me when she feels like it. She constantly lies which was highlighted during the last court case and will do so again I'm sure of that . Thanks again Steve

hi,

if your ex is a freak like mine, as soon as she hears that report has gone to social services about her, she will turn around and say: you will not be seeing your kids until social services contact her and investigate the matter. for now, dont contact local social services.

i would advise, see your child this coming weekend, and continue as usual. if at the following weekend, your denied overnight contact, and this goes against the court order, then apply for enforcement. its almost certain that cafcass will get involved again. if not, you could ask for their help, and tell them about your daughters strange behaviour, and let them investigate.