[Solved] Abuse

Hi just a further update I met with the mediator today for my initial meeting after listening to a brief summary he rang the office and asked for an fm1 form to be sent to me which puzzled me he did not say why is this because he saw it was unsuitable for mediation? He did not say that but I am seeing it in a negative light I did stress that the social services and police were satisfied nothing untoward had happened and had closed the case I expected a few weeks wait for the form? In the past my ex has refused mediation does this have any bearing? Do I now find a solicitor and how much would this cost? Funds are tight to say the least and I can't bare the thought of having to wait and save or is it easy enough to apply myself? Sorry for all the questions but my head is a shed with it all and I just want a way forward and to see my daughter asap.
Thanks in advance Steve

I wouldn't view it as a negative, there could be more than one reason, he doesn't think mediation would work, or she has previously refused mediation.

You have to decide whether you want to instruct a solicitor to act for you, or self represent. If you decide to act for yourself, the court fee for the application is £215 and that would be the only outlay. If you want to use a solicitor the costs will be much higher and generally, you're looking at an amount in the thousands. You could try to negotiate a fixed fee with the solicitor, which might be helpful, but if you feel that you can't afford the cost, self representing is doable and we've had many members here that have done so with much success. We would of course do as much as we can to advise and support you.

To reduce costs, some people do a lot of the initial ground work themselves and employ a barrister for the final hearing, some use the services of a McKenzie Friend (MF) which is more affordable. If this is the preferred option, it's important to do your research and seek recommendations, as MFs are an unregulated body and there are some that it wouldn't be advisable to use.

Hi can someone advise on the form c100 section 1a it asks if the children are known to the children's services? Do I answer yes and give the social worker's name etc given the nature of my original post? Thanks in advance Steve

Hi please could you give me some advice, having put in my court application I got a call from the social worker saying he had been to see my daughter to ask her if she wanted contact to finalise his report. He said she was very vague and not at all the child he had seen 2 weeks before. He said he thought her answers were a result of mum's wishes and he would be going to see her at school away from her mum. Her mum said to him my daughter didn't want contact with me but he implied to me he did not think it was the case.
I really do not know what to do for the best if my daughter is being given negative reinforcement about me and being given what they call PAS how can I carry on the courts won't want to listen. Seems her mother will get her wishes and shut me out of her life I can do nothing. All I have ever been is a caring attentive father I am at my white end and on the verge of just walking away from it all so she isn't put through anymore as much as I love and miss her I am losing the will to fight on as hard as I try the law is in her mother's hands to use as she wishes and I am powerless to show the truth please help I don't know what to do for the best.
Thanks in advance Steve

It sounds to me that social worker has some insight into the mothers actions, hopefully visiting your daughter at school will help her to open up to him and tell him what she would like to happen.

The whole process can be such a strain and very stressful, most people have doubts that things will work out, it's normal to feel that way. Try and take some time out and go and do something you enjoy, recharge your batteries, but dont walk away, you would always regret it and your daughter needs you in her life.

If the report is favourable, the court will want to move the contact forward, try not to think too far into the future and justdeal with the here and now and putting forward the best case that you can.

Speak to the social worker about your fears for your daughter and that you had thought about stopping it for your daughters sake, as you are worried that if the mother is trying to influence her it will be causing your daughter a lot of distress. Explain that your daughter is your priority and all you want is to be a part of her life and because of that you will push on with it, but ask if there's any services available to help your daughter during this time.

You could contact her school and ask if she can be offered some pastoral care, someone that she can talk to in confidence about her worries, ask the social worker if that would be possible.

All the best

Thankyou for your kind words. Having spoken to the social worker again he asked mum if it was ok to speak to my daughter at school and she said no!!!! Her excuse is that she doesn't want her upset by a process she started. It's clear to see she doesn't want this because things haven't gone her way but no one seems interested in what is easy to see! Surely they can insist on this? She also berrated me saying I had not been in touch for contact but her last text clearly said do not contact me so I haven't as I could be accused of harassment. Why does it appear these people cannot see what is happening when anyone can? It's getting increasingly increasingly hard to maintain a calm approach and not criticise them they appear to just be sitting there doing nothing. I am aware it may just be the situation making me think this but it seems they are powerless to stop her surely this cannot be the case they have said in their roundabout way they think she is doing this so why not stop her or can't they?
I just don't understand can someone make sense of this ridiculous situation PLEASE it's driving me mad!
Thanks Steve