[Solved] Abuse

Hello I said I would take any contact offered it seems so ludicrous she stated in her position state ment and I quote I have no objection whatsoever in reinstating my daughter's contact with her dad provided safety is ensured by the police and social services!! it says that clearly in the social worker's assessment!!! Even the social worker agreed it was ridiculous and the lies were ridiculous accused me of taking drugs I work in a safety critical environment and am randomly tested 4-6 times a month and have been for 20 years and never failed just to mention one of the pathetic untruths she put which are easily disproved when the judge said you are welcome to arrange contact between yourselves I asked for permission to ask her and did so which she just refused. Seems these types of people be it women or men can lie in what is supposed to be a court of law with no repercussions it's pathetic.
Thanks Steve

Keep on at the social worker and perhaps look for a contact centre that you can use......

Best of luck

Hi and thanks I have been talking regularly with him. Today he rang to say he had been talking to her and a Christmas day visit was on the cards and he was ringing to sort details with me before going back to her to finalise things this obviously gave me a great boost and immeasurable joy. He did say that it was very likely she would only allow it if my partner wasn't present despite the fact their investigations and those of the police show no evidence found and no safeguarding issues were found. I have said that I obviously agree for my daughter's sake (and for mine truth be known). My worry is that she will twist this as some kind of admission that my partner has done something wrong and will insist this and want an order made not allowing me contact if my partner is present in court! She has done nothing and shown that I know she would only be trying to control my life no other reason as this would make maintaining a relationship impossible! Is it really likely a court would allow this and act on it? I'm sure it must have happened to others in the past? How do I combat this if it is her intention because I'm sure it is? I have expressed my fears to the social worker and that it is to be in no way misconstrued as any type of admission by anyone but will gladly agree to it so that contact can start to be reinstated. This worries me greatly please help!
Thanks in advance Steve

I would just go with getting contact in the first place. Once this is established properly, then you can start to push for your partner to be included. If contact is going well, a court isn't going to stop this without good reason, and since the reports on your partner sound favourable, your ex is going to sound petty in court trying to prevent contact just because she doesn't want it.

Hi just an update and some questions. Next court date is in one week the S7 report has been done and I can see only positive things in it with the reccomendatiions basically being that contact be reinstated with my daughter as it was prior to my ex making her vile accusations as no evidence was found to support any of them. I have had a few contacts with my daughter and it's broken my heart to hear her say how much she misses me and all her paternal family and just wants things as they were. Her mother has been as obstructive as she can in all this with no regard for my daughter's pain. My question is will this be an end to all this nonsense I just want it to end for everyone's sake. Thanks in advance Steve

Courts generally tend to go with the recommendations in a S7 and they will try and get you both to agree to this at the next hearing.

If you can't agree, then the court can list a final hearing where both of you tell the court what you would like them to do and why and the court will make the decisions for you.

Thankyou obviously I am fine with what the report reccomendatiions are but after further talks with the social worker she has indicated she intends to contest the report spouting more false accusations as well as some of her old ones which have been investigated and as it says in the report "No evidence to support her concerns found" which there neve would be as they are all fabrication and as such no evidence can be shown. My understanding is that she will have to present concerns and evidence to the court if she wishes to contest the report is this true? Do I need to prepare anything for court on Monday or do I just leave things in the hands of the social worker who has been ordered to attend? Whilst the social worker has indicated to me he feels she is doing this because of my relationship he has not put this in his report saying at this time it's not relevant as the report should only be about allegations investigation that took place and out comes proposed is this correct? I ask because to me it's very relevant to what has been alleged he also says it's not clear why the allegations were made by my daughter in the report but has said to me on several occasions from day one that because of variations and different accounts being given by my daughter particularly when she was spoken to without her mother there that they thought she had been coached to say it but the report does not mention this surely to god that's VERY relevant? I just do not understand this process at all it makes no sense and the strength I have maintained is leaving me to be honest and I feel like giving in 6 months on I feel I have got no where I'm at my white end!!!! Thanks in advance Steve

You could prepare a short position statement to take with you.

You need to say what you agree with and why and mention what the SW has expressed to you and why you disagree with her.

This is likely to end up as a contested hearing.

Thanks Yoda, I agree whole heartedly that she intends to turn it into a contested hearing and whilst it is frustrating that this will delay things further I am following all the good advice and trying to stay calm positive and child focused. Where I am now slightly confused is I have always been told to work with the social worker and follow his instruction and let him do his job as he appears to be on my side so to put it. If I put that to the court regarding the feelings and opinion he has expressed regarding my daughter being coached would I not be undermining him because when I ask why the report does not contain it he says it's not relevant at this time! I do think it's very relevant but the last thing I want to do is be seen as going against him in order to attack my ex. I am really confused all the advice from yourselves has been followed and I feel that's why I am in a better position than most the last thing I want to do is make a mistake by not taking your advice and highlighting it,but at the same time I don't want to put the social worker offside so to speak. I am so confused and am in court Monday so want to be prepared any advice would be thankfully received. Many thanks in advance Steve

I would speak to the SW and ask at what point he considers it is relevant to your case. Yes you want to work with him and you have done all he has asked of you , but in my opinion you should be open with him, remind him that you have worked with him and hope that to continue, but you feel it is time that his reservations about the mother and the coaching of your child are introduced into the case, due to the continuing allegations and obstruction by the mother and the real possibility of a contested hearing. Maybe tell him that you're preparing a brief position statement and want to touch briefly on the conversation you've with him about it. Put it to him that the court may find it odd if this information is only introduced at the last minute.

If it were me I would speak to the SW, but I'd be interested to see what Yoda thinks, having more hands on experience.

Thankyou mojo I did talk to him first thing and explained the advice I had been given. His response was "that is entirely up to you Steve, In my opinion it will only anger her and make her dig her heels in more" that said he went on to say that should she try and use a part of the statement which says" no evidence was found against any party regarding the allegations and it was unclear as to why my daughter at first made the allegations" to support her contention he would then answer with the feelings of the social services and police that she was coached or pressured and asked me to put faith in them as they were supporting my application. His explanation makes sense to me but at the same time confuses me!!!??? I agree with everything that's been said and on here and by him which I did tell him. Whilst everyone is giving good advice and helping I'm still at a loss as to what to do?????????? Any idea anyone?? Thanks in advance Steve

It’s certainly a dilemma... perhaps you could say something like ...

I have every faith in the Children’s case worker, he has given great support to me through a difficult time. I understand that it can be unhelpful to rise to xxxxs continued allegations and objections, but I do think it’s important to recognise that there is possibly an element of pressure/coaching being applied to our child. This has been discussed and taken on board by the other agencies involved.