[Solved] Abuse

Thankyou for your kind words. Having spoken to the social worker again he asked mum if it was ok to speak to my daughter at school and she said no!!!! Her excuse is that she doesn't want her upset by a process she started. It's clear to see she doesn't want this because things haven't gone her way but no one seems interested in what is easy to see! Surely they can insist on this? She also berrated me saying I had not been in touch for contact but her last text clearly said do not contact me so I haven't as I could be accused of harassment. Why does it appear these people cannot see what is happening when anyone can? It's getting increasingly increasingly hard to maintain a calm approach and not criticise them they appear to just be sitting there doing nothing. I am aware it may just be the situation making me think this but it seems they are powerless to stop her surely this cannot be the case they have said in their roundabout way they think she is doing this so why not stop her or can't they?
I just don't understand can someone make sense of this ridiculous situation PLEASE it's driving me mad!
Thanks Steve

What has the social worker said they are going to do next? I assume they aren't just giving up.

He has given her the opportunity to reconsider which obviously tells me he feels the same about her statement that my daughter doesn't want contact which in itself is quite refreshing.

Well, keep working with them - they are obviously on your side and the more help you can give them, the more they are likely to push her for a result.

Thankyou I have been and he arranged for my ex to drop my daughter at a MacDonalds local to her so I could see her for an hour. Despite the fact she was told to drop her off and then pick her up she followed us inside and sat across from us which I just ignored I was just so happy to see my little girl as she was to see me we had a good chat and after an hour I sent her over to her mum and left.
When I returned home my papers for an FHDRA had arrived on Dec 5th which seems an age away. Thing is my ex has told the social worker she won't attend as she can't ridiculous and just a stalling tactic can she do this doesn't seem right to me anyone any idea?
Thanks Steve

She will have to deal with it at some point, the court case won't just go away! It may get adjourned the first time, but if she continues not to show up they may will go ahead without her.

Have a word with the social worker and ask if he could talk to her about the importance of attending and what could happen if she didn't, that they would go ahead and decide things, even if she wasn't there.

All the best

Hi thankyou for the advice. I have been in regular contact with the social worker who was first involved and he arranged with the ex for me to see my daughter for an hour at a MacDonalds close to the ex's. She was supposed to drop her and then pick her up she didn't she followed us in and sat across so I just ignored her and enjoyed my time with my daughter. Whilst I welcomed seeing her it obviously upset me she wanted to come with me etc and didn't understand why she couldn't I obviously couldn't explain.
Since then the ex has avoided speaking to the social worker and when he did manage to she just fibbed him off and indicated she wouldn't attend court which is Dec 5th. It seems to me she is just trying to prolong the frustration in the hope I react badly. Everything I have read indicates the court won't adjourn without a good reason what are these reasons? Another worry for me is I have a caffcass phone interview coming up and I'm sure they will look at me badly as I have a few convictions for violence although these where many years ago and just drunken brawls and nothing to do with the ex or any child I am sure it will be held against me can it be?
I asked for an interim order on my FM1 should I push for this? Also what is a position statement and do I need to send one to court or just present it on the day? Any help would be great I have had to do this myself I just can't afford a solicitor.
Thanks in advance Steve

The social worker obviously doesn't seem concerned about your past history, so as long as you are honest about this, then hopefully it won't make too much difference about the eventual outcome.

It’s our experience that a no show by one of the parties, will more often than not, result in adjournment.

If CAFCASS ask you about previous convinctions, just be honest with them, it was a long time ago and you’re a different person now, you were young and immature etc etc.

Certainly you should push for an interim order, but be prepared to offer Supervised contact if it looks like it’s going that way.

A position statement can be handed in when you get to court, ask for it to be given to the judge who is hearing your case as soon as you check in, and have a copy for the other party and cafcass. It shouldn’t be more than a couple of pages and is really just to give a little more detail... a little about the background to your case, any concerns and what you would like the court to do.

There’s a template and some more info about position statements that I can link for you.

All the best

Here's some links to info about how to structure statements and also a template that you can use.

www.thecustodyminefield.com/flapp/positionstatements.html

Template ~

http://media.wix.com/ugd/69743a_6f5457e9a07b43ae9dcb67ef4be27cf2.docx?dn=Position%20Statement%20Template%20with%20questions.docx

www.thecustodyminefield.com/flapp/statement.html

www.mfjc.co.uk/home/mfjccou1/public_ftp/...ldren-March-2013.pdf

Hi and thankyou so much for your help and advice it's been a god send. I have prepared my positions statement trying hard to follow all the advice and guidelines given I just wish I had someone to read over it as I may well see it through rose coloured glasses.
A bigger problem has been the ex getting in touch with the social worker and stating my daughter wanted contact at my home, when he asked her to think about it as he thought McDonald's for a short visit was more acceptable she withdrew the offer and this torments me greatly and broke me up. He told me he felt it was in my best interest! He has also said he will not be playing what he considers the game she is playing! Is he doing this for my benefit or just telling me that? Torment and missing my daughter is clouding my thought process and I would value your opinion and that of anyone who has experience. Thanks Steve

I’ve pm’d you.

Try not to overthink the Social workers role, it better not to try and second guess what his motives are, or what the outcome might be... I think it’s as well to trust him, until he gives you reason not to.